A random Bug update

trying to get back to venus

I think it’s time for a Baby Bug update. I have no idea when I last posted one outside of our daily adventures but there are a few things that people have asked about that I should address in a post.

First is potty-training. I guess I never really posted about it because it was just such a non-event. Weird, I know, but that’s really how it happened. I was so afraid of potty-training that I just waited forever to actually do it. We had all the necessary accessories: the little green potty, the Dora potty seat, a step stool, books about potty-training, pretty panties…we had it all but it was sort of in her court. If she felt like going potty, she could. I personally was not into it. To me diapers seemed a lot easier than cleaning up pee off the couch.

Then the day after she turned three a lightning bolt struck me in the head and I said, “That’s it! Panties from here on out. Accidents be damned!” Mostly I was just embarrassed to still be taking photos of her in diapers. I’m shallow like that and I could hear the people in my head making jokes about my redneck kid. So that was that. It was more about me being ready than her being ready. I think she could have trained a lot earlier but who knows.

I think we had about three days of accidents all over the house and then it just clicked with her. She runs off and uses the potty without even telling me now, which is nice and then sometimes not so nice when I discover a mountain of toilet paper in the bathroom and splatters all over the floor. She still uses pull-ups for naps and bedtime but I’m sure we can phase them out pretty soon.

We did use the potty chart I posted here at first but it got to be a nuisance after a while with the taking-forever-to-pick-a-sticker routine and the let’s-make-potty-time-a-super-fun-party-while-Daddy-tries-to-work-in-his-office-right-next-door antics. So when she forgot about it, I didn’t remind her and now the chart is mysteriously gone. She’s asked for candy a few times for going potty but she asks for candy every five minutes anyway. We’re using it as a “teachable moment” and learning all about the word “no.”

So that’s that. I have no secrets in the potty-training department. I’d have to say my best advice is to put it off so long that your kid pretty much trains herself.


Next up: School. I never thought I’d sign her up for a second session of preschool but I have. In fact, it’s the best thing. She only goes one day a week still and I feel like that is perfect for us. I get some much-needed down time and she gets to go to school and hang out with all her friends. She loves school now.

When the last session ended I asked a friend of mine whose mom works for the school if Bug could possibly be moved up to the next class. I know a lot of you felt like maybe Bug was over-stimulated and that caused her tiredness and subsequent melt-downs but I had the feeling it was the opposite.

We deal with a lot of chaos in our life (like visiting Camp Chaos regularly) and school seemed to be way on the other end of that spectrum. I thought maybe she was bored. Since a lot of the kids in her old class were much younger than her and way less talkative, I had a feeling that she was seeking out her teachers’ attention via crying and carrying on. That’s what she does with me anyway.

I guessed right because now that she is in the older kids’ class, she is happy as a clam. She follows the other kids around and adores her teachers. I’m so happy too. She comes home with new songs and funny crafts. I think they do a lot in the next class up and that is a good thing. Or maybe she just got used to it and realizes that crying isn’t going to get me to come rescue her. Either way I think preschool is here to stay.

my morning girl

What else…I think that’s pretty much it. We just do our daily routines and try to adjust when things change. She’s slowly giving up her one nap a day but I knew that was coming. On days that she skips, I look forward to an early bedtime, which is nice.

As many of you know, I co-sleep with Bug (Yes, I still do. The horror!) and my biggest problem is that when I put her down at night, I often (like 100% of the time) fall asleep too. I try to stay awake. I count to one hundred, I pray for everybody I can think of, I write blog posts in my head…I do it all but nothing works. I always fall asleep. Setting an alarm for myself is no hope either because when I do fall asleep, it’s a deep sleep and waking me up in that first REM cycle is like trying to swim from the bottom of the ocean to the top. I can’t even stand up straight. What can I say, I’m a morning person. I do not do nights well.

