illos,  preg-nuts

Holly Hobbie and her Tree Trunk Legs

I was working away at my receiving blanket project when Toby walked into my office to see what all the buzzing and whirring was about. He’s usually oblivious in his office but I guess the sound of my sewing machine got his curiosity going. Machine noises can do that with him.

I show him all my nifty blankets with their neat mitered corners and he asks, “Where’s the stuff that goes in the inside? You know, the fluffy stuffing stuff? Aren’t you going to sew the other side on?”

“What?” I ask screwing up my eyes. “Don’t you know what a receiving blanket is? Are you thinking of a quilt? Because a quilt and a receiving blanket are two entirely different things.”

He looks at me like I’m speaking Greek so I go on to explain that a receiving blanket is a thin flannel blanket that doesn’t have two sides. It only has a rolled hem at the edges and it’s used for all sorts of things like wrapping the baby up or you can use it as a spit up rag or even a shield from the sun if you drape it over the top of your stroller. You wouldn’t want to use a quilt for all these things because they are a mother to launder and well, they are just plain too heavy. By the time I get to the stroller shade part, I can tell everything I’m saying is going right over his head but he has that glazed-over googly-eyed look and he says, “I’m so glad I married you. Please carry on with your Holly Hobbie party.”

My Holly Hobbie party!!! Is that what he sees when he looks at me?

Speaking of looking at me… (hardly a segway but I don’t feel like saving this illustration for another blog) I’ve been feeling very thick lately. I know it’s all in my head and probably prompted by the extra dose of hormones racing around in my body, but I seriously feel like my legs are tree trunks. I’m confused because I haven’t gained that much weight. Hardly the five pounds you are supposed to gain but when I look in the mirror I feel like I’ve gained 20. Toby must be secretly rigging my scale in the night because he’s sick of me complaining about being fat all the time. I know the pregnant body is “beautiful” and all… but I’m just not feeling the beauty.

I’m used to being able turn sideways in a mirror to get my best view (because I’m a hippy sort of pear shape and before this new development, I used to have somewhat of a flat stomach) but now even my side angle makes me look like a barge. I’m having issues with what is baby and what is my stomach, chubbiness and intestines being stuffed up towards my rib cage. When people touch my stomach and say things like, “Hello Baby” I feel like I should correct them and say, no that’s my fat you’re touching, the baby is down there… but that hardly seems appropriate. I guess it’s all just part of the growing pains. But don’t worry, I’m not all doom and gloom and fat. I think my new boobs look awesome.