half assed posts,  place holder posts,  Slow News Day,  spilling my guts

un-censored ramblings I’ll probably wish I didn’t write

hedge for short

I’m so tempted to type, “I got nuthin'” and end it at that. But then I’d have to clock myself over the head with this big cardboard box I keep my laptop in because I’m the girl who proclaims loudly that she NEVER ever gets writer’s block. Oh no, not me!

That would be like the time I took a car truck ride with that really cute boy I was sort of dating during college and we drove the whole way to Costco (which was in the next town over) and I couldn’t think of a single thing to say the entire hour it took to get there. That was so terrible. How could I not think of a single thing to talk about?!!! I always have something to talk about. I’m the queen of making lively conversation. I’m a journalism major. I’m trained to ask the hard questions. What was my problem!!! I don’t know. It was something about being obsessed about having bad breath. Even after all these years I don’t like to think about that guy.

Today is not quite that bad. It’s not that I can’t think of something to type. I could ramble on for days… it’s that I’m thinking about my audience. Who reads this? What can I type that I won’t regret when some long distant relative googles their last name and this post comes up because we happen to share the same six letters in our name.

Isn’t it funny how you always think of one person or another when you’re typing a blog post? Don’t you? I do. I often think about my father-in-law. (Hi George!) I don’t know if he reads this blog every day or not but I know he does sometimes and that sort of keeps me on my toes and quiet on some things.

Not that I have secrets but I just don’t want to blab about stupid things. He comes here to read about his grand-daughter. I want to show him that I’m a good daughter-in-law and show off all the crafts we do together or whatever… I just sort of feel like I have this reputation I have to uphold. Which is really silly since of all people, my father-in-law would probably love a rollicking good story about how this one artist (who I found out later is really famous) once asked me to pose nude for him.

Yeah, I never wrote about that before. But then I start thinking about my Aunt Kathy, who I adore, but would probably NOT want to read about her niece posing nude. Well, rest assured, Aunt Kathy. I never did pose nude. I guess I had some sense in me back then. But sometimes now, when I see this famous artist’s work, I sort of wish I did. Because how cool would that be to see yourself in some gallery and know that you were part of something historical. Plus, I sort of wish I had documented the body I had back then that is now falling down around my hips like bread dough.

Ugh! Shudder! Shudder! Shake that thought!!! See! This is why I don’t let myself type willy nilly regularly. There is always something there to write about, it’s just not always something best to be read.

So anyway! What’s new pussycat? Want to hear about our latest potty-training endeavors? Do you ever find yourself dumping the pee water from the small baby toilet into the big toilet and then washing said baby toilet in the sink and wonder what has become of your life? Washing pee? I’m not really complaining. I’m so proud of my “Big Girl” it’s just that I never really realized that my days would be filled with chores like this. I guess I thought there would be more martini drinking and wearing of frilly aprons or something.

Speaking of aprons! I cannot end this post without a shout out to my sister-in-law and her shop! Check her out! She is single-handedly supporting herself and her addiction to the dollar-bin at Target! Wooo Hoo! You go girl! (Psssssssst! She’s giving away an apron on her site and she may or may not forget to close the comments before you get there.)

While we’re on the subject of supporting habits, I wanted to let you all know that my sister-in-law and my mom and my nieces and Baby Bug are all planning a trip to Blogher in July! ROAD TRIP!!!! Of course we are all broke so we need to drum up some funds so we can afford to stay at fancy princess hotels while we trudge our way up there with six people in one gas-guzzler car. That means you can stay tuned for some kind of crazy self-promotion fund raiser stunt going on here at this site as soon as I think something brilliant up. Or we could just stay at Motel 6. Which might happen, depending on my slacker-dom.


  • Kaili

    Ditto for me! I have LOTS to write about, BUT I also think about certain people who read my blog. Oh geesh hey?
    I did however pose nude. Not for anyone famous. It was more for selfish reasons, when I was pregnant. I wanted some art of my big ass self!
    Yay for you going to Blogher! I want to go!!!

  • bethany actually

    Ohhhh, you are seriously tempting me…I would LOVE to stay at the fancy princess hotel with you guys. Did I ever tell you Troy lived in San Luis Obispo for several years as a kid? We’ve visited the bathrooms of that hotel many times but never stayed.

  • DeeJay

    See…that didn’t hurt, did it? hehe

    Funds for blogher huh? Should be interesting to see what you come up with this time.


  • Carrie

    I think I would have to close my blog if my family or in-laws knew about it.

    Erik is totally obsessed with your pinecone porcipine. He keeps saying “lion guard! Lion guard!” Then he tries to lick it. I hate it when he licks my laptop. He also likes to lick pictures of babies.

