Bad Mom,  Bug,  crazy stuff

The Sandwiches Story


The other day I was making Bug her usual Peanut Butter and Nutella sandwich. (Yes, I know Nutella has four tablespoons of sugar in one spoonful. Gah!) Bug was sitting on the counter next to me, watching and chattering on as she is wont to do.

Everything was going along fine until I got to the cutting part. I cut the sandwich in half and then was about to cut it in half again to make four small triangles when she burst out crying, saying that I wasn’t doing it right. She didn’t want four little triangles. She wanted BIG triangles like her cousin Rapunzel makes.

Sheesh! Kids are so demanding. As if sandwich shapes makes them taste different.

What could I do? One half was already cut? I did what any mother would do. I pretended the big triangle was the mommy sandwich and the two little triangles were the baby sandwiches and made them talk to each other as they waddled on their corners along my paper towel work-space onto her plate.

She thought that was grand…until I told her to eat them

Then there were tears.

“I can’t eat them! I don’t want to eat the Mommy and Baby sandwiches!!!” Waaaah waaaah wahhhh waaaaaah!!! Tears, tears, tears. “Make me another sandwich so I can just look at these sandwiches!”

I tried and tried to tell her the sandwiches wanted to go to the party in her tummy but nothing really worked. She was a crying snotty mess—the usual hungry-needing-a-nap-growth-spurt routine of late. I know a lot of parents would just say suck it up or go hungry and I probably should have. But I finally worked it out for her by drawing a sketch of a mommy sandwich and some baby sandwiches that she could keep and that consoled her. Now we have a sketch of sandwiches permanently living in our house.

Lesson of the day: Never anthropomorphize your kid’s food.


  • Sonja

    I’m really, really glad I’m not the only person who has these BRILLIANT parenting inspirations that totally backfire. I can’t even tell you HOW many times in the last year or so I’ve done something in front of Noah/with Noah only to instantly regret it…

  • Madge

    I started to cringe when you began animating the sandwiches, I had a feeling I knew where this was going. I’m with Sonja, I think we all have those moments of doom, where we realize our plans are quickly going down the drain. I think you need to frame the sandwich family.

    Also, don’t forget, THE CRUSTS ARE THE HANDLES!!! :P

  • Jess

    I would have made another sandwich, too. I’ve totally done that. I had to change dinner plans altogether when Ellie fell in love with our dinner. Oops. The next day, however, she was fine with eating it. “It’s just pretend, Mommy,” she said as she rolled her eyes at me.

  • Jessica

    This is hilarious. I’ve been through this so many times with my Ellie (weird that the Jess commenting before me also has an Ellie). Not that long ago I was getting her to eat a few more bites of something by making them talk to her, asking if they could go visit their friends that were already in her tummy (“genius!” I thought). This worked out great until a lightbulb went off in her little head. “oh no!” she sobbed. “I chewed up their friends!! They’re all mush now!!” I think us moms get pretty good at consoling while choking back laughter. It’s part of the job.

  • Calee

    When we went on vacation and ordered Audrey a $3 peanut butter and jelly sandwich– they made it into a butterfly. “I can’t eat the butterfly!!” Every kids’ food at the stupid hotel was transformed into something. Cute, BUT. She ended up eating a lot of bus decorated hot dogs.

  • gabrielle

    that sounds delicious (unfortunately can’t have pb as my daughter is allergic – we just do nutella sammies). but i digress…

    my daughter is almost six and I STILL ask her how she wants her sandwich cut. some days it’s diagonal, some days in half, some days crust, some days in 4 squares. it’s maddening!

    what i’m trying to say: i am there and i feel for you :)

  • Sam

    See, I love PB and Nutella. I used to get a PB and Nutella sandwich as a special treat in my lunchbox on Fridays. I think I ate one every night when I was pregnant. Therefore, I can’t allow Nutella in my house, because I will do nothing but scheme up ways to eat Nutella. Oh, it’s killing me! Nutella, I love you!

  • Kuky

    Hmmmm happily I have not experienced this with Isabelle. But maybe that’s because I’m the pushover type and she just walks all over me and she would have gotten a new sandwich. ;-)

  • Uncle George

    I would have never thought of that. A picture in place of “Eat your sandwich or go to your room!!” like I had when I was her age. B, you are a genius.

  • BeachMama

    You are so smart. I would have been the sucker making another sandwich, then looking at the dried up sandwich on the counter or worse, scolding the dog for eating it and wiping the tears from the devastation of the dog eating their family of sandwiches.

  • Mountain

    I just wandered in here, and thought this entry was a total hoot. I’m a suck it up kind of mom, but I admire your creativity. That drawing is priceless! Especially if you keep it to bring it out when SHE has kids. :)