domesticity,  Family Matters,  Moody Blues

Life Goes On…

orange coreopsis

I feel really bad being moody when there are so many people around me with real problems. Like my family for example. My brother and his wife are moving out of my parent’s house and it’s been a little bit testy for everyone. They love each other and everybody is going to be better off in the long run but you know how these things go. It’s kind of like a break up. Break-ups always hurt even if they are the right thing to do.

I hope I’m okay typing about this. (Please IM me, family, if I’m not and I will quickly delete these first paragraphs.) I’m not caught in the middle, thankfully. They know better than to do that to me. It’s not like my brother and his family are at horrible odds with my parents (or vise versa). It’s just a change. A big change. A big change with lots of growing pains and hurt feelings and little kids that get confused when the adults act on their emotions. You know how these things are. It’s scary for everyone. But I guess it’s part of growing up, no matter how old you are.

For now, just pray for my family. They need some extra care.

I’m plugging away as usual. Life goes on, doesn’t it? I’ve been pulling off the super-mom identity pretty well lately. Today at the grocery store when the checker asked me if I needed help out to my car, I shrugged, hoisted Baby Bug on my hip and said, “No. I’m super mom.” She laughed. I guess she doesn’t hear that every day.

I tell myself I’m a super mom every day. It’s how I make the daily grind less grinding. “You are a SUPER HERO!” I chant as I carry the groceries up the stairs and then later when I tote the over-flowing garbage down the stairs and Baby Bug whines and complains at the gate waiting for me. Being a mom and a domestic-keep-it-all-together expert is not a pretty job but somebody’s gotta do it. I hope you don’t mind me saying this but I think I do a pretty blankety blank good job.

Somebody’s gotta make coffee and keep the floor clean and remember what day to move the car so we don’t get a parking ticket. It’s kinda like being an office manager except I don’t have to unjam the copy machine any more. I unjam other things like the sink drains and baby feet that can’t get through pant legs.



  • Kuky

    Sometimes the daily grind is just too much and I blow up. But I really feel justified when I blow up. But then the bad feelings linger for days. And lately I want to hold onto the mad longer which is so unlike me. Hmmm…maybe I need to say that to myself: I AM A SUPER HERO!

  • Jennifer

    Oooh, I love Cosmos. I’m thinking good thoughts for your family’s transition. I have a huge bombshell to drop on my parents in the next year (moving away from them) and I have no idea how to do it. It will definitely feel like a break up.

    I think moms are definitely super heros. Today I ran a quick errand all by myself and I felt really naked. Our kids must be super hero side kicks.

  • Bethany

    I think every mom, rich or poor, knows what you are describing, SAJ. I’ve been struggling lately with the domestic-keep-it-all-together part. I think it might have something to do with Annalie suddenly being very 3 and testing every-freakin’-thing we say to her.

    I will keep your family in my prayers! I hope the move goes smoothly.

  • OMSH

    Oh SAJ, you are right on the money for what makes a Super Mom. And of course you are a Super Mom – because tucked away under your bed are your Secret Agent Josephine boots, just waiting to be put on for an adventure.

    Even super agents take out trash.
    And eat avocados.
    Good stuff like that.

  • DeeJay

    Super Mom you are! It made me think of about 11 years ago when I was just starting my new job. My new job where I tripled my income by getting said job and was stressing over keeping it. At the same time I was a single mom of a 10 and 7 year old. Both kids had scouts one night a week and karate 2 nights a week. I had cardio kickboxing two nights a week and was putting in over time to learn my job well. The yard was mowed on Sundays and Wednesdays to keep the ticks and fleas away. On Saturdays I’d clean and buy groceries. On Sunday’s I’d precook as much food as possible for the week and store it away for ease of making dinner at 7:30 p.m. when we finally made it home. Baths started at 8:30 p.m. and we were all asleep by 10:00 to get up at 6:00 a.m. the next morning to start all over again.

    Two years later I was married and we hired out the yard work and I had a partner who would claim the kids from day care and sometimes have dinner ready when I got home from work. (he worked the shift before mine)

    Now…well it’s fairly quiet and I don’t know that I have an identity other than the lady that cleans up dog puke on the bathroom floor and takes pictures of weird stuff.

    I guess what I’m saying is…hold on to you. Your own happiness depends on how much you time you allow yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in have toos and deny yourself an occasional want to. The trick is to stay balanced.

    I feel for your family and the pain of separation that they must all be feeling. Stay strong for them and be a shoulder to cry on if need be. I too will keep you and them in my prayers each night. I wish you and your sweet family a wonderful day.

    SAJ says: I hear you DeeJay. It’s hard to imagine what life will be like post motherhood but I know you are right. I’m dreaming of a painting studio all to myself someday… :)

  • Alissa

    Thanks for reminding me of all the things we do. It’s very easy to forget or not even quantify at all. I’ll send loads of positive thoughts to your family at this difficult time.

