The Pesky Post Part 1 Addendum
Ha! It’s three in the morning and I couldn’t sleep. You know why? Because I finally came to some resolution about my pesky post. I kept re-reading it in my mind pretending to be every reader I could imagine and I came to this conclusion. I’m selfish and stupid and I don’t deserve to complain and you all are too nice to tell me this. I know how it is. I know the comment maffia will get you if you dare to say something painfully truthful. So I’m saying it for you.
The upshot of all this is this: It’s fun to save money too. It’s like a game you can play with yourself. So you can’t buy the fancy brand of beans at the grocery store but you can buy the store brand and save 27 cents! Woo Hoo! Twenty-seven cents! I know it’s silly but if it gets me through the day and past the end cap of cute Easter stuffed animals that I want to buy for every little person in my life, then it works. I didn’t buy frozen waffles either because I can make pancakes on the stove for less! Yay Me! I am a rugged pancake making woman! I can play pancake music and have fun!
Whatever, right?
But thank you, thank you and thank you for all the kind and sincere things you all come here to say to me. I would be one sad lost little blogger without you.
19 Comments
Clownfish
And what would we do without you? You’re my pre-work blog fix. Love the pancake music video; it made me smile. Saturday morning is bisquick waffle time for us! (plain, chocolate chip or craisin)
SAJ says: Chocolate chip!!!!
bluejaye
The brand name buttermilk has a great pancake recipe on the carton. Write it on a card so you can buy the store brand next time. I make up a whole recipe that requires a quart of buttermilk, then we can microwave the extras for several days. ONe big effort with lots of rewards.
I avoid Target as much as possible. On Sundays I read all the ads in the paper and write down all the things I want to buy. I can compair prices and group my trips to one store.
I think you should sell your banners here, on etsy and anyplace else this analog mom doesn’t know about. How about consulting? I need more help than I can even imagine.
SAJ says: I’m definitely going to do a freebie graphic giveaway thing. But I don’t think I’m qualified to consult. I can’t figgure blogger out these days either. I have to rely upon techy friends for all this web stuff.
Rebecca
Oh I don’t think you are selfish at all! I think you are struggling with keeping your own identity and being the best mother you can be. It’s a struggle that I know a lot of new mothers go through. I honestly think the 4 hours a week you spend designing are cruicial to keeping you creatively alive and there for the baby.
And yes, it is fun to save money! It’s a great skill to pass along to your beautiful child too :)
Kimberly
I really do not think you are selfish, AT ALL. You are obviously conflicted by priorities, choices, desires and needs. But hey, aren’t we all to some extent??! I know you’ll figure it out, because you are smart and creative.
SAJ says: Yes, “conflicted” is a good word. I’m fighting all the time with myself. Ouch! Punch! Whap! Ow!
Photographer Lori
You are so NOT selfish! Look at what you are doing for the dogs! I am so excited to see the designs you come up with! And at the art show you will sell all your prints, and get some new fans, so that will contribute to your money situation.
You are VERY talented…never doubt that, my friend! Really!
LORI
SAJ says: Art show! Whooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I don’t know… that’s a lot of paintings between now and August.
Kiki
SAJ- I think you have said everything I have ever wanted to say about my financial issues in your first Pesky Post. Though I am not a stay at home mom, or even have children, and I work full time- I would much rather be making banners, designing websites and reading all the blogs I love. I am struggling to find an outlet that will allow me to do all the stuff I love and help me make more money. It’s a back and forth struggle between what I love to do and what I have to do in order to live and pay the bills.
Maybe its a phase- a post winter, pre-spring phase. Everyone is thinking about the future, what they want and what they need and I am blog I have a bunch of blogs to go to where people are feeling the same way.
SAJ says: I think tax time kicked me into this spring guilt for sure.
Angella
You??? Selfish???? HARDLY! You made me FIVE banners! Without me asking! And without letting me pay you…though a treat is on its way :)
I think you are just a normal woman, dealing with normal issues (like money) and like a normal woman, had to work through it by “discussing” it here.
I always look forward to what creative thing you come up with next, and one day you’ll be famous! :)
BeachMama
Add me to the list of “you are not selfish”. I think everyone that goes from working full time to being a SAHM experiences this. Some of us find ways to bring in a bit of money, others just get over it somehow. Don’t feel bad about sharing your honesty, you are just being, well, honest.
I still think it will all work out, you will see.
Jenifer
I ninthly agree with the non-selfish statement. Also, how can someone be as selfish as you state and be so open with us? Nope, I don’t believe it. You were just fooling yourself and not realizing what was going on. We all do it on some level. Mine is food. “Oh, a bite of that won’t hurt” mentality is what I have to struggle with. It’s okay to be human, I promise. Not everyone can be perfect. That’s why we leave that job up to Whoorl. (Kidding!)
SAJ says: I know! Whoorl sucks. Just kidding. I love you, Whoorl.
Kuky
You are NOT selfish! When I was reading your post yesterday that thought never even came close to entering my mind. And fancy beans don’t necessarily taste better than store brand beans. I watched something where they had people taste test a bunch of different food, fancy vs store brand and most of the times the people like the store stuff better! And don’t completely give up stuff because the stuff makes you happy or as someone once wrote to me “so that you stay you. Moms must take care of their health–physical and mental.” See…just moderate. Ok sorry if my comment is all choppy. We’re about to leave the house and I just had to write that down for you before we left.
