The Unfortunate Timeshare Time-Suck and the 4am Fun Bunch

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Payam and I took a trip to Vegas this past weekend to celebrate our SIXTH anniversary (of not being married but acting like it). It was pretty fun of course. But let me tell you about the timeshare time-suck we got suckered into. Hah! Did I say the word suck enough? Because it sucked. Like a hoover. Those of you who have been through one of those Wyndham Resort Sales pitches are shaking your heads and laughing at me right now, I know.

Whooo. Boy. What a doozy.

A few drinks may have been involved when Payam and I stumbled out into the night air in search of cheap food. Suddenly out of nowhere someone offered me free Mystere tickets.  You could say it was an organized attack. Why, yes I would like some Mystere tickets. What’s the catch? Nothing, you just have to sit through a 120 minute sales pitch AND guess what, the sales woman will throw in her commission! Just sign your name on the line 15 times and put down fifty bucks that you’ll get back tomorrow.  That doesn’t sound like a scam at all! Well, not to somebody like me who’s spirit animal is tequila AND I really really wanted to go to a show instead of watch Payam gamble all night.

So yeah. We got suckered like the big fat bunch of suckers we are. The next morning we headed to our rendezvous to wait for our shuttle to take the tour. Thirty minutes later we actually got on the tour bus with ten other suckers just like us. You could hear the bleating of all the sheep before slaughter. The woman in front of us told us that back in the day she used to go to four of these a day and practically spend three days in Vegas for free with all the compensation “gifts”. That lifted my spirits a little but it turns out she was totally wrong.

They took us to another hotel and loaded up another 10 suckers before we finally made it to the Wyndham Resort itself, which let me tell you is nothing much. I mean I could understand wanting to sink some investments into Vegas property as the prices soar yearly now that they have multiple resident sports teams and plans of a super fast train between LA and Vegas but… the property itself was not anything I would really seek out. I’m all about boutique hotels and adventure and charm. Wyndham is about families and comfort and having your own kitchen. They didn’t even have a breakfast buffet for us. The “snacks” were gross coffee, powdered cream and a few packaged Danish cheese rolls. I was ready to get out already and we hadn’t even started our 120 minutes.

This was just the beginning of a very complicated waiting game designed to torture and subdue. After another fifteen minutes or so we finally met our friendly Persian sales guy. Of course they stuck us with the Persian guy. I’m sure they put down all the names on a table and when they saw a name that ended in a vowel Payam was a goner. Payam tried to pretend he doesn’t speak Farsi but that lasted all of three seconds. Before he knew it they were shaking hands and talking about where to get the best koobideh in town.

I won’t write up a whole play-by-play of the rest of the torture game but let me just say it was a lot of waiting and NOT talking about numbers. Whenever we would ask what it costs they would say, What is vacation worth to you? It was all about family values and making memories and how horrible you should feel if you don’t spend quality time with your family. Can you really put a price on that?

Yes, actually I can and it does NOT cost me four hours of my day in Vegas. So finally like fifty years later when my eyes were rolling back in my head and Payam was about to break out some karate to get out of there, they told us what the down payment would be. We obviously did not have the money for the deeply secret down payment and we were not interested in getting a loan to finance it. I mean, we did get suckered into the sales pitch but we aren’t complete morons. But that didn’t mean they didn’t try all the tricks in the book. Gifts and incentives galore, lots of going in and out of offices to consult with management. I felt like I was back in a 1990’s car dealership buying my first car. Our sales guy even had the body oder to match.

We were so done. When we finally signed a document saying we really were not interested (imagine that?!!) and we finally got our “gifts,” Payam and I didn’t even want to wait for our shuttle back to our hotel. We ordered an uber and got out of there as fast as we could.

BUT we did get tickets to Mystere and it was awesome!  It is true, there are no bad seats in the house for Mystere. We thought we’d be stuck in the back with our level 3/4 freebie seats but they were great. It was a great show. I can’t say say they were WORTH the four hours of torture but I would definitely pay full price for them.

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After the show we met up with my good friend Bethany (from 9th grade!!!) and Stephan (her roommate and therefore my buddy too) who live in Vegas. We partied like rockstars which lead to us exploring Fremont street at 4am like the locals do. It was crazy and fun and I laughed my voice hoarse. Bethany and I always get each other busting up since we have a lot of material being old college roommates and beyond.

And then I got the idea we should take pictures in front of this really well lit pizza sign. Because why not? Bomb lighting is bomb lighting!

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What a bunch of nuts, right? Good thing we only do this once or twice a year.

Seasonal Acceleration Update

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It’s that time of year when you wake up and realize that even though it feels like August was yesterday, you are now in the middle of November and Christmas is probably tomorrow. Don’t blink.

I love this time of year but it goes so fast for me. Firstly because it’s busy season for me with work and secondly because there is so much to celebrate that I love! Pumpkin pie, cozy fires, slippers, crisp early morning dog walks, apple picking, caramel toast… need I go on? I am in the thick of it and loving it all.

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My parents are back from harvest in Idaho. Have I mentioned that they go to Idaho that every year? My dad drives trucks for the beet and potato fields and earns some extra wages to help get them through the year. It’s a fun time for them because we have a lot of family in Idaho so they make money and get to spend quality time with family. It’s really really nice for them. I can’t say I’m not jealous but them’s the breaks when you turn your back on the religious beliefs of your relatives. (That is such a loaded sentence. You know I have not done this lightly but I can’t really get into that here.) Anyway, they are back and so I took Spreckles back to them.

I was expecting a grand reunion but dogs are dogs and Spreckles acted like it was just another Tuesday.

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My brother is in town for a while. It’s really great to have him around. It struck me, as we were all in the car driving to lunch, with me sitting behind my mom and my brother sitting behind my dad that this is just like we were little again. There we were, the original family unit. I almost wanted to start complaining that my brother was crossing the line and breathing in my space. But he wasn’t. He was being big and lovable and I wanted to give him a hug.

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Speaking of hugs, right after I left the desert, my mom got really sick (stomach issues) and she had to go to the hospital. I should have lead with that information but I think she is going to be okay so I don’t want to make too big of a deal of it. She’s been in the hospital for a few days while they do every test in the book to see what is wrong with her. She has really good health insurance and good caring doctors so I am pretty confident they will figure out what is wrong and fix her. But of course I am worried. I think today we will find out what is wrong. Prayers are appreciated. And hugs and flowers if you are in her neighborhood. I will try to keep you posted.

Edited to add: Mom is better! She is coming home Sunday (11/10/19). Yay!

 

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In other news, Bug has asked for a trip to Eureka to visit her dad’s side of the family for her birthday. What a fun and interesting thing to plan instead of the usual over-the-top birthday party! (I wish I could say it will cost less but I think it will be about the same if not more.) So far I’ve booked our flights and hotel room. So exciting!