Bug,  crazy stuff,  domesticity,  raving lunatic rant

Operation Couch Cover: Day 1


Here it is Wednesday and Operation Couch Cover has just now commenced. I’ve been a little disappointed in my productivity while Toby has been gone. I always think I’m going to do a hundred things and then I turn on the style channel and get maybe half a thing done. That and reading Perez Hilton. Whoever turned me onto that site should be shot. I do not need to waste my time keeping up with popular culture!! Why am I so sucked in?!!

The first day Toby was gone I had my nieces over. That was a circus-palooza, which is always fun, but when they left I had three mountains of dishes to do. It’s not like I cooked a lot or I didn’t clean up after we ate or anything. The dishes just magically appeared somehow.

I think when Toby is here, I feel pressured to be the super-wife since he’s the one who writes the checks that pay the bills and all I do is hang out with my adorably cute kid and make sure the house looks nice. Which is no small feat but compared to working all day I do feel like I got the better end of the deal sometimes.

So anyway, I’ve been slackin’! I decided I needed a kick in the pants and I started a little competition with Bethany Actually. (Sorry, it is link fest with us today, her linking me and me linking her… I try not to but she is a stalker and she seeps into my life through the cracks!) We made a pact that we could not sign onto instant messenger until we had each completed three chores.

I thought, Hah! I’ll kick her butt. I can do five chores before I sign back on!

my little ballerina poser

So I did the dishes, vacuumed, emptied the cat box AND sewed a ballerina costume for Baby Bug (which totally counts for two I think). Take that Bethany! Who’s the Super Mom now?

a little interpretive dance?

You know where this is going. Bethany took our little competition one step further and didn’t sign on all day long. She was so productive, she didn’t crack open her laptop until after the dinner dishes were washed up and her kid was in bed. Phooey! So that’s how you’re gonna play?!!

Then, after she listed off the fifteen things she did, she had the nerve to leave for five minutes. When she came back she typed nonchalantly, “Oh, I walked away to make some lemon scones.” LEMON SCONES!!! Are you kidding me? From scratch, I’m sure. Excuse me, while I go whip up a turkey dinner with gravy!

Good times with the instant messenger. You just gotta do what you gotta do to get through the day right? If anyone is wondering why you never see me on instant messenger, it is because I always stay invisible. I’m there, I’m just hiding. Like a spy, get it? I have enough discipline not to advertise to people to talk to me but not enough discipline to shut the whole thing off.


But let’s get back to the ballerina costume. Don’t you just want to eat Baby Bug up like a wispy puff of cotton candy? You’re probably thinking, “How cute! She wants to wear her costume all day long.” Or maybe you’re thinking, “That little ballerina doesn’t look very happy.” Well, those of you who thought the latter would be right.

She actually didn’t want anything to do with her costume I sewed for her. It was “yucky” she said. I don’t know, maybe because it’s not green? Whatever. I was repurposing what I had and that’s what she got. The next day, I made her wear it all day long. I’m such a mean mom. We walked around all of Ikea like that and the laundromat too!

all she needs is a fake tattoo

She didn’t really mind the tutu so much on the second day but she was pretty grumpy. You might notice her eyes look a little bit puffy, like maybe she’s been crying. She has. She’s cutting her eye teeth and they really hurt. She’s been lucky with teething most of her little life and never really suffered like most kids do. But these teeth, they must really hurt. She’s been rubbing her gums and sucking on her pacifier and drooling like crazy. Her nose is running… I don’t know if she has allergies or a cold or if it’s just caused by teething alone but she’s been a slippery, gooey, snotty, crying mess. Poor kid.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz snorkzzzzzzzzzzz

Then there’s me who is trying to fit too many things in the day. I didn’t plan my trip to Ikea to get the couch fabric early enough and guess who had a ten minute pseudo-nap in the car that blew the rest of the day to hell? Yep. Baby Bug. When will I ever learn? I should have stayed home and watched the style channel.

Even though the thought of her giving up her last nap of the day gives me hives, part of me will be so happy when my day is not cut in half anymore. I either try to fit too much in the morning before her nap and have this happen or I do what I usually do which is: put it off until after her nap and then never get anything done… because late turns into later and next thing you know, the whole dinner routine steam-rollers me.

It just never ends. It’s called motherhood.

I’m not whining. I’m just telling it like it is so that all you non-mothers can get your stuff done now. Well, maybe I am whining a little bit. Which is a great segue back to my couch-covering project

the fabric still life

Behold the FABRIC! Do you see it? Do you see how big it is?!! That is fifteen yards of white canvas stuff. I don’t know the name of it. Bernita or Bitta or Biteayouintheassa. It’s awful unmaneageable stuff. After I washed it and dried it in the super-duper industrial-sized washer and dryer at the laundromat, I hauled it home and wrestled it into submission on my coffee table.

