guest posters

Dear Baby™


This post is from Jerri Ann from Mom-E-Centric. Thank you, Jerri Ann.

Dear Baby™ Inc.

My husband and I have two different models of your product. At the present time, there is a malfunction in each of the two models. Please understand that we consider ourselves very lucky to have received the lovely baby™ that you send us originally in 2003. We were so excited that we asked for and received another baby™ in 2004. We have simply been over-joyed. However, we seem to have encountered a couple of high maintenance glitches in your product.™ I will start with the older model, as I am afraid that you can do little to remedy the problems we have encountered.

The first baby™ that we received was gorgeous, just as we expected. He was plump and round but he cried a lot. Through a series of holding, rocking, cuddling and feeding we were able to get through those trying times. As you know, this model is approaching three years old and we have found some of the very same issues as we did in the beginning. The tears, oh the tears, that this baby™ has produced over the last several months. Apparently this baby™ is extremely unhappy as he cries at the very drop of a hat. For example, he will ask for something (i.e. toy, food) and upon receiving said item, the baby™ will burst into tears for no apparent reason. In most cases, this model™ of your product will land in a heap on the floor, arms and legs flailing, tears pouring from his eyes and wailing loudly. Understand that eating is not the only time that such malfunctions occur. On occasion, this model™ will become teary-eyed over such issues as getting dressed, wearing a coat, or the desire for certain toys, just to name a few. I’m curious if there is some tweaking that can be done with our model by your wonderful service department? This baby™ also seems to be excruciatingly loud. Perhaps his volume could be adjusted so those normal everyday requests do not become ear-biting demands. We are available at your convenience for you to send someone to our home. My husband and I have been unable to find the technique for correcting these problems. As you know, none of your products™ come with an instruction manual so I am going to assume that you are responsible for all maintenance.

I would like to reiterate that we have been extremely pleased with your product™; however, the second model™ has another set of maintenance issues. As I mentioned above, we received this model™ in November 2004. We have been simply over-joyed by the presence of this model™ in our home and have basically few complaints. However, since your service department will need to make a visit to our home in order to make corrections with our first baby™, maybe he could make a few minor changes with the latest baby.™ This baby™ seems to missing an internal clock as he wakes sometime near 4:30 AM each and every morning. When the baby™ does this, he is more than willing to rise and play. However, as I’m sure you are aware, this is not the most ideal hour to be playing peek-a-boo and demolition derby. Hopefully, the technician will be able to make minor changes with this baby™ as we have absolutely no other complaints. Other than this one glitch, he seems to be just as perfect now as he was when we received him last year.

To be perfectly honest, both of our baby’s™ are quite enjoyable to be around and we have little difficulty with them. However, as with any high maintenance product, I suspect that a tune up issued at least once a year is in order. Please feel free to visit my home at any time or call me to set up an appointment to install, update and re-program the functions, which are faulty.

I appreciate your time and I hope to see someone soon.

Owner of 2 Baby™ products

If you would like to guest post on this website, please email me (SAJ). I will be posting guest posts from now until September 15th


  • cc

    If they manage to fix anything let me know. I have a back-talker and a screamer. If they were going to install those particular programs you think they would have at least included a warning.

  • Gretchen

    Unfortunately, we had many of the same service issues. I found the company not only unwilling, but unable to make service calls. Each product is individually handcrafted and given on an ‘as-is’ basis. I will say, that as the product ages the ‘tantrum effect’ lessens, though it most likely will pick up in the younger one about the time the older one out grows it.

    Take heart, they get ‘better.’

  • Kate

    I have a 2002 model also – it seems to be okay except for sporadically not following commands. I also have a 2005, which is having that same “crying at the drop of a hat” issue. They’re still lovely models just sometimes make me want to pull my hair out.

  • Michelle

    So funny :o) I wonder how they would handle the models that came in “twos” in ’97? Proud owner of an ’02 also…anybody got the warranty so that we can see where we going with this?

    PS – Waving at SAJ :o)

  • Melissa

    You think the problems with the ’00-09 models are problematic? I have an early ’94 model and no one told me that the baby would outgrow my house! He is 6’4″ and wears size 16 shoe. Help, how can I keep my model appropriately attired when no store carries size 16 shoes that the ’94 model does not consider ‘bowling shoes’. And please tell me where I can find a contractor to raise all of our light fixtures!

  • Mr. Noodle

    Well I have to say that I may be unlike your other readers…

    I am the proud owner of a ’93 model (male) and a ’95 model (male) and i have to say this…

    Even though the warranty coverage was for shit, I found that, over time, most problems with these particular models seemed to work themselves out.

    Now I own two, slightly damaged due to misuse, models that are pretty cool little products that, dispite the owners manual, have responded very well to the misuse.

    The products actually will respond pretty posititvely given the right amount of leeway…

    Mr. Noodle

  • ioi

    I loved this post (and the comments)! We have one model for each of the years ’05, 06, and ’07, so it is interesting to see other owners’ comments. The cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat is very descriptive of my ’05 model, but since I noticed that glitch was pointed out already in some of the earlier comments, it appears she must be quite normal. My ’06 model however, seems to have a major problem in the volume and tantrum department. He also seems to have a few more difficulties in the ‘obedience’ department. But – the company either made some drastic rennovations to the ’07 model, or managed to make a longer lasting ‘problem-free’ version. Our ’07 model is really a lot of fun and it appears that the only difficulty we’ve had with her has been night-time snacking. I heard some models grow out of that habit before they hit 10 months.