That said, I don’t really want to go to bed at eight o’clock either. I’m granny, but not that granny. I have to get my laptop time in sometime. So on those days that she skips her nap, and I’m missing my laptop like it’s air to breathe, I’m very happy because she takes about seven seconds to fall asleep at night and I magically stay awake. Of course, I’m still sort of a dud by then and spend most of my late-night hours cruising the net and getting nothing done but at least I still feel like I have some time to myself. Otherwise I think I would go insane.

I know at some point I will just have to close the door and say, “Sorry kid. It’s time for bed,” and that will be that. I also intend to enforce some “quiet time” during the day where she will have to stay in her room and read books or something. But I’m still a weenie about enforcing that. Also, I still really like cuddling with her.


  • Gry

    Aw, we co-sleep too! Still! For the longest time I had to stay with C while she fell asleep but after she was put to bed by her grandma once she just had to be tucked in – heaven! I really don’t know what clicked for her but I feel blessed, heh. On the flipside, C has never napped on a regular basis.. And then again, she sleeps for a full 10-11 hours every night. Ah, just got to love how different every child is!

  • Megan

    do you have wi-fi? Will she still fall asleep if you bring the laptop in the bed while you lie down with her?
    Something that has worked well with a kid I look after (who is the worst sleeper I have ever met) is transitioning sloowly into the sleeping on your own thing… then you don’t have to be the enforcer so much. They lie down with her for ten minutes and then sit in the room with her until she falls asleep and have now transitioned to where they can sit in the hall while she falls asleep after the 10 minute snuggle.
    Love reading your site by the way Bug is such a cutie and you are such a cool Mom!

  • haitian-american family of three

    We put A. to bed in her bed at 7pm every night and around 5 am she gets in bed with me and snuggles until we wake up. Its works for me because I get to stay up later, and sleep alone and also have that nice lovely time to kiss my babes cheeks.
    My girl has also given up naps, we do “quiet time” where she is in her room/bed for a hour (!!!) reading or coloring quietly. I plan on keeping this quiet time going until she is ohhhhh 18 or so. I love the photos of bug! I saw some of your design work on another site and thought, HEY! That is SAJ’s work! and it was! GOod job lady!

  • Lauren

    As a knitter I have to say I love bug’s Monkey hat! Is that a handknit or did you buy it from a store? I might have to try and re-create that pattern! TOTALLY adorable…just like bug :)

    SAJ says: Isn’t it cool?! We love it. My friend Jen made it for Bug. She sells a lot of her knitting and crochetting in her Etsy shop.

  • Sam

    Good for you, for figuring out the preschool dilemma! I’m so happy that Bug is having a good time at school.

    It’s a relief to hear from another co-sleeper – it can be frustrating! (I don’t fall asleep with T, but usually end up taking him to my bed an hour or so after he first goes to sleep – very difficult to slip away from the 2nd time. ) I’m a sucker for cuddling, too, but we’re also working on night weaning, which is SO MUCH FUN. I kept thinking this would get easier as he got older and could understand the concepts, but not so much, so far. Sigh. Good luck with Bug.

  • SWMama

    I really appreciate your approach to potty training. We’re well over a year away from that, but it’s nice to think about how it might work…

  • Emily

    I’ve written once before about preschool and I wanted to write again to say we co-sleep too! My son is almost 3 and school is starting potty training. I agree – diapers seem easier.
    Sleep sweet….

  • Julia

    I did the same thing with potty training. my boys would ask to use the potty but I would tell them they weren’t old enough yet. on their third birthday they got underwear and we never looked back. probably a weekend of accidents before they figured it out. I think the waiting is the key. and making it a “big girl”/”big boy” event helped also.

  • Kara

    We co-sleep and we transitioned to “falling asleep without Mommy in the bed too” at around 3ish. We started really slowly changing the nighttime routine with me just getting up and coming back quickly without Henry getting out of bed and coming along too…. I’d need to turn the light off, or go potty, or whatever. I left and came back quickly and over a period of weeks that “I’ll be right back” got longer and longer, to where most of the time he was falling asleep before I got back. And then one night I said, I think you can go to sleep without me right here and he said “Okay” and that was that.

