Bad Mom,  Bug,  Family Matters

the preschool incident

silly face

I need to write something about Bug really quick but I only have about thirty-seven minutes of free time before I need to start cooking something dinner-like for the zoo animals around here.

When did Bug get so hungry all the time? She eats all day long. At first I thought she was making up for all the weight she lost while she was puking her guts out but now she’s back to normal and she is still asking for Cheez-Its in ten-minute intervals. Carbs carbs carbs. That all she wants to eat. She eats her chicken and broccoli and fruit so I’m not worried that she isn’t getting all her necessary nutrients. I’m just getting tired of being the all-day-long snack provider. Is this a preview to teenagerhood?


Sorry, had to go pour her a bowl of Pirate Booty. I know I shouldn’t be feeding her puffed rice treats half an hour before dinner but I really really want to finish typing this post. It’s now or never.

Where was I? Eating all the time. What else?


Preschool seems to be going fine. She doesn’t cry when I drop her off anymore but the other day when I picked her up she was crying. She gets really tired around noon so I wasn’t surprised that she was grumpy but I was worried. No one likes to see their child upset when you have no idea what could be wrong. Is it the normal afternoon meltdown or did somebody hurt her?

I swoop in to rescue her and she quiets right down, naturally. Mommy to the rescue as usual. While I’m signing the check-out paperwork, her normal teacher (the one who likes to hold her) told me not to worry, that Bug had only been crying the last fifteen minutes. That seems like a long time to me but it happens. Maybe Bug was just tired, the teacher said.

Then a different teacher, a new teacher, pulled me aside and said she was worried about Bug’s behavior. Immediately all sorts of alarms went off in my head. Is this my first incident where someone pulls me aside and tell me my child is a problem? Am I the mother of the “problem child?” I could feel my throat tightening in panic. Am I an unfit mother? Is this the beginning of a label that she will struggle under for the rest of her life just because she is different?

The teacher told me that Bug had been crying for quite a while and saying over and over, “I can’t stop crying!” This is not anything terribly new to me. Bug has been saying this particular phrase to me for about two weeks now. Every time she has a melt-down over something as silly as not being able to snap a Lego into place or as scary as falling off her tricycle, she’ll cry for about five minutes and when I try to console her she’ll sputter that she “can’t stop crying.” She doesn’t cry for hours or anything. I’ve babysat other kids who have actually started hyperventilating and really did seem like they couldn’t stop. Bug just seems to be more vocal about her feelings. I call her my little drama queen. I haven’t been too worried about it.

But then the teacher said that I really need to “root out this behavior” before Bug learns to act this way for the rest of her life. She asked me why Bug might say something like “she can’t stop crying” and I, like an idiot, volunteered that maybe Bug says this because I’m always shushing her to be quiet so that Toby can work.

What a mistake! Why am I sharing my personal challenges with Toby’s work schedule with Bug’s preschool teacher? Next thing I know the teacher is going to tell me that my husband needs to get an office so that Bug can be as loud as she wants all day long. I have been down this road with so many people and nobody understands that it’s not as simple as just kicking my husband out of the house from 9-5. Nobody understands freelancers! We don’t work from nine to five!

I’m sure that more than one of my readers (and friends and family) could launch into a diatribe about why Toby should not work at home but this is where we are at in our life. This is the choice we have made as a family. I think lots of kids have grown up in way more difficult circumstances. I think Bug can learn to be quiet at home and noisy outside and still be perfectly normal.

Then the teacher launched into a paragraph about how Bug is a smart kid, and I need to take her out of the house so she gets more stimulation, plan more activities etc….And while the teacher is right about this, she does not realize that Bug and I do quite a bit outside already. We have fun trips weekly. We take walks to the beach and the park, the library and of course all the many many errands I have to run to the laundromat and the grocery store. We don’t sit around and watch tv all day.

But I stood there taking this all in. I actually considered that maybe the teacher was right. Maybe I haven’t been doing enough with Bug. Maybe I do ignore her too much while I check my email or write a post (like I am doing right now). Immediately the self-judging wheels started turning and I was examining everything I do with Bug.

