Beach Bits,  Bug,  place holder posts

Silver Tuesday

silver sea

My schedule is all out of whack. I wake up at 4am and wait for a decent hour to slowly wedge its way in. I toss and turn and finally creep out to the living room to check in on the internet world. Then she wakes up and it’s still dark so I try to convince her it’s not morning yet. It never works. We start our day at 5:30. She wants a banana or two or a bagel with cream cheese or doughnuts or maybe all of them together. I make her eggs and toast. We huddle by the heater and wait for something exciting to happen.

Since nothing exciting is happening we turn on cartoons. Then we take forever to get ready to do anything. Before we know it, it is noon and we have not gone out to do our errands. It’s too late to do anything now that naptime looms so we putz around the house some more. I watch the minutes slowly tick by until naptime. Sometimes she goes down a bit early, sometimes she goes down a bit late. And sometimes, since we were driving home from the sticks, she goes down in the car and completely skips nap.

playing in the low tide

Two o’clock rolls around and since she isn’t sleeping we go to the beach. Why not? There are castles to be built. Pictures to be taken. Journals to be scribbled in. Sand to be collected in rolled-up pant legs and soggy diapers, between our toes and in our hair. We while away the time like locals. We own the beach on a cloudy day. It’s ours. Everyone else is a tourist. We let them borrow our buckets and shovels generously because we know we’ll be back tomorrow and the next day and the next.

swish swish

My stomach grumbles and I know dinner will take over an hour to cook so I drag her from the beach screaming and wailing. Her pants are so soggy and cold I have to peel them off her and still she wants to dig and splash some more. She digs her fingernails into the wet sand like a dog digging to China. Don’t you ever get tired of this? I wonder. I guess not. I guess walking on the beach almost every day of her life has worked. She will always feel at home here. She likes the feeling of sand on her skin.

back and

I always wanted to be a beach girl when I was growing up, stuck inland in a dead-end town that everyone wanted to escape. We dreamed of dating surfers and rollerskating in bikinis. I never thought I’d live here. I never thought my daughter’s birth certificate would have the name of this town on it. She’s my beach girl. My dream came true for her. I wonder if she’ll grow up and move to Montana.

posing for Mommy

After dinner and another bath to wash the sand away, we lie down together and whisper in the dark. No stories tonight. We’re both tired. I shouldn’t have had that second cup of coffee in the afternoon. I’m crashing. But she’s more tired than I am and in seconds I hear her deep breathing. I drag myself out from under the warm covers and pad out to the living room to check on the internet again. Usually I wouldn’t blog. My brain is too dead but these silver pictures wanted to be seen and I know I won’t have time to put them up tomorrow. Another busy day.

a rare cloudy day

It’s raining now. I love the sound of it on the roof. Could it be that winter is finally here? I really hope I don’t wake up at 4am tomorrow.


  • bethany actually

    I love this:

    “Sand to be collected in rolled-up pant legs and soggy diapers, between our toes and in our hair. We while away the time like locals. We own the beach on a cloudy day. It’s ours. Everyone else is a tourist.”

    You really do write melancholy so well. :-)

  • lynne

    Hello my love I hope you sleep more soundly tonight. I’m in a similar place to you at the moment cat napping no more than 4 hrs at a stretch all due to working late every night and probably too much coffee. This ex-beach girl is itching to walk on her home sands and breath deeply even if the clouds were grey and the wind buffets me along- which I would find very exhilarating. Weather is never so intense in the city.

    Somehow your post is a breath if fresh air and I suddenly I am back on the beach. Even if it is close to 0 out there :)

  • Lindsey

    My husband grew up on the beach (Cape Cod, the most touristy of tourist places), and takes the beach completely for granted now. Me, I grew up a few hours from the beach and still can’t get enough of it.

  • (another) bethany

    beautifully written, i could feel your mood and day. wishing against 4am wakeups for you and Bug! Lots of melancholy here too, unable to write or get thoughts in order. Hugs from NY :)

  • Jennifer

    I hope you were able to sleep past 4 a.m. this morning. We get through our days much like this, but there is no beach to run away to. You definitely have a little beach girl on your hands.

    I think we are finally able to say goodbye to summer.

  • Sumiko Yuan

    Exquisite piece, SAJ. I could feel the salty wind whipping around, and the grainy sludge of sand between my toes. So evocative.

  • Mrs. Wilson

    Beautiful. My husband and I went down to San Diego for our honeymoon and spent EVERY day at the beach, even the one day that it was a bit cloudy. I love the beach.

  • KA

    I spent weeks every summer of my childhood on the beaches of Donegal — rain was often horizontal and the wind chill factor was outrageous, but my mother always took a picnic (which we spent a lot of time running after as bits and pieces escaped into the wind) and we bravely took our costumes too. She always said it was warmer to be in the water than out, so in we’d go… She was, of course, wrong. Your post reminded me of those teeth-chatteringly-cold days!

  • Danielle

    Love this post, very inspiring to just let kids play as long as they want to, not always rush rush rushing to the next. Thank you for this beatiful picture of a day in the life. Here’s to sleeping past 4!

  • OMSH

    Now, when I wake up at 4 am the house is quiet. But when I USED to wake up at 4 am there were two kids in bed with me that would wake up if I so much as stirred. And THEY are why I like sleeping in.

    It is all their fault.

    Warm, groovy kind of post. :)

  • cindy

    I love this post. I love the beach photos. The rain kept me up all night, so instead of waking up too early, I went to sleep too late. And then when I went outside today I thought the same thing…winter must be here.

  • bethany actually

    Reading this post again, I am seriously jealous of your Beach Bug. *sigh* I wish Annalie didn’t panic at the very idea of going to the beach. I so want her to love the beach and the ocean. It makes me sad that she doesn’t.

  • jackie

    i never felt compelled to comment before but what a truly, truly wonderful descriptive piece. so amazing for you to be able to share that with your child