It was like I was trying to fold a sail on a sailboat. It was just me and the perfect storm right here in my own living room. I don’t know how I am ever going to manage to sew on it. It’s not really canvas or denim. It’s thinner but it’s definitely going to be a challenge. I think I must be insane.

couch plan

Obviously, I must have a plan. Hahahahahahahahahah! If you don’t know this about me already, you do now. I’m sort of a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants type. My plan is this: I’m going to cut out shapes (with seam allowance of course, I’m not that dumb) and pin them on the couch. Then I will sew them together. End of plan.


How I’m going to do this with the assistance of a toddler who is obsessed with pinning and un-pinning things, I do not know. We’ve had many a temper-tantrum over my inspiration board lately. I finally gave in and let her play with it. She’s a mature two-year-old. Hopefully, she will not poke her eye out. I know Toby is going to have a cow when he sees her playing with that. I’ll have to formulate some sort of excuse that involves leaving me for weeks on end to single-parent or something mumble grumble…stuff and stuff.


I don’t blame her. Pins are pretty. As you can see, I had fun sticking all my pins into this little tiny tomato pincushion. (That’s productivity right there!) And then I took pictures of it. Ooooh shiny things! Naturally, my daughter is going to want to hold it too. It’s like our very own pet porcupine.


What I’m hoping is that it is a magic pet porcupine and it will help me get my couch covered before Sunday.


  • Sarah

    This post had me cracking up! First, I am NOT clicking on that Perez Hilton link. How dare you put it there to tempt me! Second, I love that you and B.A. are keeping each other going. I have chat friends who help me get through the day too…but maybe I’ll have to find myself a little competition. And seriously, not opening up the laptop, that is some serious competition there.

    I’ve been thinking a lot about what we have to compromise and sacrifice for toddlers. This morning Felix insisted that I have a bowl of cereal too – I really did not want a bowl of cereal but I was willing to do it rather than have a battle. Choose your battles wisely is my philosophy and at the same time asking myself, wait ‘is this really a big deal?’ when it comes to some things. Ah motherhood!

    Can’t wait to see the ‘new’ couch!

  • Kuky

    Isabelle has a beautiful tutu that we got as a present. But she absolutely refuses to wear it. But seeing how adorable baby bug is in her tutu makes me think I must try again before she outgrows it.

    And I hope we always have nap time. I like sleeping but Isabelle is fighting it. This past week has been sooooo hard to get her down. But mama needs her nap.

    And my mouth is open in amazement that you’re going to tackle a couch cover. I have directions on how to do that and am not brave enough to try. I just hide the massive holes and chewed up spots with cushions and blankets (hide them not very well I should say). :)

  • Gingermog

    Good luck with re-covering the sofa. I made a cover for a wooden chair like that once and it worked out ok.

    Julian and I were thinking of building our own sofa, in a morrocan couch kind of style with him building a wooden base and me sewing the cushion pads. We were really up for it, then we realised, were both busy people and it’s never going to get done. We’ve been in our flat one year and we still don’t have a functioning bathroom door and theres a pile of wood in the hall which is going to be shelves and a desk for me one day :)

  • amy

    love the pacts with yr pal!!! So- yeah- I am scared about that couch cover- It makes me shudder to think about making one! I am a newbie sewer…agh!! You rock.

  • JennyC.No3

    Love the tutu! I love those afternoon naps that my little bear takes (she’s 13 months old) and wish i could join in but it’s as if she senses when i drift off and immediately wakes up. Did you sew the tutu to her shirt or is it a stand alone? Great job!

    Also, if you like Perez Hilton, you need to tune in to ‘Pink is the new blog’ at http://trent.blogspot.com/. Trent – The guy that blogs there – is hilarious!

  • Someone Being Me

    I love PerezHilton and TMZ. I also love the tutu. Its times like this that make me really want a girl. So, are you available to come over and do a cover for my ugly plaid couch that has taken up residence in my son’s room?

  • All Adither

    I’m sucked into Perez too. Even though his site is full of misspellings and mistakes and he generally makes me want to vomit. I guess I like to read type-o’s and be nauseated.

  • Faith

    Okay, Perez sucks you in for the same reason he gets me…all that pink!!

    And the couch cover…you are BRAVE. I am working on a quilt that has a pattern and it is making me insane, I am sure that a no pattern couch cover would send me over the edge and straight to the funny farm. (You do know you could probably buy one at Target or Ikea for what you paid for the fifteen yards of fabric right?)

    But I digress. Your powers of domesticity are just making me jealous. I need to get off of the computer and start doing things like sorting through the clutter and making brioche from scratch again. Then maybe Hubby and Toddler would be less clingy at the end of the day and leave me to make out with Perez’s site without any problems!!

