Bug,  illos

high needs baby

I shouldn’t gloat. But I have to admit I am taking guilty pleasure in the fact that when I left Baby Bug with Toby for a half an hour today while I ran to the store, she screamed bloody murder the entire time. When I got back she stopped crying and wouldn’t let Toby get near her. He tried to make goo goo eyes at her while she snuggled into my shoulder and just the sight of him sent her into another attack of the shrieks. It’s like he pinches her or something when I’m not looking.

She loves me, that little squirt. I guess all the one-on-one time I’ve been spending with her day in and day out is paying off. It’s an amazing feeling to know that I’m her mom. I’ve never been anybody’s mom before. I’ve been the super aunt… but this is a whole new level of being loved. It blows my mind.

Baby Bug has a lot of personality. She’s very determined and she knows exactly what she wants. This causes me a lot of frustration all day long. If I want to get anything done I have to figure out how to do it and pacify her at the same time. If she decides that she wants to be draped over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes then I have to drape her over my shoulder until I think my arm is going to fall off. Nothing else will do. She won’t play nicely on her blanket on the living room floor, her crib gives her the heebie jeebies, her bouncy chair that vibrates and plays music is a complete waste of money and her changing pad is a fun place to hang out but I can’t leave her there without worrying that she’ll flip herself off it and face plant onto the floor. I’m getting very good at doing things with one hand.

But when she finally does fall asleep in my arms at exactly seven-oh-one, she is the most adorable little lump of soft breathing marshmallow baby fluff that you ever rested your eyes upon. I completely forgive her for being so difficult all day long.


  • Karen

    Aw, I want an adorable little lump of soft breathing marshmallow baby fluff too. I don’t know if that’s the best idea though since I’m 23 and unmarried and in grad school…although my mom has been saying that she wants grandkids for a few years now… Also, I love your writing and illustrations and pictures of Baby Bug of course. It sounds like you’ve made a fabulous mom.

  • Sarah

    Isn’t it great? To be loved so…I, too, feel a little giddy when F gives everyone else a hard time and then he is handed over to me and calms right down. There is just something about their mommies.

    As far as all the gadgets that you bought and she is not into, give it a little more time. Just now F is starting to become interested in other things – now that he is starting to grab things he can play by himself for a good 20 minutes or so on his playmat.

    You are doing a great job – I am totally impressed with how much you do.

  • Anna

    It is surely a high!! I have to admit that now when “J” wants only his Dad for a morning or to play with, I sometimes cry. I devote every waking moment to him and sometimes he wants his Dad??? It is separation anxiety for me ;). BUt, he still wants his Mom most of the time :)

  • erika

    aww, work it girl. you’re getting the hang of it, for now. you’re always learning as a mom so keep it up. also, you’re so good with color in your illustrations! :)

  • Steph

    I love your post’s!!! You go girl!!! All the gadgets in the world are not as good as mom can be!!! She’s sooo cute!! My friend just adopted a little girl that was born on Feb 16th….I’m so excited to live all this again through you and her….my kids are 5&11…the new baby phase is awesome!!!

    P.S. My daughter will be 6 this Wed…..well she’s sat in a regular seat belt the other day…..I didn’t have a booster…..so I guess I was BREAKING THE LAW also….I just love that song!!! LOL

  • lauren

    .. when mine were babies, my left arm got stronger than my right because i’d carry them with my left arm so my right hand was free to do things.

  • Tina

    Just a word of encouragment–today my son suddenly decided he liked his bouncy seat (after crying every time I put him in it the last two months). That was 15 minutes where I could eat as he sat and watched the lights/balls moving and drooled. It was nice to eat without holding him!

  • alaskalark

    Would you please put that image on a t-shirt or something? It’s so classic and tells the story (of all us moms) without words.

  • Stefanie

    I have one of those high maintenence marshmallow puffs myself.. isn’t it the greatest thing!! just a tidbit of advice.. take it if you want it, or tell me to shut up…. I would try to break the “holding” all the time and not wanting to lay anywhere thing now.. My daughter did the same thing and now at 8 months.. it is VERY hard to break.. I have a hard time getting through the day, she wants me to hold her all the time.. I wish I hadn’t done it in the beginning now… I learned the hard way!! You are doing a great job and she’s just sooo cute!!!

  • Sarcastic Journalist

    The loving feeling is cool. Sometimes though, I wish we could share the love in this house. With someone that isn’t me.

    Ellie was the same way as Baby Bug. Luckily, #2 isn’t and that is a GOOD THING. I highly suggest a sling.

  • Mama Knucker Hatch

    I second the suggestion for a sling or a Mei Tai. My little six weeker is also a high maintenance snuggle bub, who’s favorite place is up against my shoulder. A sling allows her to hang out up close to mommy while I use my two free hands to put dishes in the dishwasher, fold laundry, tend to bedtime for my older two, etc. She’s tummy to tummy with me and we’re able to make googly eyes at each other everywhere we go. The bonus is that the movement of being toted around the house almost always sends her into sweet sleep. Some infants just need a little extra excitement in their lives. Life is not boring when you travel up high!

    It has been said hundreds of times…your blog is excellent. Your descriptive comments like how your nursing bras can stand on their own, have me busting in laughter. You have a gift for expression and attention to detail, and Baby Bug has one fantastic mama! (And she knows it too.)

  • Sharlene

    I recommend a sling as well; it’s the handiest thing in the world really. If you think your heart melts now, WAIT. My daughter has the hugging and kissing and running into my arms while laughing down pat and it makes me melt every single time.