  • BeachMama

    I love hearing stories about how things just ‘click’ with kids. I had that happen for quite a few things with J. Big boy bed, potty training, walking. I fear that it won’t be the same with Apple and wonder if I keep her going it will all fall into place one day like it did for her brother.

    And co-sleeping. Absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. I love it when J comes in and snuggles up to me to keep warm and when his soft little hand clings to my neck while he sleeps. Hubby is the one who ushers him back to bed, but if he snuggles close enough to me, then he gets to stay.

  • Ana D

    I co-sleep with Emma too, I had been feeling like a bad mom for not teaching my baby how to be more “independent” (if you can achieve that with babies) but I also love cuddling her, I never fall asleep at the same time she does, but, some nights, I could move her back to her crib but I don’t because I just love having her around and looking at her sleeping (sound kind of creepy… hehe).

    Nice update!… Bug is growing pretty fast and she’s looking even cuter!

  • Gayle

    I didn’t co-sleep with any of my kids, but i kind of wish I did. They grow up so fast so I think it’s great to enjoy all of the cuddling time you can when they are little!

  • beck

    It’s funny, we started out sleeping in different beds for like the first year and a half. We both got more sleep that way. And now I’m loving having her in bed with me starting at some point in th emiddle of the night. I love the closeness and waking up to a happy toddler saying, “hiiiiii mommyyyyyy!”

  • Anna-b-bonkers

    I can’t imagine closing the door and walking away yet either, I don’t think I would know how to do it!
    Ethan is still with us in bed and Kaitlyn decided about a month ago that she was a big girl when she got a new really big bed. However I still go in and lay beside her stroking her hair until she falls alseep…or until I do.

    Potty training. I totally agree! I have a friend with three boys and she taught me that if you wait until around the age of 3 they will train themselves and have less accidents.
    Apparently if some kids are rushed they take forever to train because they are going through such a huge learning and sensory stage that the potty is the last thing on their mind.

    Anyway, someone might have said all this before but I didn’t have time to read.

  • Mrs. Wilson

    I’m totally the close-the-door-good-night-kid kind of parent – but I’m a night owl and I’m not a fan of co-sleeping – not in general, I think it’s a great idea that works for lots of people, I just don’t like being touched/kicked when I’m sleeping. I’m selfish like that :)

    Kaylie wasn’t potty trained until she was at least three – I think she was three-and-a-half before we said good-bye to diapers. I completely agree with you on the “diapers seemed a lot easier than cleaning up pee off the couch” – it’s exactly why we’re waiting to train Liliana! That and I’m lazy.

  • bethany actually

    I had to laugh at Jen’s comment about being a close-the-door-good-night-kid kind of parent, because that is the kind of child I was and it is the kind of parent I would PREFER to be…but somehow God didn’t get that memo and I got a child who would like to be in direct contact with another human at all times while sleeping. Ah well.

  • kiki

    I guess I didn’t feel like I had much of a choice to potty train my 2nd at 28 months old. (nearly 2 1/2) He just kept taking his diaper off any time he used it. I was tired of cleaning poo and pee off the couch. So we started potty training! I agree that the “I’ll be right back” method has worked for us. As soon as we got this potty training thing down, we will start it with this one. You are a great Mom! Bug is a lucky girl.

  • Jennifer

    I don’t know why I am having such a hard time getting some underwear on Audrey. I think if I put them on her she would get the potty training right away. There always seems to be something else going on that makes me say, “We’ll deal with accidents tomorrow.” Be sure to harass me daily until I get some underwear on my kid :P

    SLEEPING. I’m glad you’re getting to a schedule that gives you a little more free time. None of my kids like anybody any where near them while they sleep. I do like all the free time for myself but sometimes I wish that I could cuddle with them more. I still give Molly a night time bottle just so she will hang out in my lap a while, but she’s starting to push that away and points to her crib like, “Lady, will ya just let me go to sleep?” I’ve been having baby fever, can you tell?