Nearly a whole year later we finally bought a new car for me. It’s very worth the wait. It’s the coolest car ever and of course it’s red, my favorite color. I never had a red car before. I wonder how many speeding tickets I’ll get.
It really is Toby’s car disguised as a new car for me. It’s a race car. It’s fast and has four wheel drive and turbo and tiptronic and a whole bunch of other stuff that sounds really speedy and important. I really wanted Toby to do a guest blog about it because there is no way I can put in words what is so cool about this car. As far as I’m concerned, it looks cool. It’s red and it has pretty tires.
It’s also super smart. It has a giant electronic brain that tells it when to turn on the windshield wipers, when to turn on the headlights, it even has a little screen in the dash that tells me what pedals to push just in case I turned into an idiot. It has all the fixings. I could go on and on but I’m afraid for all the other cars that will get jealous. Please don’t hate me because I have a super duper car.
I haven’t been driving (besides borrowing Toby’s van now and then) since a month before I had Baby Bug. It was just too hard to steer my old car with the enormous belly in the way. After Baby Bug, Toby got the heebie jeebies about his precious baby (and yes, his precious wife too) in my super low to the ground invisible silver Honda Civic that doesn’t have anti-lock breaks or power steering. It’s a great car. Just not so great as a mom car.
Well, now I’ve got the mom car on steroids. I wish I could get a vanity plate that said something like “BADASSMOM” or something with less letters that says: my car can kick your car’s butt. But that might be asking for trouble when I pull up to a light next to the other moms in their mighty SUV’s and soccer team holding minivans. I really can’t drive this car to it’s full capacity. I’m chicken. It is so fast it scares me. I barely pressed the gas pedal a millimeter and I was going 80 in a 40 zone before I even noticed. It’s dangerous. I think I’m going to have to play it cool.
But I can’t wait to show it off to my brother, the mechanic.