I know I’m going to jinx myself by saying this, but I have been in a good mood for days. Maybe even months. It’s really weird. Tomorrow, a piano-sized cloud of doom will probably fall on my head but in the meantime I just wanted to raise my hands in the air and say wooo hooooo! This is really cool!
I don’t know what to credit it to. More serotonin from my medication? My hormones have leveled out for a brief moment? Money problems have sort of straightened themselves out temporarily… etc? Knock on wood. Is it that I found a new thrift store and bought a passel of new (cheap) clothes? Or is it that I’m participating in Inktober this month and having a lot of fun? I don’t know!
I love Inktober. It’s humbling to see how many artists are out there doing such a better job than I am. But at the same time it’s really really good to force myself to draw everyday. I haven’t drawn something every single day in October but I’ve hit a lot of them. It’s been eye-opening.
I’ve found that my biggest challenge is slowing down. I always rush my drawings. I don’t know why I think I need to draw like my sketchbook is on fire. I can barely stop myself from scrawling through them, spelling mistakes, smudging my ink…skipping detail work or shading, and then worst of all just posting carelessly without fixing lighting problems in photoshop or just scanning correctly. I’m in a mad rush, always. I think I’m afraid that if I slow down, the drawing in my head will never happen. Or maybe it’s just that I think my drawings are really funny and I can’t wait to share them. I think it’s more that. But the problem is that after I post them and check obsessively to see what everyone else thinks, I find all my errors all day long and kick myself. I’m very good at kicking myself. I am my own worst enemy.
In spite of my messiness and carelessness, some of the drawings I really love. Like this one of Bug with all her plants. She actually only has two plants but she dreams of getting more. The inktober prompt was “overgrown” so I drew her with an overgrown room full of plants. I love drawing my day dreams.
This was of the space kitties that I’m trying to make a *thing*. I should probably give it up.
This one I actually hated so much I archived it minutes after posting it. It looks better big but in my instagram feed it looks messy and stupid. I was trying to draw someone trapped inside an ornament (the prompt was ornament) but I could not be bothered to slow down to draw some depth. FAIL. I got the smushed nose right though, so there’s that! Heh.
This one I like even though it lacks shading and depth. Ghost was the prompt so I drew our “Garage Ghost” acting like Kramer from Seinfeld. The back story is that we always make jokes about the garage ghost because our garage door always swings open for no reason at all as if a friendly ghost were just swinging by for a quick chat.
I draw about the dogs a lot. They are my new kids now that I have teenagers who don’t like to be documented. Now I understand why there are so many crazy pet people in the world. I have drunk the kool-aid.
Right after I drew that one this happened:
Cody ate our chuck-it thing. We left to go to a concert in LA and we let them stay outside all night (it was totally mild weather and they were just fine) and apparently Cody got bored so he somehow got the chuck-it thing off the counter we have in the backyard and chewed it all the way down to the handle. I know he’s fine because he’s been acting completely normal and there were little tiny bits of orange plastic in his poop for two days afterwards. Dogs, man.
Here’s a photo of the giant ball:
Spreckles is so cute. My parents are coming home November 1st to get her. Even though I loved having her I’m kind of excited to see how she acts when she sees them again. I think she misses them a little bit. She’s a little tired of Cody and Whiskey.
About that concert, last weekend we went to a concert in LA and Payam surprised us by getting a hotel that night on Sunset Blvd instead of driving home like we usually would. It was super awesome for me because I love adventure and staying in a new place. Payam on the other hand regretted it and wished he was home in his own bed.
The next morning I dragged everyone to a Harry Potter-themed coffee shop. I was so into it. The kids were not. Are they ever into anything anymore? It seems like we have officially entered the stage of bershon. In a way it’s a good thing we took them because if Payam and I had gone alone I would have been moaning and complaining that this was perfect for the kids and I would be so sad that we didn’t take them. This way we did take them and guess what? They were meh! Ungrateful hooligans. But secretly I think they did like it. They just can’t let on that I have a good idea now and then because I am so dreadfully un-cool.