  • sizzle

    That’s quite an undertaking but I have faith you will whip up the perfect couch cover. Baby Bug is adorable in her tutu. I wish I could walk around IKEA in a pink tutu!

  • Becca

    I’m so glad to hear that I’m not the only one that too often doesn’t get anything done between naps. My daughter just turned a year old and is still taking two. I cherish nap time when I’m working on stuff at home. But it does complicate the days that I have errands to run and places to be.

  • Janna

    Okay. Seriously.
    That tutu ensemble is BRILLIANT!
    I love that it is a pants onesy. I don’t have kids yet (just friends with kids) and although traditional tutus are sweet and girly, how can you really play when you are concerned that your panties might be showing, or heaven forbid a full diaper…
    You could make a killing off of those!
    I know 4 moms that need one immediately!

  • a madhouse wife

    That Perez link was tempting, but I can honestly say I have enough will power to only read Perez from home. I read the blogs from work.

    And thus, I don’t get anything done at home or work! :)

  • Sarah

    I think Bethany may have 25 hour days, she’s a bit tricky ;-)
    Also – snap! on the pincushion. Mum has that one too, though the strawberry came detached from it many years ago.

  • Tanya

    I’m so impressed with the ballerina costume you put together – it’s very cute!

    Also, good luck on the couch project. I’ve tried recovering a couch before and I gave up and just threw the fabric over it like a blanket.

  • Gramma

    Not so long ago (maybe 50 years or so) I made slipcovers out of charcoal denim for our sofa-hideabed. That sofa along with a cheapie plastic chair furnished (??) our living room in Kailua. Dad decided to build a platform for a double bed sized mattress. In Hawaii they are called Hikiee. I covered it with a lovely denim striped in slim yellow, blue and, gray. Somewhere we found two cot mattresses…cut them into squares and covered them in geranium pink denim. Voila…floor cushions. The leftovers I covered with leftovers for use in the back of our Volkswagen Convertible. How else can you fit in six kids. The baby sat in my lap, The two older girls sat in the back seat, wedging in their brother with tons of crinolines. Obviously the two assigned to the jumper behind the back seat were happy not to have to sit on the scratchy upholstery. Even though slipcovering is challenging, the results always make you happy.

  • Jillian

    Eye teeth are rough. My 19mo is beginning to cut hers and I swear the only thing keeping her out of hysterics is her amber teething necklace. It totally saved us when she got her first year molars, too. Worth a shot if you haven’t tried one yet.

  • BeachMama

    I can’t wait to make a tutu for Apple. I have waited so many years to have a little girl to play with and boy oh boy, will I dress her in a tutu or two :).

    If you have any questions about covering a couch, drop me a note. I have covered two or three or ten… You can sew so it should be pretty easy for you :).

    I love you telling it like it is though. I won’t be clicking on that Perez Hilton button, I get sucked in to watching celeb shows as it is, I must stop.

  • Annabanana

    Aww, I am jealous! I miss msning with you…then again I haven’t been on there in 2 months. I decided to try and get things done too….and haven’t made it back yet.
    I love the photos of BBug she is funny, such a little personality!

  • Becky

    I know that Style channel. I watched way too much of that. And HGTV. I’m glad we don’t have cable now.

  • Jennifer

    “I’m just telling it like it is so that all you non-mothers can get your stuff done now.” Amen Sistah! I just considered your post a PSA for mothers of the future :P

    I haven’t commented in a while. I love the pictures of Bug. I’m sorry she’s having such a time with her teeth. I might be wrong but I think the runny gunky nose is from teething. Everytime Audrey was breaking teeth like that I got the gunk and I’ve noticed the same thing with Molly.

    I took the plunge and restricted Audrey’s paci use to sleepy time only. I thought it was going to be a horrible, horrible battle. She was soooo in love with her “me-me’s” It was so non eventful, I was quite surprised. We leave her paci’s in her crib every morning so the “Me-Me Fairy” can come and clean her me-me. Audrey tucks it under the lovey blanket I knit her. It’s turned into a really cute ritual.

    I’m always invisible on my messenger also. It’s so easy for me to get sucked into conversations through messages. I miss having time to chat though.

  • pinky

    I’m just telling it like it is so that all you non-mothers can get your stuff done now.

    SERIOUSLY. Life is a whole different ballgame, now that I share my days with a little one. Like – today I somehow never got a shower, and it took me at least five hours to get one load of laundry put away. The idea that I am dependent on someone else’s naps to get anything done for the next few years of my life sends cold chills down my spine.

  • OMSH


    and the wtf panel CRACKED ME UP.

    I’m so excited to see where this is going. As you well know I have my own couch to cover. Uggh!