And then I called my friends and family and they laughed at me. How silly am I to listen to a teacher who has only observed my child for one day? She has no idea what we do all day long. She has no idea that Bug is an only child and if anything she’s a bit spoiled with too much attention. Bug hates to play by herself because she has me to play with her all day long. I’ve created a little monster.

This is why she is in preschool. So she’ll learn to play by herself without Mommy constantly on call.


Here is where I had to go cook dinner, give the kid a bath and then fell asleep for the night…


So that’s where I’m at. I think I need to take more of an offensive position when preschool teachers approach me. I do think that Bug needs to learn that she can’t cry to get more attention and we will work on that. I wish I could pop out a sibling for Bug and create a little healthy competition for her but life has not dealt me that card yet. And who knows, Bug might be the type of child who would just boss a younger sibling around anyway. I don’t know. I guess that’s what parenthood is right? Just constantly second-guessing yourself.

I meant this post to be about Bug’s Cheez-It breath and all the funny things she does but I guess I’m a little more worried about the preschool incident than I realized.

So let’s end it with something silly Bug does!


  • Cindy

    Hmmm… all I can really say is that we’ve been there and done that with the teachers and it will likely continue in some fashion all through their schooling. Good luck!

    Love the video! Is she singing, “stop in the neighborhood, before you break my heart?” Too cute!

  • Christina

    I also get the ‘am-I-a-terrible-mother’ spaz thinking when someone offers uncomfortable insight. That said, I really try (hard!) to remember that I know my child better than anyone else does, so I will consider the input but not let it drive me crazy. My standard response is, “Hmmm. Thanks for sharing that. I’ll definitely give it some thought.” No need to offer personal details :)

  • nicole

    You and Toby are Bug’s first and foremost teachers and you guys know her better than anyone. You are great parents of a highly intelligent and lovingly verbal little girl (among other things). Teachers will come and go but you will always be there. All kids are suppose to be dramatic at this age anyways, otherwise toddlerhood/preschool would just be dull! I love the t-shirt.

  • Janna from Honeyed Hashette

    “Stop in the neighborhood, before you break my heart!” SO funny! She is adorable!
    Do not worry about the teachers. You are an AWESOME mom and she will be fine. I am an only child and I am sure my mom dealt with issues like this too.


    I am literally exhausted when I read about all the stuff you do with Bug and I’m a non-mom with all of her time to herself! You are an amazing mother – constantly engaging her creativity and showing her support. Why can’t a kid just cry without it having some sort of Freudian significance? Tell the teacher to shut it. I’m sure she’s trying to exercise her newly minted child psychology degree. No one know’s her child (and when her child is pushing boundaries) more than a mother!

  • Jess

    Silly teacher! Bug goes on adventures with her Mommy practically every single day! She gets to do more and see more than most kids I know.

    (Please refer back to rose bush installation, wedding and dancing, trips to the beach, shopping trips, green puppet shows, and parties, trips to the sticks, pottery painting, Chinese New Year decorations, Channukah decorations, TONS of art projects….)

    Sure, Bug’s in a crying phase right now, but soon that’ll change. She may be in a yelling phase or a running around like a maniac until she falls down phase next. I bet it’ll make her more sympathetic to other kids that are crying, too, because she knows how they feel. Maybe you can teach her to say, “I just need to be sad right now. Please give me some space. I’ll feel better in a little bit.” (or I just need a hug, or what ever. My daughter, who had some crying times, just wanted to be left alone.)

    You’re an awesome mom and I bet the teacher’s mind would be blown if she knew how many wonderful experiences you’ve already given Bug.

  • kedge

    I had someone tell me a ‘better than your’ way to keep Mom’s medicines, health, and medical history record on track. Huh? I am constantly adjusting, re-aligning, fine-tuning, and making course corrections. Practically daily. I have to change my attitude, my schedule, and judge my selfishness, but keep my tone of voice the same, to reflect her changing needs. My catharsis was when I stopped caring what others thought about my choices. It’s quite liberating, really.

