na blow me,  raving lunatic rant

Day Twenty-nine: Tales from the Road Day

shoes in traffic

I spent a lot of time on the road today. I’ve been driving around desperately seeking the world’s most perfect envelope to send out the gift tags. I want something tough, yet small and cheap. So far, nothing exists that doesn’t push my shipping costs up over a dollar. And we can’t have that now since I’ve already set the price and a bunch of you have taken advantage of my generous low prices. (I try.)

Ideally, I’d have something made out of tyvek that is the size of an A2 envelope. But now that I’ve researched tyvek, I’m convinced it is evil. Apparently, it’s the plastic that will never ever break down until the end of time. I don’t really want to give you that kind of gift that keeps on giving.

Maybe I could make my own Frankenstein envelopes. That would be really cool but would also require a lot of time and right now I need to get those tags out pronto for all of you celebrating hanukkah! I’m probably just going to end up with a regular paper envelope reinforced with packing tape. Don’t worry though, I’ll decorate it with a pretty label. I stand by my graphic designer honor badge and refuse to send out ugly mail. (Not counting all those years I designed junk mail of course.)

So anyway, a road story. Baby Bug and I have been listening to a Wiggle’s cd lately, thanks to her Auntie CC. Toby hates the catchy tunes that get stuck in your head for months but Baby Bug and I love them. There is one song on cd called “Where is Thumbkin”. I can’t find a Wiggles link right now but here is a you tube link that will give you the idea of the song.

Baby Bug and I were singing away, doing all the motions (yes, while I was driving expertly) and then we came to “Tall One”. You know, the middle finger? So I’m singing away and we stop at a stop light and there I am wiggling my middle fingers at everyone stopped across the intersection. Immediately, I realized that people were watching me and I looked like I was flipping them the bird in a I’m-super-happy-and-on-crack sort of way. I guess that’s better than road rage but I’m sure everyone who saw me thought I was either a mom or completely whacko.

Speaking of Whacko… this struck-over-the-head-with-reality feeling reminds me of the time I was strollering down Pacific Coast Highway describing to my mom on my cell phone how Toby thinks eating puffed up cranberries in baked goods can sometimes seem like popping bug abdomens in your mouth.

I’m so tacky like that. Blabbing away, completely ignorant to all the people around me. Well, right when I got to the part about squishing and squirting, my cell phone connection cut off and there I was standing at a cross walk talking to the air. And THEN I noticed there were other people around me, also waiting for the crosswalk light to change, who were staring at me and hanging onto every word. Ugh. I need a lobotomy.

WHICH REMINDS ME OF ANOTHER THING! I addressed a Christmas card to an old friend (who has seriously been married like five years or something) with her maiden name and THEN I signed it “Toby and Brenda and Brenda”. Sorry Baby Bug. Mommy is officially losing it. Ga-dunka dunk dah. I’ll be here all week.

That is all the stupidity material I have for today but if you enjoyed that, stay tuned. I’m sure there is way more where it came from.


  • Kaili

    I have totally done the exact thing with the “where is thumbkin” song while driving. Yikes!
    I think your tags are great, but I think you are selling yourself short, they are too cheap!

  • Kuky

    “flipping them the bird in a I’m-super-happy-and-on-crack sort of way” Ha ha ha ha! I loved following your train of thought from one subject to another.

    And I don’t think you need a super tough envelope. I get DVDs in the mail and they always come over perfect, no case or anything, just paper protecting them. And even just plain letters or I should say bills come without a fold in them. How in the world does the post office do that?!

    The only time I get banged up mail is when I don’t check the mail everyday. Then the postal worker is probably pissed that our box is so full and jamming it in there all angry.

  • Beth Terry

    Hi. Glad you decided not to wrap your cute gift tags in plastic! I just checked out your stuff on Etsy. Wow! I love Etsy and was planning to write a blog post about it. I’ll remember to mention your recycled toys. Now if you could just find a non-plastic way to package Baby Bug’s wrapping paper. Natural cellulose bags? They might cost more but then you could charge more. I think environmentally conscious buyers would spring for it.


  • Kathy

    How does Toby know what popping bug abdomens in your mouth feels like? Just wondering… ;) And P.S. tell him I can never eat another cranberry

  • JennyC.No3

    Heehee – I laughed about the cranberry story and can totally relate. 1) I have a habit of things like that happen and 2) my brother-in-law and i usually say eating fresh blueberries in baked goods feels like popping a pus pimple in your mouth. I know, completely disgusting but we always stick to our guns.

  • Carrie

    Mike totally dies every time they sing where is Tall One. You’d think he’d get used to it by now. We are like the number one Wiggles fan, or something. Better than Doodlebops at least.

  • Katie

    Ohhh, I remember “Where is Thumbkin” from when I was a little girl! Hilarious that you were wiggling your middle finger at everyone :)

  • cc

    Long live the Wiggles!!!!! And the Doodlebops!!!! And Hannah Montana!!!! And…..Wait I think I’ve subjected you to enough with just the Wiggles. Though we l;ove us the Disney stuff. From Hilary and Lindsey to Ali and AJ.

  • Island Mummy

    I am eagerly waiting for the alphabet cards. Will they be available soon?
    Also, just an idea. Have you thought about doing Christmas cards?
    Maybe for next year?
    I am sure you would sell them, your designs are so great!

    If the alphabet cards are not going to be out for a while I will order my gift tags
    sooner, otherwise I would wait and order them together…

  • Wendy

    The Christmas card story cracked me up. Two years in a row I have gotten “funny” Christmas cards from the same friend. The first year we got a card written to Shelly & Dave (our names our Wendy & Brett). The second year she signed their names with my son’s name. I never had the heart to tell her as I know, it all comes with the territory of being a very, busy, often-times distracted, mom! :)

  • Erin

    No worries about the maiden name thing. My dad sent my husband and me an anniversary card on our 1st wedding anniversary addressed to Mr and Mrs. Erin Brown…which was my maiden name. I kept the card AND the envelope for a scrapbook. Mistakes like that the cards more memorable!:)

  • bethany actually

    You know, Annalie has never cared for the Wiggles. Can’t say I mind much. But we do love us some Veggie Tales Silly Songs!

    (Yes, I know I commented once on this entry already. So sue me.)