Moody Blues

Birthday Schmirthday

I’m at that sour-pus old age where birthdays don’t seem so happy anymore. What’s the fun in turning thirty-four? (Anybody want to help me tweeze out a gray hair or twenty?) It’s not like it’s a big round number worth throwing a party over. And I’m too old for fussing and I’m too young be forgetting when my birthday is. I’m just at that right age to feel grumpy about it. Bah Humbug. Birthdays suck.

When I woke up this morning, on the wrong side of the bed, I was determined that today was just going to be one disappointment after another. Why wouldn’t it be? Every other birthday has been one sad story after another. I even eeked out a few tears feeling sorry for myself. Pathetic, I know.

I rolled myself out of bed, fed the baby, checked my email, threw out about twenty birthday spam emails…. and then I found a sweet e-card from whoorl. Okay, that was kind of nice. Maybe I unwrinkled one furrow from my brow and let my curled lip relax for a minute while I watched the cup cakes bounce around to the cheery music. Mmmmmm cupcakes.

By mid-morning there was a silly rhyming birthday song recorded into my voicemail. So maybe I cracked a smile. Maybe I do have a friend or two who love me. Then came some flowers and they were kind of sweet too. I even liked the arrangement and I’m picky about that sort of thing. Maybe it was the bright pink color that made me stand a little straighter and stopped my dragging feet from rubbing along the carpet so much.

By noon the house was hot and sweaty. Even the flowers couldn’t keep my royal bad mood from attacking with a vengeance so Toby sent me off to the mall to buy myself a new mouse for my laptop. Oooooh new stuff. Plus, the air conditioning in my new car is awesome. Kinda like a fresh breath from Alaska. Sometimes that makes me forget to be grumpy. That and the birthday iced mocha I bought for myself. Chocolate is yummy.

When I got to the mac store I spied a wacom tablet. Maybe a wacom tablet would be a nice birthday present. I called home to make sure. “Of course!” said Toby. “It’s your birthday!” Even though we both know that I can easily write off a wacom tablet as a business expense, I’ve just never gotten around to buying one. It makes me feel better to get his blessing.

While standing in the check out line I started to dream of all the illustrations I could make with my new wacom tablet and maybe I cracked my crooked half smile just a tiny bit bigger. Just a smidge. But still birthdays are dumb.

Then I got home and it was baby this and baby that. No time for installing any new fun computer gadgets. So it sat and taunted me. Birthday Schmirthday. I still have to change diapers and clean pureed butternut squash off the bottom of the high chair tray. Don’t be so cute when you smile at me Baby Bug. Mommy is grumpy today. Grump Grump Grump.

But then my mother-in-law and brother-in-law came over and my mother-in-law made me a cake. A cake! She didn’t have an icing tip so the letters on the cake are thick and drippy. Sort of like what it would be like if you iced it with toothpaste. But it was chocolate and homemade and if I didn’t think that was sweet then I must have a heart of cement. And then there were presents and Baby Bug was an absolute angel baby.

Okay, you win. I did have a happy birthday.

But I’m still thirty-four and I have gray hair. harumph!


  • Nessa

    Happy Birthday!!! I’m 40 and don’t have grey hair. Not if I have it coloured anyway! I have 2 boys 3 and 1 and I love your blog.

  • BeachMama

    Happy Birthday!!!!! Oh, I thought you were so much younger than me, you are still younger, but look much younger, see what that Calilfornia air and beautiful beaches do for you?

    Glad you were able to crack a smile on your birthday, gray hair comes with wisdom, mine are finally sitting down with the rest of my hair instead of standing straight.

    I always thought you drew with one of those tablets, how cool that you got something really fun to play with after your birthday :)

    Happy Happy!!!

  • Jamie

    Happy birthday to you SAJ, and may you have many more grumpy-turned happy ones! Or just forget the number altogether and be happy all day with your cute baby :)

  • Clownfish

    Weren’t you like 19 when you started at The Factory? hehe And even though I totally agree with you about birthdays….I’m still glad that it ended up being a nice one for you.

    Even though I’m older, acting like I’m 14 keeps’em guessing!

  • Sheree

    Happy Birthday! Homemade choco cake can make anything feel better, no?

    And enjoy that tablet- I have one of the smaller ones and I LOVE it.

  • Lin

    Happy Birthday, Kid. Love the birthday pic of you & Buggy. Did Toby take that? It has such a beautiful feel. Strangely, I found my ’30s’ birthdays harder than any others; a feel that youth had passed but not enough age to be important. I understand a bit of what you’re feeling. Although of course now anyone in their 30s is SO young to me.

  • samantha

    Birthdays are all about YOU, and I make it a point to have a festival for myself. Happy late birthday, sweet Josephine Grumpypants, and what a year it’s been! Look at that beautiful Bug, and your fabulous and long-awaited car. I hope you keep treating yourself for a full WEEK. It’s a festival of YOU.

  • Jennifer

    Happy Birthday! I’m 34 but started getting gray in my 20’s :( Such a cute post. “But still birthdays are dumb”, how I can relate to that one. Glad your day got better and better.

  • jP

    You have been in the family long enough to know that you have to throw your own party (B appreaciates it when I buy my own present too). If we wait around for someone to make us happy we will stay miserable. Besides life really doesn’t start til kids, at least it changes enough to be a whole new life. Things change and you can redefine who you want to be.
    I’ll be 48 with kids that are 10 & 11. I could be their grandma. As for the grey- It is frosted by a master!!! I’m going to throw the big half century party in 2008.
    Party is at my house.
    By the way Happy Birthday.

  • Anonymous

    Hey! I’m sorry I missed your b-day. Here at Lassen we don’t know what day of the week it is much less the number. I glad you had a happy one. Sometimes you have to make your own birthday party happen. I have been known to go out alone and buy myself something special, take myself to lunch and have a starbucks on that day. And then at night we go out to eat.

  • ash pdx

    Joyeux Anniversaire! I know what you mean about birthdays- I just had my 37th.
    It is still your special day, I’m glad your friends and family celebrated it! (-:
    Amy in PDX

  • josephine

    4×5. I’m not liking the pen… anybody have any hints. Is there a way to have it not detect your movement when you are not touching the pad? It’s weirdy wierd.

  • ms. sizzle

    i miissed your birthday. :(

    HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY!

    so you are 34- you don’t look it, you don’t act it. you’ve got youthful charms and are beautiful. screw the gray hair. we’ve all got it. enjoy yourself! life is too short to be thinking about all those minute details. i am glad you had a happy birthday afterall.

  • Kikki's Mama

    HAPPY BBBBBBBBDAY!!!!!!!! Remember now it’s your baby’s bday parties you will be throwing, it doesn’t matter how old you are because you are a mom!