  • beyond

    stop! in the neighborhood!
    how cute.
    yeah, people who think they know everything and then proceed to tell you to change… good times. i also think that this might get worse as the (school) years go on. as long as you know that YOU (and toby) are the only one who knows.

  • Kate

    I wouldn’t worry too much Brenda. I have a 3.5 yo daughter and she cries and cries if the wind blows the wrong direction, I swear. SO different than my son at that age. But girls are more emotional and more sensitive. You’re probably right on in your thinking that she’s just tired. My little one tends to cry inconsolably more when she’s tired too. So don’t give too much credence to that teacher’s thoughts – you know Bug best and have been with her every day. And you’re doing a fabulous job. :)

    And that video? I love it. So stinkin’ cute.

  • Adele

    I agree with all the above comments. You are great parents to Bug, and she’s one lucky little girl to have you. Don’t beat yourself up!

  • Amanda

    I’m with everyone else – you’re doing fine. You should hear Genoa scream! I wish all she did was say “I can’t stop crying!” Bug sounds like an angel; I think you have NOTHING to worry about. And that video was too cute – the neighborhood!

  • franticallysimple

    Okay, here’s where I get all snotty, but the woman is a pre-school teacher, not some kind of a therapist. She may represent herself as an expert, but she isn’t really.
    But you are. On Bug.
    Kids cry. Kids sometimes say silly things FOR NO important reason. If Bug were acting this way when she was 10, it might be an issue. Maybe.
    But she is a very little girl learning to navigate her own way for the first time. There are bound to be some bumps along the way. The teacher needs to come off her high horse.
    As to Toby working at home, sure, there are compromises to be made, but learning to be quiet when appropriate is a good thing. And having a dad around and accessible (like when he takes a break) is fantastic.
    I have an only child too. She’s eight now. I’ve learned that I can’t be “on” all the time. Sometimes she needs to play on her own. She is the most creative, imaginative child. It’s amazing.
    And having siblings creates as many problems as it solves.
    How hard would Bug cry if she had to compete for your attention?
    This comment is all over the place!
    To sum up:
    She’s three. She’s normal.
    You are an exceptional mom.
    The teacher is a tool.
    The end.

  • Suze

    I have not written before, but felt I had to respond to this. Nobody knows your child like you do. If your gut tells you there is a problem, there is probably a problem. If your gut tells you everything is okay, it probably is. On the other hand, most moms obsess about doing the right thing. It can’t hurt to listen to what teachers and other parents suggest, carefully consider what they’ve said, decide if there is any truth to it, and if not forget it and move on! And another thing, all kids have to deal with their parents work situations. Some kids have military parents, some kids have parents who work shift work, some kids have parents who have to travel a lot, or work long hours. Bug has parents who freelance. It could be a lot worse! Parenting is all about teaching kids to successfully deal with what life throws at them.

  • octavia

    i think it has to do with our innate inability to ignore ‘authority figures’… especially when we are put into a role we are trying to suss out moment to moment. i fall into this with my pediatrician. the woman poo-poo’d making my own baby food!!! wha?!?!? it’s okay to listen to ‘them’ but make sure you take time to step back and compare their advice back to what you and your husband laid out as your moral compass. i’m sure you are doing just fine since your baby girl is beautiful, has all limbs and digits she was born with and can express herself so extraordinarily.

  • Laura

    I have to say that I believe that the comments she made to you were inappropriate given that she had only been in the room for one day. Every (good) teacher knows that even the most perfectly behaved kids have bad days now and then, so to form opinions and pass judgments without establishing a pattern of behavior is absurd. If you haven’t heard of a problem with Bug’s crying before now, then I don’t think there’s cause to worry unless the frequency does pick up. Her regular teacher seems to understand this, and therefore, I wouldn’t put much stock in what the newbie has to say until she develops her own more professional, pattern of behavior. :-)

  • Karen

    I think your family is right. The teacher has only seen her one day. She doesn’t know you or Toby and has no right to say anything about “home”. My son has break downs constantly, it’s just what pre-schoolers do. Noah has said to me “I can’t stop crying”. We then count to 10 with big breaths together and I hug him and he eventually stops with a big sigh and smile.

