Missing Toby

gloomy tuesday

Okay. I admit it. I think we are finally missing Toby. The fun of eating out at restaurants that Toby doesn’t like and moving furniture around (something Toby hates) has run out. The mice are bored now.

talking to Daddy on the phone

I think I realize why divorce and separation is so hard on kids now. I am the major care giver in the family but you wouldn’t believe how many times Baby Bug has asked for Toby. Every time we come home from an errand or a walk to the beach, she runs back to his office to see if he is there. Every time she is disappointed.

Yesterday, I left the phone on the couch accidentally and she found it. I heard her beeping the buttons and saying, “Are you there Daddy?” into the phone. It nearly broke my heart. He may not change her diapers or help with bath time or even read her stories at night but he is a huge part of her life. She really misses him.

It’s getting harder and harder for me to think of ways to explain that he won’t be home for a while. Does she understand “a few days”? Does someone who counts by skipping from five to thirty understand how long “six more night-nights” is? I don’t know.

I think it’s mostly my fault. I need to get out and do stuff and keep us busy. But you know how it is… pajamas are so cozy when nobody cares what you wear all day long.