Moody Blues

an in-between post

love in a chair

I wanted to be brilliant and write a funny blog post about how Baby Bug is such a girly-girl these days, what with her twirling and wearing a tutu and all the adorable things she does all day long but then I woke up with this horrible sad fog on my brain and it just won’t leave. Why! Why do I do this somedays? And more importantly why am I blogging about it?

Usually the sad fog stems from some little hurt feeling somewhere and all I need to do is find that hurt feeling, give it a swift flick in the ass and move on. But I can’t find the hurt feeling. Sure, little things have happened here and there… like a client didn’t like the logo I made, I’ve almost gained all my gallbladder sickness weight back (ugh. so hate self right now), someone I was expecting an email from didn’t email me back yet, just stuff. Just riff raff in my head like junk in the trunk.

I think I just need to watch a sad movie or something and get the cry out already. I hate it when I’m like this. If I wasn’t a mom I would take myself out to a movie and cry it out in the dark all by myself. I can’t cry around the baby. Besides crying is for wimps and I have bigger and better things to do today. Like my Aunt always said, “Being sad is a luxury you can’t afford.” Plah. Like everything else I can’t afford.

So I’m hoping that I can just share a little here and move on. I also want to say hello and thank you for all the nice comments about my little paintings in the last post. I’m feeling much better about them. I had some super super super cute pictures of baby bug in her tutu to show you but her Daddy decided that the whole internet doesn’t need to see Baby Bug shirtless. So, I’m sorry. You’ll just have to imagine her adorableness.


  • Bethany

    I’m sorry to hear about your sad fog. I’ve kind of been in one of those myself lately, and I have no idea why, either. I should be five kinds of happy for a bunch of different reasons, but instead I just feel…bleh. Anyway, would it cheer you up a tiny bit to know that you have surprise mail coming to you soon (to BB, really)?

    SAJ says: wheee!!!!!! Snail mail!

  • Pam

    everyone, or at the very least every woman, needs a good cry now and then, it’s a pressure and stress release, sometimes i don’t even have to be sad to cry and you always feel better afterwards, too bad you can’t sneak away to that movie, i think i might go to a movie by myself tomorrow, probably not to cry though bc i think the only thing i want to see is shrek3

    and good call daddy, i’m parinoid like he is about stuff like that, well about everything actually lol

  • little miss mel

    first off, LOVE her shoes/boots thingies. I need some.

    The days that start off wondering “what the hell is my problem” aren’t my favorite either nor for those around me.

    Hope your fog lifts soon…

  • Xangelle

    I personally don’t see anything wrong with letting your baby see you sad from time to time. She sees you when your experiencing other emotions, and it’s a lot easier if she can understand (from a young age) that it’s okay to be sad sometimes too. It’s just another one of our emotions, and if we can embrace all of them, I think that we are or will be healthier in the long run. Being sad is not neessarily a negative thing, just like pretending that life is happy all the time is not necessarily a positive thing.

    I think that you’re doing fabulously. The early mommy years can be hard, but you seem to be moving right along.

  • BeachMama

    I try really hard not to cry in front of J either, it just upsets him too much and he is already a softie like his Mama. Sometimes those days just happen to be there and you will get out of it, just like always.

    And yes, love those booties/shoes BB is wearing, they are adorable. As adorable as she is in her tutu. Just make sure to throw a t-shirt on her next time and take more photos. One thing I am looking forward to with this little girl coming is putting her in a tutu, can’t wait.

  • DeeJay

    Awww…he’s already worried about her reputation as a lady. So sweet.

    Back in the 70’s my mother babysat Erin. Erin was a beautiful blond baby with big blue eyes. We all loved her, especially her daddy. Well her second birthday rolled around and my father was asked to document the day in pictures. Her mother and my mother dressed her and put her hair in a pony tail for the portraits. Erin’s father saw the prints later and expressed his dislike for them. Apparently they made her look too old for him. He didn’t want his little Erin growing up any quicker than she needed to.

    Daddy’s and their girls…a magical combination…most of the time.

  • Nicole Iwawaki

    I know about the sad fog…last week when I was feeling low and the kids were at school I went to see “waitress” at the theatre and bawled…it is not really a cry in the theater kinda movie..a wee bit but not like let-out-all-the-pent-up-emotion-you-have-been-storing-in-your-overtired-mama-heart kinda movie. Get yourself to a sad or not so sad movie my friend and the sad fog will be gone!

  • Katie

    Tutus! I LOVE tutus! When I was little, my mom and gram made at least twenty tutus for all of the girls at my bday party. We have home movies of a giant swarm of pink balerinas running around my yard. It is the best memory EVER!

    And I hope that you feel better. I agree with you. Gotta figure out what it is. I think that my recent fog is because I feel like a baby napping failure. It’s stressful, no?

    SAJ says: Wow! What a visual. I’m so ripping the swarming tutu idea off for a party someday. I love it! Girls rule.

  • bluejaye

    It might be okay if she sees you cry. It is normal. And you wouldn’t believe the hugs the kid will give you to make you feel better.
    The fog—mine was pre-menopause, but I am a whole lot older than you.

  • Heather

    Brenda don’t feel bad about sharing your sad feelings. You’re not the only one. I get the exact same way and my husband is like Toby. But my hubby doesn’t believe in depression so I don’t discuss those things with him. He doesn’t even know that I take anti depressants. But it’s good that you can pull yourself out of your funk on your own. Feel better and smile big.