    I would work on something like that with Baby Bug and then tell the teachers what you are doing so it is consistent. Your a wonderful mom Brenda, and if I could only have the energy you have with Baby Bug for my kids I would be super mom. You inspire me and I don’t think you should let anyone tell you that you need to change the way you have your “house”.

  • Heide

    That vid is just too stinking cute. Love it!

    My older girly is 2.5 yrs and is bulking up on carbs lately too… I hope she is gearing up for a growth spurt, because the Cheez-Its are all going straight to her second and third chins right now. :)

  • nikkapotamus

    I love reading your site, and just adore Bug. My own Bug loves to watch your Bug and is constantly asking if that’s her!

    As a teacher, and a mom, I’d love to chip in my 2 cents. Teachers are professionals, and do have some really great ideas to help out with certain situations. Many have been through many stages of childhood and can give some really great insight to certain behaviors. So, when you listen to any teacher (and you will for the next 15 years), listen with a “Dear Abby” kind of mindset. Hear what she says, say, “Oh, that might work.” and then see if it really fits your lifestyle. You don’t have to justify yourself, but being diplomatic helps. If something does work (and especially if it doesn’t!), let the teachers know, so they can work on it at school too.

    Remember, kids are often INCREDIBLY different at school than they are at home. And crying isn’t the worst thing she could be doing. It’s sad and heartbreaking to witness, but she’ll soon grow out of it.

    All that being said, I am so jealous that you and your husband spend so much time with Bug. I wish I could teach my students from home so I could spend more time with own little bug.

  • Katy @ just add cake

    The thing I have learned about teachers is that what one thinks is a fabulous part of your kid’s personality the next will think is the one personality trait they must overcome to get anywhere in life. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.

    Last year my oldest daughters preschool teacher thought she was too emotional, too timid, too shy, too everything! Her Kindergarten teacher embraced what she thinks is perfectionism and really worked with it and my daughter has really come out of her shell and thrived. Unfortunately, she will not always have teachers so wiling to work with her and make her comfortable… and that is a part of life, but it is nice when you come across those people who will embrace your kids where they are and work to bring out the best in them.

    As a mother who often reads about all the great outings and art projects you and Bug do while my kids are watching Noggin I think you are doing a great job exposing her to the world!


    It’s parenting… You will always second guess your choices, especially when the challenging questions come from teachers or other professionals that we were brought up to respect the opinion of. Trust you instincts- preschool is a big adjustment for kids. I have 3 – 5.5 yr old twins and a 9 mo. old. All my girls are so different from one another – when the twins started preschool, one would happily join in circle time while the other clung to me crying… You’re doing fine as long as you’re always doing your best… from what I’ve read on your blog, seems to me you are!!

  • cc

    Ok. I know I don’t need to tell you this, but, Bug is Bug.

    She’s a type A personality. At three this is hard. Well, six isn’t always much better, but you know that too.

    Bug has her own way of dealing with things. The I can’t stop crying is probably a, “I’m upset and I need help calming down;” or more likely, “give me my space already.”

    I know you tell her to use her words, but sometimes her whole sentence stuttering gets in the way. When we were at lunch I had her stop and take a big breath and then blow it out. While the in through the nose and out through the mouth was to confusing, she got the big breath and blow it out. Then we tried talking again. It did seem to help a little.

    If her main teacher said she cried a little but just seemed tired, I wouldn’t worry about the other teacher. If it was really a problem her main teacher would have said something.

    I’ve had almost 6 1/2 years with SuperChic and some days she still puts me through the ringer and I just can’t keep up with all the emotions.

