Moody Blues

I should be sent to my room

Wow. It’s been an ugly couple of days for me. I am so not proud of how I’ve handled myself. Not that I’ve shared it here but you can read between the lines (Or ask Toby). I guess I could blame it on pms but I hate using that as a cop out. I’m a better woman than that. I can handle my emotions…. sorta, except when people piss me off or I’m hungry or tired or …awake. I wonder why God made us cycle through this? I’m sure the hormones are doing more than just keeping the reproductive organs functioning. I bet it’s part of survival. Perhaps we need to be unhappy for spells so we are forced to make changes. I always come out on the other side of these things feeling like a better person. But it sure is sucky in the meantime. Ups and downs. Ups and downs… it’s just the way life is.

I’m not doing so well without the camera. I didn’t realize how much I used it as a blogging tool. I almost said “crutch” but I don’t really view photography that negatively. I guess I just want to say, my hats off to you writerely bloggers. You have to summon up entertainment out of your own brain for every post. I just take pictures and let them tell me what to write.

Life without a camera has been slowing me down as well as twitter. Twitter is great for me because I love writing in little 140 word blurbs but it also makes me feel incredibly boring sometimes. I mean how many times can I write that I’m eating a waffle or doing dishes? Snore. Snore. Snoresville.

I’m thinking about going out to the sticks. I know I should stay home and do something for mother’s day but I know Toby has nothing planned and I don’t feel like planning something myself. My mother-in-law has an eating disorder (physical not mental) and so that crosses out going to brunch or anything like that. I should plan something nice like a boat ride or I have no idea. I’m soooooooo uninspired. I just want to bang my head on the counter.

What am I doing? I told myself no more of this behavior that I’m ashamed of! Aaagh! Okay. Typing typing typing. I am a happy camper. The sun is shining. The dishes are done. If I don’t look too hard I don’t see the crud in the grout of my kitchen counter tiles. See! I swear my brain is wired wrong some days. Can’t finish a single paragraph without going down to the negs.

I think I’ll just stop and say HAPPY WEEKEND and HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY and aren’t you glad you aren’t hanging out with me lately! See you on the flip side with a smile on, I promise.


  • Kathryn

    Hey… Here’s a pick me up… You and I are both avidly awaiting the release of the same video camera, and during my last check of amazon… It seemed to me that it is NOW AVAILABLE for purchase.

    Maybe the broken camera intersecting with Mother’s Day is simply the Universe’s way of telling you to treat yourself!

    (hope my suggestion doesn’t raise your husband’s ire too much!)

  • jeanetta

    if you want to feel good about being a mother and a woman and just all the things that make us us, then you need to read this post from jen at earth angles toys. i felt like a queen after reading it. and i have those god-awful days too and feel sooo guilty after them. i’ve started giving out warnings…. like just so you know i am starting to pms so if i bite your head off i am sorry. my husband really appreciates the heads up. anyway here is the link to jen’s post.

  • erika

    Hugs. You’re not supposed to be happy happy joy joy all the time. That’s just sick and wrong. So work through your emotions and just relax or handle it how you want.

    This girl will keep handing out the hugs, reading your words and checking out your photography.

    Oh, and that camera looks SWEET!

  • Texas T-bone

    I bet the one or two people who still read my blog every once in a while would wish I’d take more pictures and write less.

    Sadness, pain, distress … kind of like a bumpy road. If all of it was smooth, you’d never really be able to tell unless there were some rough patches. Sheesh, I should be writing for Hallmark, eh?

  • Gramma

    Over three and a half years ago I just happened to take a class sponsored by the Community College. It was titled “Memoirs and Other Fiction.” The group got along so well that we’re still together, meeting once a week to encourage, inspire and critique each other. The saddest of the group just drifted away with their sorrows, the hardships they couldn’t seem to overcome or let go. Those remaining had troubles, too. But, they focused on the good times, the happy occasions, the successes instead of the failures. And in so doing, have put together some wonderful memories to pass down to family. They’ve created some beautiful poetry: pantoum, haiku, sonnets and free verse. You’ll be surprised when you concentrate on creating something simple and beautiful. Without the down times, how could you enjoy the ups fully?

  • bluejaye

    PMS is proof that God is a man, because no woman would have invented this. Twenty-five percent of our lives are devoted to this. And it doesn’t get better. Just wait for menopause and the sweats. All winter I am down to my underwear and everyone else is wearing a coat in the house!

  • ms. sizzle

    everyone’s pretty much already said it but, this current state of emotion doesn’t define you. it’s hardest when we don’t even want to hang out with ourselves, you know?

    i hope you have a great weekend!

  • Beck's Mom

    Hey woman! Get to the beach and feed stale crusts to the sea gulls. Then fly a kite. At least that’s the escape I’m dreaming about as I brace myself to collect dog poo off the back “lawn” (degenerated to a collection of grass clumps, bare spots, and weeds) before mowing. The gophers’ hills & pits and dog diggings add extra challenges, but I know my mental health will improve by the time I start watering.

    Happy Mother’s Day to you!

  • Bethany

    I’m sorry you’re in a funk. I can relate, and hope you are out of the funk soon. Maybe a trip to the sticks would help–things seem to be so spontaneous and unpredictable there, it would be hard to hold onto any one mood for long. :-) Hugs to you, B.

  • Jessica

    bleh. I’m so sorry you feel so blah. I hope that the rollery coasterness of it all passes soon… And if not, enjoy some alone time, and happy Momma’s Day to you. :)

  • Carrie

    I’m in a PMS place too and I hate it and feel like I am out of control and I don’t know what to do to get in control. We don’t have any plans for Mother’s Day either. I’ve been informed that I’m not Mike’s mother. You have no freakin’ idea how much that makes me want to kill him. Or maybe you do. Not that I particularly want to do anything. Brunch places will be packed and I am happy to just coast along with a hug and a smile, but the sentiment behind the words. Irate is my name!

    Happy mother’s day!

  • deb

    Aw. I wish we were neighbors and I could just loan you my point-and-shoot which I never use and collects dust and there you are without! But it’s probably best that we’re not because you’d be all “Deb. Please, you have got to STOP bringing over cookies and cakes all the time!” It would never work out. ;)

  • LVGurl

    I’d be MORE worried about you if you were supermom to baby bug and working hard, while feeling great and happy ALL THE TIME. That’s just plain weird.

    You doing great and not feeling any differently than most moms.

    Happy Mother’s Day!! :)

  • Heather

    I hope you feel better after a weekend in the sticks. I’ve been in a funk lately, too. It’s hard to shake. BTW, I saw the Wheelybug on your spyglass the other day and wanted to say that I fell for it, too. Ours joined the house last week. My little bug is totally enamored with it. THAT makes me smile, to see her scooting around the house, drifting around corners on those bug casters. Here’s to all the bugs and the moms who love them.

  • OMSH

    I’m not going to post sweet-sweetly-sweetie things. I’m gonna say this. YOU are more than a happy camper. You have insight. You see when you’re on a pity party and you see when you’re whining. You also KNOW when you are being strong and when you have persevered.

    You are a rock – and you stand on a strong foundation.

    I hope you do go to the sticks.
    And borrow that camera.
    Take pictures and enjoy your mind’s eye working again.