cluttercore, balloon antics and punk style

postcardbiznaz1

Every inch of my office is filled with knick knacks, art supplies and miscellaneous detritus from about fifty projects I have going on. And all of those projects are personal projects and not even paying gigs! I don’t know why but I am the clutter queen lately.

I recently stumbled upon the hashtag: “cluttercore” (type it into your instagram search bar and see what happens) and nothing has made me feel more pigeon-holed than that term. Clutter is oozing out of me in every way right now. It’s in my art, it’s in my home-decorating, it’s in my closet …I think it might be a defense mechanism against the crazy world I’m getting old in.

I don’t love it. It’s just how things are right now.

postcardbiznaz2

I’ve been making recycled postcards for months now. Have I blogged all the postcards I make? I don’t think I have but they are all over the place (half mailed, half on my desk, some framed…) so I don’t see a collective blog post happening anytime soon.

I like to take recycled bits and make art out of them. My latest craze is painting chip board black and then doodling all over it. I’ve also been painting funny hat ladies and gluing bits of fruit mesh bag on the hats to look like veils… I’m not posting any yet (although there is a peek of one above) because I think they are crap. But I think I will get some good ones soon.

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In other news, Bug and I took a long walk (off a short dock) to take some pictures for her instagram feed.

the-1k-shoot

Bug had this idea that we’d buy some mylar balloons to say “1K” and pose with them for her 1000th instagram photo. Not 1000 followers but her 1000th post. I thought that was cool and since I’m always up for a photoshoot, I was happy to oblige. Not to mention I could use the steps. So we walked and we walked and we walked all over the nearby bird sanctuary and I think I took about 1000 photos. Not really, I took 300-something but it felt like 1000.

So many photos!!! You know what’s hard to do in the afternoon when the wind kicks up? Get two balloons to face the right way.

stupid-balloons-2

Those balloons were our nemesis. They went every which way but the right way. It’s too bad we weren’t trying to post something about “K1” because that was a winner.

stupid-balloons

Of course we got our shot (you’ll have to check her feed to see them) but we also got a lot of shots like this. Balloons have a personalities of their own and they are jerks.

toocool

And speaking of personality, Bug never disappoints.

miss-thang

She’s going through a self-described punk stage. I’m down for it. She wears eyeliner and fishnets and underwear over her clothes. Payam and her dad hate it, naturally. But I think it’s cool. I’m also picking up a lot of new musical interests because of her. Kids are awesome at that. She makes me playlists and fixes my phone when I forget how it works. So yeah… that’s my news lately.

Crickets

I just wanted to pop in here in the spirit of the way I used to write and post a little update on my mental health. Things have been hard. But haven’t they been hard for everyone? I think we are all suffering PTSD from 2020 and worried 2021 is going to serve up another regular daily diet of fear. I’m not going to check myself into a mental hospital or anything and I’m still eating and sleeping and taking care of my kids like a normal functioning human being, but it’s just been a little hard.

Something that has helped me: crickets.

We have new neighbors. They are renters. They are here on a tennis scholarship. They are from Belgium, Germany, Spain and a few other places I don’t remember. There’s five of them I think. They are also full-on ravers. If I wasn’t trying to sleep I would actually really dig the music the deejay of the group spins nightly. He’s really good. Like Avicii good. Even though I can only hear the base and a few other rhythms, I catch my mind listening interested. Unfortunately, they are hot-blooded males driven by their animal instincts and not the fear of covid that I am and their nightly raves involve lots of people (girls) coming over to party. Thankfully the raves are reserved for Friday nights, I think… we’ll see if it kicks up again tonight. So when they open the door for a smoke break or for someone to puke, it’s super loud and difficult to sleep through.

I don’t hate them though. Payam has talked with them and asked them nicely to turn down the music and they do. Sometimes they only turn it down from a ten to and eight but they do listen. We have their cell numbers and they always apologize the next day. So we don’t hate them. They are just kids.

But what I’ve learned to do to help this situation is to use a white noise app on my phone. I’ve used white noise lots of times but recently I’ve really enjoyed the sound of crickets. It’s so weird and cool. I turn them on and I’m immediately transported back to my trailer-living days in the sticks. It’s night, the air is warm and dry. It’s dark outside but I can see my tomato garden in the moonlight. I’m laying in bed with Bug snuggled next to me and Holly, the dog is sleeping at my feet. Her tail thumps when I say her name.

Even though the days that I lived in the sticks were super scary and stressful (you remember them, you read them. Hello, meth head neighbors…) I have a lot of fond memories. Even the cockroaches that scurried in all directions when I lifted an old rotted piece of plywood in the backyard brings back good memories. Yes, it was terrible at the time but I survived and I found strength in my desperate situation. I know I will find strength in my new desperate situation. I rest in that thought and gently fall asleep.

Isn’t that cool? Who knew crickets could bring that out in me? I love the sound of crickets. I bet everyone has a sound like that, that transports them to another time. It’s kind of like how smell transports us back to our Grandma’s cooking. Nostalgia. We love nostalgia. All the trauma of the past is hidden and we remember the good times with a warm happy glow.

I’m curious. Does anyone else find funny memories flooding back when they listen to different sounds on a white noise generating app? Please share. I think I might listen to them all and record my memories. If I don’t fall asleep first!