  • Jenni

    I am shocked at that other teacher. She really should be saying something to Bugs teacher and let that teacher handle it (that’s my professional note to the teacher). You do plenty with her. I really think that teacher was way out of line and, if I were you, I might bring this up with her regular teacher and ask what her opinion is.

    Some teachers jump to conclusions way to quickly without knowing everything about a child. They get to know a child for 30 minutes and then think they know everything.

    I wouldn’t worry about anything with her, I would bring it up with the regular teacher and ask if she has any conerns; my bet is that she doesn’t.

  • Karin

    Ha ha…”stop! in the neighborhood…” so cute!

    So I don’t have any kids…but I once was one myself…and I remember telling my mom “i can’t stop crying”. I don’t think that phrase is that uncommon. But I do remember in those times of feeling like I couldn’t stop crying, my mom would hand me something to drink…and then I’d stop…it was like this natural cry-stopper. There was something soothing about having some juice…I think it made me focus on breathing out of my nose as I drank…and it slowed down my breathing and emotions. I’m sure that won’t work for all kids, but it is something that has stuck with me.

  • Aunt Jaynette

    Well, I’m way down on the bottom of the responses.

    BUT….I remember hearing one of the cousins saying those exact words sometime during the wedding week-end.

    Maybe she’s just trying out a new phrase to see how it works.

  • Brooke

    Something that I always forget in the heat of the moment but I’m starting to remember is to just smile and nod and say “uh-huh, yeah, sounds good” whenever the doctor, dentist, etc. is giving me a lecture I know is off. That way my emotions don’t get so bruised and I can walk away and mutter “whatever” when I get out the door :) This has been a tough lesson. I once let an incident at the dentist cause me to cold-turkey wean my daughter that very day. It was a mess. That’s the woman I am constantly smiling and nodding at now. And her lectures have now stopped, imagine that :) I hope that you are able to avoid more run-ins with the particular teacher!

  • bethany actually

    Yes, what CC said! You have probably heard me, when Annalie freaking out, remind her to take a deep breath. That is always a good idea because it actually works physiologically to calm a body down.

    You already know my take on all of this, that I think the teacher stepped over the line and that you are doing FINE. :-)

  • Calee

    There are still times when I feel like saying “I can’t stop crying.”

    Remember how early Bug wakes up? (How could you forget?) That girl is tired when other kids are just getting going. She’s a major trooper most of the time and sometimes tears are just the only solution that works. Not the end of the world and this will pass.

    Also–living the dual parent freelancer life can be rough sometimes. We do it every day with our two year old. She’s learning that sometimes Daddy is working and sometimes he can play but life is so much richer than if he was at an office 9,10,11 hours each day. I’m of the opinion that kids need to learn early to have an inside voice and an outside voice. Having Toby at home just gives her a concrete reason to learn these things.

    You’re a great mom who does amazing things for her kid.

  • Gramma

    When I was about 3 to 5 I had an imaginary playmate called “Bepp” who went everywhere with me. I don’t remember if it was a boy or a girl because it really didn’t matter. I used to tell it all my troubles and talk about my sadness. Later I had a turtle called Toby who lived in the cellar and ate lettuce and tomatoes. He blinked his eyes and looked like he understood. Taking a big breath and having a drink of juice aften helps. But, why don’t you ask her what would make her happy again? OR find a special spot where she can be alone for a few minutes to cuddle a favorite doll or stuffed toy?

  • Aunt Jaynette

    And what do you think she is doing at her wonderful school????

    Getting the extra stimulation that she is talking about. You can’t be out of the house all day long, every day.

    Write her off or report the discussion to someone in charge.

  • Marie

    I don’t comment much but do read your posts. I just had to say something here though: please don’t listen to the teacher. I’m an only child myself (my parents were just unable to have anymore kids even though they wanted) and I can definitely say there were times in my various stages of growing up I would act in such a way so as to get more attention from my parents. My mom was my playmate as a kid even after I started going to school (don’t get me wrong, I did make friends while at school and can be quite the social butterfly). When I look back now and see all the attention both my parents gave me and the time they took out for me I am so grateful.

