Once upon a time there was a blogger who fell asleep while putting her baby/toddler to bed. Maybe she should not be laying down to help her toddler to sleep, you say? And maybe you are right but nonetheless this is what this blogger does because she likes to spend quiet moments with her toddler and she is always tired all the live long day.
Every night she falls asleep with her toddler and then she wakes with a fright at 10:45 because the cat yowled or something and she jumps up and freaks out because she has yet to write a stupid dumb nablowpomo-gumbo-shoe-blow-a-go-go post. She thinks it is 11:45 because of course she has not yet fixed her clock to reflect the time change that has taken place so she is sorely afraid she has failed the great stupid dumb nablowpomo-gumbo-shoe-blow-a-go-go contest she has so stupidly joined.
So she rushes out to her computer and groggily types up some kind of pathetic dribble that nobody wants to read and vows that she will never ever join such a silly contest again because, really, what is the point? Nobody wants to read this sort of crap.
But then she remembers the silly iced tea story she wanted to tell but decides she is way too tired to write it properly and decides to tease her readers with it instead. Which they are surely tired of, since she teases them all the time with posts that she never gets around to writing. But let me just say that it is very funny and it involves a purse and the contents of a purse and good old fashioned bad luck.
At the stroke of 11:29, the poor blogger is attacked by the bad punctuation monster and dies a horribly bloody death. BUT yet, just before she gasps her last strangled breath, she reaches over and hits publish and up goes her post onto the world wide internet. By sheer luck and bad taste she has posted and not broken the great stupid dumb nablowpomo-gumbo-shoe-blow-a-go-go spell. Which by the way, is not stupid or dumb or blowing for all those other prolific and wonderful writerly bloggers. They are quite brilliant, in fact.
The end, the end!
ha, ha, sounds like my nights. This na-blow-pomo thing is giving me nightmares and haunting me, i squeaked in with two mins to spare and an ach from the tired bleary eye rush. Up down up …with the kids now I am goin down again.
Your story sound intersting, hope it doesnt involve a camera.
Ah deadlines. They give me the willies most days.
If your tea story turns out to be anything like the coffee story that I have from this past spring then it should be great.
Besides..you make things interesting all of the time.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
You are hilarious, even when half asleep.
And I know so many people that fall asleep with their toddlers, if that is part of your day and you enjoy it then so be it. I love to cuddle with my sleepy boy, it is the only time I am not getting light sabered to death or shot by a laser beam, instead I get a cuddly blonde head nuzzling in under my chin, oh how I love it. And one day he is so not going to want to cuddle with his Mom.
Lemonade + Purse = I can just imagine :)
I can remember the fun I had with my mother reading stories and making tents with the sheets when I was little. Nice memories.
Does the bad punctuation monster look anything like the bad spelling monster? Because that meanie is always leaning over my shoulder and changing my spellings which I don’t notice until after I’ve pressed submit.
Sugar, I fall asleep putting my bug to bed ALL THE TIME. Sometimes, I’ll put her in her crib while she’s still awake, shuffle off to my bed across the hall muttering, “Mommy’s tired.” and quickly fall asleep listening to her recite her lists of favorite things. “I like cookies! I like school! I like gir-AFFES!” Zzzzzzzzzz.
As someone who would LOVES iced tea (sweet, of course. I’m a southerner.) I can’t wait to hear your story. So your tease worked on me!
SAJ, you are your own worst critic! Even half asleep you are funny and entertaining. And, you have me on the edge of my seat, waiting to hear more about the tea story. If nanoblowshoe gumbo, or whatever, means more SAJ antics, I’m resolutely in favour of it.
You are great. I happened upon you once upon a time because of a male co-worker who was trying to find the words to the song by Fats Domino “Hey Josephine” (my middle name). I have a daughter who will be 2 years at the end of Nov., so I have enjoyed your stories of Bug. Although…they do make me worried that my girl is falling behind after reading your grocery story of Bug singing at the top of her voice in the grocery store. I’ve starting singing the alphabet song and counting to 20 with her all of the time so that she can catch up! She’s getting better ‘one two seven woooo’ is what she typically responds with!
I also love your beach photos because I’m all the way over here right be DC and we just got our cold snap and I’m in a sweater with a turtle neck drinking hot chocolate! Have a great day and keep up the great stories!
Wholeheartedly agree with Jen, SAJ — even your late-night, frenetically typed NaBloPoMo just-squeaked-in-under-the-deadline “ramblings” are done with flair!
Moose in the Kitchen
I was frantically hunting for a post last night at 11:30 too. I succumbed to the temptation to just throw up a picture of my dog. I bow to your ability to compose actual paragraphs.
She Likes Purple
I don’t have a toddler and am not doing the everyday post thing, and I’m still frantic most of the day. I really do suck at being an adult.
Ramble all you want. You know we are listening, whereas at home if we start to ramble that special someone (and now my 13 year old) go “ya, ya, ya, get to the point.”
I’m off to meet up with a couple of etsy artists at a coffee shop. Yea!! Adult conversation and a little crafting on the side.
Oh, and are those Bethany’s feet?
The Chatty Housewife
:) Nice post, that was enjoyable to read. I think we can guess what happened with the iced tea. Have you taken photos of your kitchen dance floor yet?
And this? THIS is why we love you.
You’re so awesome!
You crack me up. Only you could write this!
This is thee best post. SAJ, you rock! I am loving NaBloPoMo and will be sad to see it end.
My husband and I took turns lying with Lil’ Bum to get her to sleep until about 4 months before Baby Bum was born. She will go to bed by herself but occasionally I sleep with her because it makes her so happy.
I love it. NaBLo is kicking my butt this year, so I understand. But I like my new blog header at least! :) Even if I despise all my entries!
It is chilly willy here in The Queen City, so the beach pictures are a delight to my soul :o) I love the pic of your’s and BA’s shoes together in the sand too. How are things at Club Ponnay (the dance floor in your cucina)? I expect to see some break dancing SAJ style with your BB in tow! How about “It’s Tricky” by Run DMC to start things off – “This gig is my recital, I think it’s very vital, to rock a rhyme that right on time…Here we go! It’s tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that’s right on time, It’s tricky – What what”
Allright, allright :o) You rock, SAJ :o)
Ha! I’m too tired to write more, but HA! :)
I already failed at NaBloMyChances at winning a prize. My MacBook died, so I had no choice. My poor MacBook. Off to the Genius Bar we go. I’m still going to stick with it though. I might fail, but I will not quit.
Lovely story. Now I’m hooked.