The Golden Hour Dance Party That Wasn’t

 

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I know you are expecting me to be sad that no one came to our last Golden Hour Dance Party.  That used to be something that would cause me a lot of stress. But it didn’t. Can you believe it? I am so much healthier mentally than I used to be. It’s not about me, Little Hoo.

kind of knew that people wouldn’t be able to come and I didn’t even try to push or guilt anyone into coming anyway. It was a Thursday night, it’s getting to be fall/winter and it gets dark earlier… dancing makes people nervous, so many of my friends were down with this or that bug… there were a million and one reasons why people wouldn’t come and I knew it. AND I was actually looking forward to just taking pictures anyway. Of course I would have loved a dance party, I always do, but you know what is really fun? Taking pictures with an amp playing music really loud outside.

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I also bought a cheap blonde Halloween wig. I’ve always wondered what the hype of being blonde was about. I gotta say it was fun. I can see the appeal. Part of me actually thought about doing this for real. It is pretty sexy, even on me!
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But I can’t actually bleach my hair blonde because I am just NOT up to the maintenance that being that blonde requires. Can you imagine me with a shelf of gray roots constantly growing out? I would look horrible regularly. I do not have the time or money to stay on top of that and it would be necessary. Sigh. It’s just not going to be.

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But it sure was fun for an hour or two!

 

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Joon did my make-up super goth. I was aiming for a Stevie Nicks look but my skin was not cooperating.

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Enough about me. How rad is Bug’s new cape we bought her for Halloween? We ordered it from an Etsy shop in Russia and waited impatiently for weeks for it to arrive. I was worried it might not make it in time for Halloween but it did! And it was everything we wanted it to be.

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I foresee many photoshoots with this wonderful cape. It’s light and made out of a table cloth-like material that is water repellent. I day-dreamed of it being heavy and velvet but this fabric is actually much better for our warm weather here in Southern California and it’s better for swooshing around. It furls and flurries like a flag whipping in the wind.

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Bug in the hood?

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You can see Toby’s rocker side coming out in her. She’s almost 14 and reminds me so much of myself, minus the low self-esteem and perpetual shyness.

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The music was blaring, we were being silly. It was pretty fun.

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On our way out we snuck into the woods to get some more moody shots.

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Super Bug!

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Joon was there too of course.

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She looks super goth and moody but it’s all an act.

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She’s just really good at looking sullen. She’s actually a firecracker nutball.

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I snuck a few photos of them making tic toks.

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You can see they are actually happy goobers in spite of their dark make-up and pouty looks.

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Speaking of dark make-up and pouty looks. I’m not so cheery looking here either. I took the wig off after dancing a while and getting nice and sweaty. I am reluctant to post these photos. They could seen as vain or really ugly if you are adverse to looking at a women nearing fifty but I kind of like them. This is who I am, wrinkles creeping up here and there. It’s not so bad.

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I had my time to shine just like the girls when I was young. Being youthful is really fun but you don’t have any of the confidence that you get when you’re older. Or at least I didn’t have it back then. I was a wreck when I had smooth skin and weighed next to nothing.  I wouldn’t trade places with my old self. So bear with me as I post these super big glaring close ups and let it sink in that I am getting older and there is nothing I can do about it except love it.

 

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And rock a blonde wig now and then!

Good Mood for Daaaays

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I know I’m going to jinx myself by saying this, but I have been in a good mood for days. Maybe even months. It’s really weird. Tomorrow, a piano-sized cloud of doom will probably fall on my head but in the meantime I just wanted to raise my hands in the air and say wooo hooooo! This is really cool!

I don’t know what to credit it to. More serotonin from my medication? My hormones have leveled out for a brief moment? Money problems have sort of straightened themselves out temporarily… etc?  Knock on wood. Is it that I found a new thrift store and bought a passel of new (cheap) clothes? Or is it that I’m participating in Inktober this month and having a lot of fun? I don’t know!dragon-breath

I love Inktober. It’s humbling to see how many artists are out there doing such a better job than I am. But at the same time it’s really really good to force myself to draw everyday.   I haven’t drawn something every single day in October but I’ve hit a lot of them. It’s been eye-opening.