So that prompted this drawing for the word “ancient.” Is it the kids photographing skills or am I just getting old? I joke of course. I don’t care really. In spite of my drawings I have actually been in a really good mood for a long time and ancient filters on photos aren’t getting me down. I take tons of pictures of myself that I actually like. I think the secret is really smiling and having a genuine good time. It doesn’t matter if I’m fatter or wrinklier or this shape or that shape. I think it’s fun bubbling up from inside that makes a good picture. So that’s my goal. More fun. Let’s keep this good day thing rolling! Maybe I’ll have to make November and December a combined Inkember.
I didn’t really have anything to write about today so I thought I’d just put up some sketchbook drawings. (#noncommittaldailysajdrawings for those of you following along on instagram).
This year has been a really big year for me. So many changes!
The biggest change I’m experiencing is menopause. I now have my own personal cloud of humidity that I carry around with me on a daily basis. Have you ever experienced this? It sucks donkey balls. (Sorry dad. I know I should use another word but this is the most accurate.) I’ll be outside in the nice cool air, I might even have a sweater on, and then KABAMO! I’m sweating like I have a fever. It lasts a few minutes and then it floats off as if it never happened and I’m back to wearing a sweater and appreciating the nice cool air. So confusing! It was bothering me so much I actually went out and bought a small thermometer/barometer to keep at my desk so I could compare my whacky internal thermostat with reality. It’s bonkers.
I want to say I hate hot flashes but part of me is wondering if they are helping me burn calories. I’ve been losing weight lately and I’m not sure if these flashes are it or one of the other twelve things I’ve been doing differently lately. I’m sure if hot flashes do burn calories it’s only 2 calories a hit but hey! it sure helps to imagine that is what is going on when you in the thick of a sweaty cloud and hating life. I bet people would actually sign up for these stupid mini-fevers if they knew they were burning calories.
So back to weight loss: I seem to be losing weight after years and years of struggling and not losing any weight at all. Is it my diet that is much more plant-based than it ever used to be? Ask my kids. I am a nut these days. I’ll rattle on about greens and fiber and water for days. Everyone is sick of me.
It could also be that I work out with weights regularly now (only two days a week so my ripped up muscles can repair themselves) and I walk the dogs all over the planet. Cody has even lost 7 pounds which is good because he was putting on weight like only a golden retriever with a love language for food can.
Is it the particular blend of medication and vitamins I am on? I can’t really go into detail on this because it’s still private (I know, it seems like I share everything but I actually don’t) but it is a variable that could figure into the equation.
Anyway, it all adds up to a lot of healthy changes and outside of the hot flashes I am really happy about them. I finally feel like all those balls I’m always juggling are staying up in the air for a change and not dropping around me like rotten apples.
What else? Payam got a new job. The kids started school… All good!
We are so happy with Payam’s job. It’s super awesome and he’s happy. A happy employed boyfriend = happy life! Just kidding. Payam always has a positive attitude no matter what challenge he’s facing but I don’t. Having him in a secure job has significantly helped me with my anxiety. He always tells me that everything will work out but I have to admit I’m not always so sure. I tend to worry, doubt and fret. That’s my M.O.
So yeah! Things are good! Kids are back in school. Bug has a scary teacher. I talked about that already.
We went to the nail salon as a family the other day. It was fun. Joon is into wearing black, what else is new?
Ah yes, Kady. That blasted meow-ing cat. She meows all day long until I go and pet her and then lay down with her and pet her some more. Let’s just say I’ve finally become a napping person. I have never liked naps before. I hate naps! Until now. Maybe it’s a side effect of an anxiety disorder and menopause and not sleeping all that well on a regular basis. But thankfully I have Kady, my therapy cat. She is taking care of me in the most annoying way. I love her.