    You give Bug such great care and attention. You are a wonderful and very creative mother. Please don’t listen to this teacher. She doesn’t know you and doesn’t know your family life at all. One day when Bug is all grown up she’s going to love even tons more because you gave her all this loving attention when she was a child.

  • Britt

    I just watched the video with my 2.5 year old daughter. She is saying RIGHT NOW with pleading hands:

    ” I want her to be my friend. Could she be my friend? Someday? Someday Mama? Could we drive to her house? It’s far far away. Could we drive to her house?”

  • Tonya

    When my son was in preschool, his teacher (a retired kindergarten teacher) told me that he would never make it in public school. She complained every time I picked him up about how slowly he ate lunch. He was always the last one done. Apparently, in her mind, that made him unsuitable for public school. Well, that and the fact that she thought he was a perfectionist. I obsessed about what she told me for months. He is now 14-years-old and in all honors classes–in public school. He has done well ever since he started.

    Don’t take everything she says as the gospel truth!

  • Heather Burgoyne

    You have NOTHNG to worry about. Those teachers are overthinking. Im sure they do that with all the moms. Just take it as constructive criticism. Im an only child and when my Mother dropped me off at school I would be so nervous for her to leave that i would throw up everyday!! Until second grade!! Im telling you. Its hard to leave our mommy for the first few years. Enjoy it while you got it. When she gets older youll wish she wanted you there again. Here acting out is just trying to make up for the lack of attention shes getting at school that shes used to getting at home. She will get to know the kids in the class and everything will work itself out. It always does. I read your blog everyday and I cant believe some of the wonderful things u do. It has nothing to do with you I promise

  • Melissa

    Man, that new “teacher” has some cojones to step up to you and tell you that on her first day! Sheesh.
    You are a GREAT mom. Seriously. I absolutely admire every wonderful (and every normal) thing you do with Bug each and every day.
    All us mothers-of-one tend to take things like that a little personally, but, as everyone else has said, Bug is Bug. And you know her better than everyone.
    Try to put that woman’s opinion out of your mind, and go make some more videos of Bug being adorable. :o)
    Have a great weekend!

  • a madhouse wife

    Well, parenthood has been NOTHING but second-guessing for me! That, and wondering what the kids’ babysitters and teachers must think of us…they must think we’re CRAZY! They must think we cuss a lot…(well, that may not be too far off…) they must think all kinds of things! I’ve been lucky that most of the time they’ve all been very reassuring. I’d stick with the regular teacher for now. ;)

  • Ev

    Your doing fine. I only have 1 child, as you said I would have another, but it hasn’t happened. She has older siblings, from her dad, but they live 1500 miles away, and are a lot older. So she is an only child. It takes a while to get used to school, and being away from you. My daughter did they same, she would cry when it was time to drop her off, then that stopped. Does she only go in the morning? Does she take a nap there? My daughter is not a napper at home, but she needs that nap. It really makes a difference. I can tell on the days she doesn’t go to school, she gets really cranky & crying about everything around nap time. She probably just tired, & she ready to see you.

  • Ev

    P.S. She also went through the can’t stop crying stage. She would say it too. “I can’t stop crying, I can’t help it.” LOL

  • Leta

    My daughter is 4 and she says “I can’t stop!” when crying also. Not as much as she used to though, so it’s getting better. I don’t care that she’s crying, it’s the wailing at the top of her lungs that drives me batty. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. It seems like pretty normal little kid behavior to me. It’s hard to stop crying when you are an adult, so why wouldn’t it be hard for a kid?

    I think that teacher needs to chill. I know that I don’t know you all personally, but I am sure you would not have so many great stories and pictures to regale us all with if you sat around and watched tv all day. You are a great mom. You do lots of fun things with Bug. You inspire me to do more with my kids. It is so easy for others to judge and for guilty mommy feelings to kick in at the slightest provocation.