I’ve found that my biggest challenge is slowing down. I always rush my drawings. I don’t know why I think I need to draw like my sketchbook is on fire. I can barely stop myself from scrawling through them, spelling mistakes, smudging my ink…skipping detail work or shading,  and then worst of all just posting carelessly without fixing lighting problems in photoshop or just scanning correctly. I’m  in a mad rush, always. I think I’m afraid that if I slow down, the drawing in my head will never happen. Or maybe it’s just that I think my drawings are really funny and I can’t wait to share them. I think it’s more that.  But the problem is that after I post them and check obsessively to see what everyone else thinks, I find all my errors all day long and kick myself. I’m very good at kicking myself. I am my own worst enemy.

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In spite of my messiness and carelessness, some of the drawings I really love. Like this one of Bug with all her plants. She actually only has two plants but she dreams of getting more. The inktober prompt was “overgrown” so I drew her with an overgrown room full of plants. I love drawing my day dreams.

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This was of the space kitties that I’m trying to make a *thing*. I should probably give it up.

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This one I actually hated so much I archived it minutes after posting it. It looks better big but in my instagram feed it looks messy and stupid. I was trying to draw someone trapped inside an ornament (the prompt was ornament) but I could not be bothered to slow down to draw some depth. FAIL. I got the smushed nose right though, so there’s that! Heh.

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This one I like even though it lacks shading and depth. Ghost was the prompt so I drew our “Garage Ghost” acting like Kramer from Seinfeld. The back story is that we always make jokes about the garage ghost because our garage door always swings open for no reason at all as if a friendly ghost were just swinging by for a quick chat.

I draw about the dogs a lot. They are my new kids now that I have teenagers who don’t like to be documented. Now I understand why there are so many crazy pet people in the world. I have drunk the kool-aid.

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Right after I drew that one this happened:

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Cody ate our chuck-it thing. We left to go to a concert in LA and we let them stay outside all night (it was totally mild weather and they were just fine) and apparently Cody got bored so he somehow got the chuck-it thing off the counter we have in the backyard and chewed it all the way down to the handle. I know he’s fine because he’s been acting completely normal and there were little tiny bits of orange plastic in his poop for two days afterwards.  Dogs, man.

Here’s a photo of the giant ball:

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Spreckles is so cute. My parents are coming home November 1st to get her. Even though I loved having her I’m kind of excited to see how she acts when she sees them again. I think she misses them a little bit. She’s a little tired of Cody and Whiskey.

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About that concert, last weekend we went to a concert in LA and Payam surprised us by getting a hotel that night on Sunset Blvd instead of driving home like we usually would. It was super awesome for me because I love adventure and staying in a new place. Payam on the other hand regretted it and wished he was home in his own bed.

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The next morning I dragged everyone to a Harry Potter-themed coffee shop. I was so into it. The kids were not. Are they ever into anything anymore? It seems like we have officially entered the stage of bershon. In a way it’s a good thing we took them because if Payam and I had gone alone I would have been moaning and complaining that this was perfect for the kids and I would be so sad that we didn’t take them. This way we did take them and guess what? They were meh! Ungrateful hooligans. But secretly I think they did like it. They just can’t let on that I have a good idea now and then because I am so dreadfully un-cool.

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So that prompted this drawing for the word “ancient.” Is it the kids photographing skills or am I just getting old? I joke of course. I don’t care really. In spite of my drawings I have actually been in a really good mood for a long time and ancient filters on photos aren’t getting me down. I take tons of pictures of myself that I actually like. I think the secret is really smiling and having a genuine good time. It doesn’t matter if I’m fatter or wrinklier or this shape or that shape. I think it’s fun bubbling up from inside that makes a good picture. So that’s my goal. More fun. Let’s keep this good day thing rolling! Maybe I’ll have to make November and December a combined Inkember.