Valerie
You are so not selfish. It is NOT fun to save money, ask my bank account. It is fun to have the money once it is saved (that’s what my husband does, I’m not a saver) but not the denial that goes into the saving. And let me tell you, if you make more, you spend more. It’s very hard for me to save. I am your sister in shopping. And the $75 Target trips, although I always call them $100 Target trips since I have more kids.
jo
Budgeting is easy to plan – hard to do. The minute you take your eye off it, your money just flies out the window. That said my sister is the queen of budgets – she lived on $10 a week for food a few years back when things were tight (and had people over to dinner too!).
SAJ says: Wow. I want to meet your sister. That’s incredible!
Gramma
Not so very long ago, when most of my children were in elementary school, I went shopping at the Navy Exchange. Dad had had to make an extended trip to the other end of Honshu. Perhaps it was just boredom, maybe it was “payback” time. At any rate, I purchased the things my crew of six needed, somewhat. That put a big dent in the budget. I was sorry later when I discussed the incident with Dad. But. at the time, I was happy, just thoughtless. I don’t believe you are selfish. We just have to relax now and then .
lynne
Forgive yourself a little, I am sure you will work hard this year to make up for the savings that have had to be spent as you seem to be a very consciencious creature. How long have you been freelancing for? My friend got herself into a similar situation a couple of years ago, we had a long block of work on a series and she forgot to save and got stung for £7,000 when the tax time rolled around. She thought she would have to move back home, bit sorted it eventually. I earnt so little when I first started freelancing I used to have to wheedle the tax man to let me pay it in tiny installments :) For years I used to scrimp and save and forgot to enjoy and splurge occasionally and probably said no to a good few bargains, trips away etc that I should have enjoyed. These days I am learning to let go a little, but gosh if I lived in a country that had Costco and Target I dont think I could be held responsible for my consumer spending !!! :)
SAJ says: Target is the root of all evil.
stavroula
Another vote for “not selfish”. So you vented about money frustrations a little bit… Seems like pretty much all of us have money worries too, and welcome the chance to confess a bit! I don’t have exactly your set but definitely have had a hard time figuring out the “big picture/little picture” stuff with my husband, especially since the baby came – it feels like I (have to) keep track of most of the little stuff, and then he is inevtiably surprised at what has been spent when he looks at the big picture (which makes me feel bad, then defensive, then… ahh so complicated).
I do think that sometimes after a money shock things can get re-set on a better track; sounds like you might be feeling that.
MomnPop
Hi SAJ,
I started a comment on your last post that was going to say, “Don’t beat yourself up” but got interrupted and never posted it. Next thing I know you put up that illustration with the head pounding! Don’t do that! The first thing that occurred to me after reading your pesky post, was there are so many people out their who don’t have jobs so they can be a SAHM, and still have nannys and housekeepers. (I admit it, I’m jealous). Just wanted to say that, from this perspective, you don’t come off as selfish. Needing time for your creativity is really important, especially for someone with lots of bees in their bonnet like you. Also, prices have gone up so much in the last few years. I buy the same things at the grocery store and it costs way more now. It’s just the way it is. It sucks! Us freelancers should be raising our prices accordingly, but that’s really hard too, because we don’t want to lose work. Well, hope you’re feeling better.
SAJ says: groceries have gone up in $$$ I’ve noticed too. Thank you for these nice comments. I do feel better. I always do. I just have to remember to stay level headed.
Molly
I think you should be a little less selfish. Those nights out by yourself, to do whatever you want, with all the money in the world. Trips to Europe. The yacht trips have got to stop. And buying yourself 12 yellow roses every day, how selfish is that! You gotta stop with that one. Kidding. I know how it is. Everyone wants so much from you, that if you let anyone down with anything, no matter how small, it feels like a disappointment. Do me a favor. Instead of doing a TO DO list, do a DONE list and see how much you do in a day. And how much of that is for other people. Have a great day! -Molly
SAJ says: Hee hee! I love this comment. Yes, I really do need to cut down on those roses I send to myself. And the trips to Europe! Oh man! I love those.
The “DONE list” is a great idea. Like my mom always says, as she stuffs the door to her sewing room closed, “We may not get everything we want to get done but we probably get a lot more done than most people.”
Carrie
If you are selfish, so am I. It is hard to save money. It is hard to not have any income and be expected to deal with life with the money your husband thinks you should spend when the husband doesn’t have a clue that all the little things that make life liveable (like toilet paper and kitty litter) cost money. Becoming a full time stay at home mom is such a huge transition that it is hard to work out on a lot of levels. I would say more, but I gotta get some sleep! Btw, love the banner idea. I have always been a huge fan of your work, as I think you know!
SAJ says: The Free Web Graphic drawing is on! Just scroll down on the right below my archives etc… and you’ll see a button with some direction. Free stuff! Yay!
LVGurl
No apologies, please! You are not selfish. We all have our own reality. Don’t censor yourself because of what some mean-spirited “anonymous” reader may or may not take offense to.
Taxes suck. You can always look for creative business write-offs. New Baby Bug clothes will make her look excessively darling, so posting cute pictures of Bug in her new duds will drive traffic and ad dollars. Voila! Baby Bug’s clothes are now a valuable and necessary business expense! HAHA! ;)
Hey, you got out of Target for $75. I go in for diapers and a greeting card, and at checkout I hear “YOUR TOTAL IS $157.96.”
HUH?
The same thing happens at Trader Joe’s.