Family Matters,  Life Lessons,  Moody Blues

No camp for us

July 1, 2009 /

ancient saguaro

Sigh. My mom is taking my niece Rapunzel up north to a Bible camp in the mountains that I used to attend when I was a teenager. It’s the last year that this camp is going to be held there (the amazing hosts are retiring) and it hurts me that I can’t join them.

I was going to join them. Bug and I were all excited about going “camping.” I couldn’t wait to show her all the things that I remember so fondly from that camp but…it just didn’t work out. There were a few key variables (time, money, a blessing from Toby) that, no matter how we reworked the plans, just weren’t happening.

I could have squeezed it together, borrowed some funds from overdraft (nothing new to me) and probably made it work but I’ve done that too many times. I’ve come to the point in my life where I’m realizing that wanting something really bad isn’t always enough to make it work. I’ve forced trips like this before and come home regretting them.

So we’re not going. It makes me sad. My mom is packing up her SUV (in between about a thousand phone calls from my Dad) as I type this and I know that if I were going I could help her in so many ways. But it just wasn’t meant to be. We’re staying home and having a nice little Fourth-of-July celebration with Toby, just us three. It will be okay.

15 Comments

  • gingermog

    July 1, 2009 at 11:40 am

    (Hugs) I am sorry to hear you are disappointed but I also know tis folly to over stretch the funds. Dang this recession. I have to be a hermit for the next few months too, but there is always the beach (for you) and the park (for me) and presently I am working my way through old Northern Exposure re-runs.

  • Amy

    July 1, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    Such a great admission. I, too, have dipped into overdraft funds just to have it come back and bite me in the arse. Not once, not twice, but too many times to count. At some point I told myself I needed to be an adult and do the right thing. Your weekend will be so much better without the worry/stress/guilt.

  • Jen

    July 1, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    I dip into my overdraft so often that it’s become the norm. I hate it.

    But sometimes a weekend at home with just your little family can be pretty fun too :)

  • a Chris

    July 1, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    I’m sorry to read you’re feeling down. For what it’s worth, I think there’s a lot of merit in the decision you’ve made and I sincerely hope you can enjoy having made it, on some level, but soon. You said it yourself: it will be okay!

  • Mel

    July 1, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    i hope something happens last minute that gives you the opportunity to go, it sounds like it would mean a lot to you. maybe the operators will subsidize you if you write a great story about it after and give it to them as a gift!

    SAJ says: Oh no. I wouldn’t want that. I’ve already been a charity case for years at this camp. They would have let me come to the camp for free and that is beyond generous already. But thank you for your thoughts. It was other variables too like the time and Toby wanting us to be home with him. :)

  • Aunt Kathy

    July 2, 2009 at 8:35 am

    We wil miss you! I will let W and D know that you wished you could have been there. BTW it looks like three of your aunties as well as your mom are going to be there!

  • Erin

    July 2, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Disappointment is one of the hardest things for me to bear. Whether it is surprise disappointment or a gradual “you know it’s coming” kind of disappointment…it takes me quite some time and just the right consolation to get over it. I wish I had some good cheer-up advice, but I think you are just justified in feeling a little blue and mourning a little. Letting yourself be sad is necessary before feeling happy again, I find.

  • Clownfish

    July 2, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Greetings from the desert! Hey B, where did you shoot your blooming cactus? I love it! When ours are blooming I always threaten to grab the 6′ ladder and shoot’em from the top – but then I get lazy :)

  • Anna-b-bonkers

    July 4, 2009 at 7:05 am

    I tried to leave you a message from my phone but realized after typing the whole shebang out that I had written the whole thing in the name spot.

    Anyway…I think I said something along these lines.

    I hoped to get back there some day with our kids. I have such great memories of that place! One of my favourite is of Mike Bowman wearing a dress and getting in huge trouble. Ha, the things that stick with a person! Oh and of course since I had aunt Keren as a councillor that was fun. Anyway I always dreamt that I would someday council kids there myself, guess I would have to go back to meeting and get gathered and all again though.