Iowa or Bust!

and-they-are-off

And she’s off! I dropped Amber and Bean off in Redlands last Sunday. It was 104°F. We thought we’d hang out, have an iced coffee, walk down the little downtown and check out Orange Street Alley but it was way way way too hot to be out and about!

104-degrees-in-orange-street-alley

We tried though! We got our iced coffees, sat around in the air-conditioned coffee shop for as long as we could, and then quick-footed it down the alley with all the umbrellas and called it a day. Nice knowing you Niece-com-poops! Have a good life!

Just kidding. I wouldn’t give them a send-off like that in a million years. We might have kept our goodbye hugs short but we definitely made sure the daysbefore she left was really special. We had several “last chance” special outings. We went to the beach, we went to the pool, we went to Balboa Island and we went to the mall… we visited all of our special places (including Wahoos and the Shake Shack!) and tied up her visit with an extra nice bow. I’m so glad she was able to stay so long with me during such a tumultuous time and we were leaving on good terms. We didn’t even fight! It was really special to have this time to bond with her and Bean. I love them to pieces.

And yes, I miss them.

little-cherub

I mean, how could you not? Look at that innocent cherub face!  All the memories of her interrupting my phone calls with high shrieks or throwing food from her highchair onto my white carpet have magically vanished away. What crazy psycho baby? I have no idea what you are talking about. She is a DREAM!

morning-water-drinking-ritual

It was good for me to be in the thick of toddlerhood again to remind me that I’m good. I don’t need to do it all over again. Having only one child who is now an amazing teenager is not a bad gig. I’m very happy with my motherhood journey. Yes, I did want more kids but I’m lucky to have the ones I have now. There will always be children in my life, they just won’t always be mine. Sigh…

sleeping-with-auntie

Amber took this photo of Bean sleeping on me. I’ll always have these memories and I can’t wait until they come back to visit, or maybe I fly out to Iowa and visit them! It’s possible.

fly-little-butterfly

Fly little butterfly, fly! You have a great big world out there for you and it’s going to be great.

in-hair-news

In hair news: I decided to cut the “wolfie” into a regular “pixie.” I thought wrongly that the shorter I went the cooler it would be. Nope, I still sweat the same amount and I am sick to death of summer and all this sweating. I do like my super short hair though. It’s fun and super easy to take care of because no matter how I try to style it, it pretty much looks the same. So why try?!  Bed head is taking some getting used to. I don’t love the crazy old lady tennis player wave I get sometimes but at least it’s entertaining. I hate it so much I rush to the bathroom sink and madly smash it down. Why does my hair have to be so free? It just wants to be full and escape my head. Note to future Brenda: do not cut layers above your ears. When will I ever learn???

 

xo

How it’s Going

how-its-going

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I used to whine about wanting more kids. I was so sad when I went through menopause and the role of motherhood seemed to be ripped out of my identity long before I was ready. Time is ruthless that way.

Queue five years later: A two-year-old moves in and it alllllll comes back to me.

I don’t want more kids! Sixteen-year-olds are a breeze compared to toddlers. I totally forgot what it was like to have a bin of colored pencils dumped on the floor every time they want to color. I forgot about keeping breakable things above four feet. I forgot about cleaning soggy cheerios and mushed banana bread from between the spokes of my dining room chair.  I forgot how much water I used cleaning up messy faces and messy hands and messy bellies and messy high chairs… I bet my water bill has doubled. And then there’s the skipping naptime and all-out war when it comes to bedtime. I totally forgot about that.

Don’t get me wrong. I am loving having my niece stay with me for an extended period of time. I just need to get my mommy-grove back on.

office-rearrange-for-august

In other news, I rearranged my office and I’m getting used to my new hair. I like it. I think I might keep it.