  • alinastar

    This is my first time writing. I read your blog daily and love it! It is so inspiring to read as a mom of a 3.5 year old. You take Bug to the beach more than any other parent I know!! That teacher doesn’t have a clue! Is there anyway to educate her on all the fabulous, creative and beautiful things you do with your daughter? Not to mention your fantastic exstended family & friends and all the neat things Bug does with them? Sheesh. That teacher really hasn’t a clue.
    Thank you for your wonderful blog!

  • katie ~ motherbumper

    That sounds pretty unprofessional, there’s observation and then there’s making assumptions without proper analysis. From what I can tell, you have nothing to be concerned about – she’s three!

  • Photographer Lori

    You know, I was just bragging about you and what a great mom you are! Seriously! I can’t remember how it came up, but I was with a friend who has a little girl and I was telling her all about your great parties and art projects and your creativity and fun stuff you do with Bug. I even sent her over here to take a look at the blog.

    Isn’t it funny how we see ourselves and how others see us? LOL You are an awesome mom! (and don’t you forget it!)

  • karen

    Every time I read your blog, I am retroactively shamed a bit. I *thought* I did a lot with my kids when they were little! You are a fabulous mom and you do SO much with Bug (both her-centric and things you have to do that she is simply included in) that I’m sort of in awe of you. My own mothering skillz are a little more along the spider track…if the kids are around too much, I’m likely to eat them out of sheer frustration. *ahem*

    Now, about that working at home thing? I work at home and, sometimes, Chris does, too. We have the luxury of having a den that has a door we can shut…but the entrance to playroom is through our den (some renovation sometime will fix this…) so the door is rarely shut and peace while working is most easily found while the kids are in school.

    I agree with those who laughed at you – ignore Ms. Has-only-known-Bug-for-one-day and try not to take any fly-by advice!

  • Erin

    My pet peeve in LIFE is people who offer unwanted advise with no information. And for the record, I was “shushed” a lot growing up because of my Dad’s job…and I turned out knowing I was loved by both parents and just fine. I realized that my Dad’s job was something he did in part for me and learned to be respectful and helpful. Sometimes teachers just get a wee opinionated for my taste- and I am routinely astounded by how much you do with Bug. So no worries.

  • Jen - Mom of 4

    Bug is completely normal. As a Mom of 4 I’ve had the gambit of emotions with my kids. At three years old they are testing the waters, trying to figure themselves out, and realizing that they can have emotions like sadness and try to understand the reason why. She sounds like she was tired – just like you thought she was. My oldest, who is now 16, was exactly like Bug. When she was put into a time out, she would sing about how mistreated she was – oh the DRAMA. She great now, but we still can have drama – it takes time for everyone to learn how to control their feelings.

    I suggest that if this happens again that you talk with the other teacher. Mention what has been brought up by the new teacher and get her insight to how things are going during Bugs time there. I think the new teacher is just overly enthusiastic – but she has to realize that what she did was not appropriate since she had just observed Bug for one day. If it still is bugging you I would also suggest talking with the schools director about if there are school conferences – if there are tell her that you would appreciate hearing comments like the ones you heard today during conferences only and that all the teachers that work with Bug are present. I think you will get a better idea of how she truly acts then.

    Remember you and Toby are Bugs best parents. You do a great job!

  • Susie

    Not that you need me to validate how you live, but:

    We live in an apartment in a neighborhood of single family houses. Our apartment is on top of businesses, including a hair salon and a nail salon, both of which are right under the kids’ rooms. During business hours, our kids cannot be terribly loud, can’t stomp around, etc. But you know what? They are now 7 and 9 years old, and neither one has any trouble with self-expression. They have plenty of opportunities to be loud and rambunctious kids, as they should. Just not in the apartment during certain hours. They are both happy, healthy, and according to their teachers, are exceptionally well-adjusted.

    There are many different ways to structure your home and work life, and as long as you give them plenty of love and care, the kids will be fine. End of story.