The Great Duck Rescue Face-plant

Monday, I was walking my dogs and there was a malard duck in the middle of the street. It’s a pretty busy street so I was worried about the duck. But also it was early morning so it wasn’t as busy as it will get as the day goes on. I decided that I needed to rescue the duck because a few years ago Bug and I watched a mama duck and her babies get stuck in traffic and much to our horror, one little duckling didn’t make it.  While we screamed helplessly in the car, it was crushed under a wheel right in front of us. We’ve been traumatized about ducks ever since.

I decided to slowly walk my dogs out into the middle of the street to hopefully scare the duck to the other side to safety. Unfortunately, the dogs interpreted my actions to be that we were hunting the duck and not rescuing the duck so of course they got very excited. The closer we got the more excited they got and suddenly Cody lurched forward, pulling me down with him.

The dogs got loose and ran after the duck. 

I fell to the ground on my knees first, then my palm and then my forehead and nose, like a rolling tripod. Now my dogs were running free in traffic, leashes flailing behind them. It was the most horrible thing ever. I got up and ran after my dogs and managed to get them. A car slowed down to see if I was okay but since I was up and running they sped on by.

I managed to catch my dogs and hobbled home. No broken bones, just skinned up knees, an egg on my forehead (that hides under my bangs) and a scraped up nose. I think the effects of adrenaline got the best of me by then. I teared up but made it home and patched myself up.

Now I’m walking around with a large surface gash on my nose and my knees are giant healing scabs. I try not to complain but I think I complain all day. Face-planting onto asphalt is hard when you are almost fifty! My whole upper body was sore all week and I’m still creaking around like I’m 100 years old. Anyway, I thought I’d share since photos of me have been popping up looking a little worse for wear.

I am fine though!

Moral of the story: Don’t rescue ducks. We’ve walked that same route everyday for a year and every day since the great duck rescue, the duck has showed up near the scene of the face-plant, completely unharmed and apparently not needing rescue. I think he must have a brood nearby or something.

New Year, New You, With Spots!

splotchy

We all knew there was too much pressure on 2021.

(I’ll skip talking about politics because even though it’s a huge big deal that’s not what I do here.)

I started the new year out with SPOTS! Woo Hoo!  I had an ear infection on Christmas. Payam pulled major strings with his mad phone skills (that’s what he does all day for his job) and called my doctor for me while I pulled on my ear like a baby and tried to sleep with hot compresses. The doctor came through with a super strong prescription for antibiotics, probably from his cabin in Aspen or moonlighting at the local ER as a superhero, and I started off the new year with meds!

Nine* days into my prescription to Amoxicillin, my earache was long gone but I broke out in hives and tried to itch my skin off. I’m so glad I shared on instagram even though it was TMI because people came out of the woodwork to say that the same exact thing happened to them. What a relief to be able to narrow this allergic reaction down so quickly. I had a lot to work with: pet dander from an over-achiever golden retriever who sheds enough to knit sweaters daily, a new bra from China that I failed to wash before wearing, msg in all that take-out… There were a million things I could be allergic to, mold, plants with gnats, politics, stress, Google… All of the above?

Anyway it was craaaaaaazy! I’m already a sort of nervous person to begin with. When I have anxiety I become obsessed with my rough cuticles and any little itch or bump on my body so add in some hives and I was literally crawling out of my skin. I hate to take naps but I dosed myself with Benadryl and tried to sleep it away. I’ve been asleep for the past four days. It was the only way to cope.

Monday morning hives started forming on my lips and mouth so I freaked out and went to the ER even though it’s the last place on earth I want to be right now. Thankfully at six in the morning our local ER was not over-flowing with COVID patients. I got in quickly. They gave me a shot of Benadryl in my tattooed arm and I slept. Then the ER did get busy (It’s heart breaking. The doctor checking on me was so stressed out.) and since I was not going into anaphylactic shock they discharged me with some steroids and I went home. I’m really thankful. That could have been a lot worse.

I stood behind an old women in line when I checked in who was obviously suffering from breathing problems. The halls were filled with nurses wearing full head gear and dividers were set up keeping rooms separate…even though our little ER is really nice and new, I could tell they had been in the trenches and were effectively bracing for more.

Now I’m all pumped up on steroids and feeling like Trump (gross, I know). My spots have faded into softer versions of themselves. I probably look like I’m covered in bruises but they don’t hurt and they are only on parts of my body that don’t show so I don’t care. No itching is heavenly!

Hill-Hike-2021

So just a quick new year check in from me! Sorry it’s so personal when so many other more important things are happening in the world.

Happy 2021! I don’t think I’m going to do a calendar this year. I’ve started several. But I really want to do a different format. I hardly use the full page full of boxes layout anymore. Do you? I want to make a day planner but I have not found a template that lets me customize the art on every page and I really don’t feel like formatting 356 pages. There’s got to be something out there. I know I’m a million months too late but who knows, work might get slow again.

How are you doing my faithful loyal internet friends? Cathy, Gingermog and Susan and a few other lurkers who comment now and then? How do you even find me anymore? I don’t deserve you.

I’ve been writing snail mail letters to friends lately and it’s really been helpful. It’s funny how a phone call or a text just doesn’t do it for me but pounding out a two-page letter is incredibly therapeutic. Blogging after all these years is still my therapy. Thank you.

*I missed a few days and I’m terrible at math.