  • a madhouse wife

    OK–here comes the writing teacher in me…I love this post because it addresses audience in blogs. The only problem with blogs is that most of us self-censor to death because we’re afraid of who is reading. Think about how different our musings would be if they were in a private journal or a locked down blog that had no readers. Even if you’re just writing for your kids to read some day, it’s different because you try to show all the fun you had and not write about what brats they were. Or maybe that’s just me. ;)

    Do NOT stay at the Motel 6! They will not leave the light on for you. I witnessed in a span of two weeks two reservations being lost/canceled/screwed up. And that was, like, in 2 out of 3 instances. (The third reservation being mine, which was not lost/canceled/screwed up.)

  • Jummy

    You ramble so engagingly!

    And your road trip to Blogher sounds like it’ll be SO MUCH FUN! I can’t wait to read of your adventures!

  • sizzle

    Yay that you are going to BlogHer! ;)

    I’m sure you will come up with a great fundraising plan though…I don’t think Motel 6 is all that bad. I had to find a cheaper hotel then the one the conference is being held at. I’m struggling for cash so corners had to be cut.

  • Marie

    Rambling is the best! Sometimes it’s just good to get certain thoughts out.

    Hope you get to stay in fancy princess hotels!

  • Neil

    You know, SAJ, while it seems that blogging is supposed to be the place where you blab every detail of your life, I don’t think it is true… or very healthy. While no one wants to read a blog with no energy to it, yours is always full of emotion and creativity — and you have made your blog interesting without having to resort to nude modeling stories (or almost stories). You have your beautiful artwork and photos, and stories about your family life, and how you try to be a fun, creative mother. That IS interesting, and I like reading about it. Sure, everyone loves the gossipy stuff about the time you went on a date with a sexy circus midget, but like you said, sometimes you just don’t want to get too personal when you know your mother never knew you went on that date.

  • Gingermog

    Your life won’t always be about the pee, very soon there won’t be any more diaphers… well until the next BB comes along. And I think your life is fabulous, you live in California by the beach woohoo! Your creative double woohoo! You have a little girl and great husband triple woohoo!

    I know, we all have slouchy days though.

    I’ve done some high faluting stuff, been to champagne loft parties in NY, film award ceremonies la de dah… much more fun paddling on the beach with my nephews n neice. High life is wim wam, family love is real.

    Meanwhile why can’t you wear a posh frilly apron while you clean the potty and afterwards fix yourself a cocktail (virgin) in a nice glass, n stick in a paper umbrella and a glace cherry.

  • Red Sonja

    I love the few seconds before your website fully downloads and thinking, “will she have posted something today? will she? how could she possibly have the time? SHE DID!!” You are incredible! Even if it’s just an easy breezy, “what to say?” post – you’re definitely my rum and coke along the lines of “naptime is the new happy hour!” And the pictures are like making it a double! Thanks for the buzz! I didn’t even know that clicking on ads makes you money – DUH – but I really am a blog-bozo! I’ll definitely help in making sure you can go on your trip as best I can.

  • Jennifer

    The reasons that you feel like you need to edit your blog posts are the reasons why nobody in my family know that my blog exists. NOBODY. I’d probably never write anything if I knew my mom was reading my blog.

    I love your SIL’s aprons. I need to start saving up for one. I’m a sucker for lemon prints.

    Oh, I can stomach the rinsing of the pee from the tiny potty. It’s the sludgy poop that sticks to the sides that really makes it hard to be a mom sometimes.

  • CC

    The only problem with that hotel is do we want a pink, green, or blue room. ‘Cause you know if we ask the kids we’d get all three answers.

  • Lori

    one of the benefits of having giant babies and toddlers who are the size of normal 4yo’s when they are 2 is .. you get to skip the teeny potty! they just go straight for the regular-size throne.

    i enjoy your rambles, dear, so feel free to do it any time! ;^)

  • BeachMama

    Even when you have nothing you say so much. I think this is the year for writers block. Although I can say I just barely get enough time to write a comment (and it is usually with one hand) right now. But, if I did let myself go, I might just never stop.

    Let’s see what you’ve got for BlogHer support!

  • jenB

    the thought of meeting you all makes me squeal with the need to hug!

    and i know i bought one, so i am bias, but CC’s aprons kickass.

  • Chef

    Too bad that GM Carpool to BlogHer won’t work…

    I am staying with friends because the fancy hotel is above my means, too.

  • OMSH

    I can’t even think about the fact that I won’t be at Blogher during a year when people I want to see WILL be at Blogher.


    I might just throw a fit…or pose nude…or something.