  • Gretchen

    After having a particularly bad day awhile back, my five year old boy handed me a lime green bracelet with a smiley face clasp. It read, “You’re Awesome!” He told me he wanted me to have a “happy day.” Talk about putting me in my place.

    Every once in awhile, I wear the bracelet to remind me to have a happy day and that I am, indeed, awesome.

    I wore it yesterday in fact.

    SAJ says: What a cool idea! I want a lime green smiley face bracelet!

  • Amanda

    I love it!! I really need to start taking on that attitude! And hey, for what it’s worth… I think you’re doing a pretty blankety blank good job. You’re a rockstar. So creative, motivated, active, and fun. You’re the kind of mom that motivates the rest of us to better use our “free” time. :)

    Also, I know it’s been said already, but what’s the dealeo? My avocados here are crapola compared to that. Talk about beautiful!

  • Kami

    Glad you feel like Super Mom… we all have good days and days where it all gets overwhelming. You sound like a super fun mom and I know BB will appreciate it when she is older.

    Warm wishes for you family :-)

  • Ani

    I love your blog. You write so honestly but beatifully. I’ve been enjoying reading your older posts.

    SAJ says: Thank you Ani and everybody else too. I’ve been feeling like I don’t have much to offer here on this blog these days. But maybe I do, I just don’t see it as cleary as those manic days when I’m making crazy pink cats or carving up boxes or something.

  • Kate B.

    I’ve been having a hard time keeping things together lately, and the domestic side of things is really falling apart. Your post *really* hit home today.

    I was an office manager pre-Ella, and yes, motherhood is so similar. What has been especially frustrating for me lately is that I feel like no one else understands that, and everyone thinks I sit around and eat bon-bons and wait for their call every day. But being a stay-at-home mom is hard work, isn’t it?

    SAJ says: Oh yeah. I think it’s even harder than that Burger King job I had where I had to scrape gum off the bottom of the dining tables.

  • andrea

    You, me and every other mother out there reading this, we are all super mom’s. It is definitely a job for a super hero and I think most of us fall into that category. It does help to constantly remind myself throughout the day that all these daily grind items have to happen. I try to think of it as a challenge, how quickly I can get all my “chores” done so I can have some “me” time. You have a great attitude and definitely inspire me on those days that I am just feeling blah.

    I am thinking of your family and hope that once the growing pains are over everything can get back to it normal chaotic way of life.

    SAJ says: I’m constantly trying to beat the clock and get some “me time”. Who needs competition or a time clock? I am my own best boss.

  • Audrey

    Thanks for the reminder of all we do and that we are all supermoms! My house and yard seem to be falling apart since I’ve returned to work, and I don’t know when I last cooked a dinner like I used to, but I keep reminding myself that the reason for those things falling apart is that because when I’m home, I’m focusing on what is important: my beautiful baby girl who doesn’t care that the house is a mess and smiles at me no matter how many weeds are growing in the flower beds.

  • BeachMama

    You are a SuperMom! As most of us are. It is such hard work to be a Mom or a Dad, but somehow I think Mom’s get the brunt of it, especially when they stay at home. A friend of mine has Wonder Woman undies she wears when her hubby goes out of town for work (she is Mom to twin boys, 5years old). She has recently graduated to a WW t-shirt. I don’t know how she does it but she keeps it all in order. One day you will look back on all of this time and wonder exactly how you did it all.

    As for your family, they will get through it too. They have been living together for a year or more haven’t they? It is a long time for grown ups to live with their parents. The kids will be ok too and in the end everyone will be happier.

  • Pam

    i think you’re amazing, i always find myself reading this blog or looking at your pictures, or especially watching the videos you post and thinking that i’m jealous but the thing is i can never figure out of who, it’s either of baby bug bc she has the greatest mom/childhood ever or of you bc somehow make mothering look inviting and wonderful and simple, i know you don’t see that but it’s true, 100%, i hope this ping pinged up your mood a little ;)

  • Heather B.

    I keep getting distracted from the words by the photos of the food. It’s getting really hard to comment on the content when there is a gorgeous avocado and/or cake and/or whatever right there at the bottom of the page.

    P.S. I think you’re super.

  • Clownfish

    The avocado photo was playing games with me. I actually thought the pit hole was reversed out and embossed vs. debossed(sp). Like one of those Magic Eye photos of days gone by. Then I focused and that was that. – No, I’m not smoking anything.

  • nila

    Thanks for reminding me that I too am “super mom”. I forget, and I’m going to tell myself that from now on. A new mantra.

  • jenB

    I guess the ideal would be to get it all done and take time for yourself. I find one or the other suffers, but sometimes that is ok. In fact, that is ok. Period. Also, those are the most perfect avocados I have ever seen. yummm.

  • Sam

    Hey, we’ve got that mustard jar, too! I will have to keep it when it gets empty – we need to eat a few more packages of bratwurst, I suppose.

    I think your mantra is one we can all use. I know I worry about keeping everything together, especially when our baby gets here. It’s going to be an adventure, I know. :)