Bad Mom,  Bug,  illos,  Life Lessons,  Moody Blues,  Super Dad

Back to our Regularly Scheduled Programming

The quality of this blog post depends entirely on how much longer Baby Bug takes a nap. She’s already been down for an hour so I’ll be lucky if I can type for a half an hour longer.

She is so sweet when she’s sleeping. She’s sweet when she’s awake too but there is no way I can blog or do anything else other than pay attention to her when she is awake. She’s started to climb up on things and pull herself into standing position. Her favorite thing to climb is my wooden chair that I’m sitting in at my desk right now. There I am typing away, answering an email or something and I start to feel these little fingers on my lap. I look down and there’s a little person staring right back at me! Up! She wants up! She wants up in my lap.

I oblige and lift her up so she can see my desk and laptop screen. In my imagination I think we could type away happily with her sitting on my lap. In reality there is no such thing. She wants to eat my mouse. She wants to climb up onto my desk and slobber onto my keyboard. She wants my pencil and my cell phone and the tail of the cat that just happens to be sleeping near by. She doesn’t want to play quietly with her one hundred and one toys on the floor. She wants to play with my toys. The ones that have cords and plugs and go beep and click click. Silly Baby.

So where have I been these last few days? I have so much unfinished business to blog about. I apologize for leaving this blog in a lurch last Wednesday. Those of you who guessed pms were right. Blakety-blank you!! Why do you have to be so right all the time? Can’t a girl have a little mystery and dignity? Apparently not.

Apparently I can’t handle my emotions all that well either. Thankfully, I didn’t blow up at anybody. In fact when Toby called me on the road, after I just packed up and left town without so much as a note, I was calm cool and collected and told him I loved him and that nothing was wrong. Nothing is wrong. Ha!

Poor Toby. He is so understanding of me and my crazy zig zag moods. I told him how hard it was for me to distinguish between what was really making me upset and what was just my hormones making me super uber sensitive. He said he understood. “It’s kinda like being a teenager all over again, isn’t it?” he says. “You don’t know which way is up.”

He’s right. Now that I’m feeling like myself again I can’t for the life of me figure out what made me so upset in the first place. What, a little over-worked from housework and a demanding baby! Pshaw! What’s that! You can’t finish your freelance work and your clients are starting to get worried? That’s just another day at the office. Big deal! You don’t know what to fix for dinner and you have no money left in your checking account! Whoopti-doodle doo. There are people all over who don’t even have checking accounts! Get over it Brenda. Life is tough and then you move on.

So this is me moving on. I’m trying to keep myself “centered”… which reminds me of a funny story about a girl I used to work with. But I guess I’ll have to save that for another blog (along with the saga about the 70’s crib) because the baby just woke up!


  • Marissa

    Don’t beat yourself up for having a bad day (or a batch of bad days). You’re still human, you know – regular desk job-or-not!

  • gretchen

    I have been feeling SO unable to cope lately. And it’s not PMS this time. It’s just being a mom and having to clean the house because my husband’s uncle is coming to visit and also wanting to do things for myself like exercise, and, in my case, having to go to work outside of the home, (but having to work inside the home would probably be even worse)…

    Hang in there. Thanks for sharing all your talents with us on this blog- it always cheers me up!

  • Ninotchka

    I have had a HORRID time this year keeping my emotions in check. I know it’s hormones, but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting. It really is as simple as riding out the bad days and then counting your blessings. So I’m told by “the professionals.”

    ha ha ha ha

    Glad you’re feeling better!

  • Ariel

    I don’t even have a baby, and I have days just like that. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not the only one.

    The illustration is beautiful.

  • reddirtroad

    Aww. Like Ariel, I have no kids yet, but I do feel like that quite often. Sometimes I wish I COULD just run away. But life is meant to be lived and running away from it won’t allow you to experience or learn from it. So, we can only take some time for ourselves, regroup and refocus and then get on with the living. Because living life IS so much better, even if it includes a few overwhelming moments (or eight thousand).

  • Isabella's mom

    I remember when my daughter was small, like baby bug, it felt like in some ways that she was still as much a part of me as when I was carrying her, she still needed me, but now there was also the responsibility of feeding her, and changing her, and bathing her and her emotional needs. It IS draining. It’s exhausting. And your body is going through just as many changes this year, after having her as it did the year before, when you were carrying her. Maybe expect a little less from yourself, you know? Have a day when you don’t clean at all, except maybe wash the dishes. Just relax and play with baby bug and when she sleeps, you rest too or do something fun that you want to do. It’s okay.

  • BeachMama

    You have the best Hubby, sounds to me like Toby totally understands hormonal swings. Glad you are feeling better, glad at trip to the sticks worked out all the kinks. Looking forward to reading your sagas soon.

  • Susie

    I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better. I think what’s hard about hormonal swings is that just because you’re reacting more severely to things than you would ordinarily, it doesn’t mean what’s bothering you isn’t valid.

    In any case, it sounds like you’re refreshed after a visit with your family — we’re glad to have you back!

    (And I hope I’m forgiven for the initial PMS comment — I regretted typing it as soon as I hit “submit comment.”)

  • josephine

    Of course you are forgiven! You don’t even need to be forgiven… you didn’t even hurt my feelings… deep down, I knew you were right. No offense taken.

  • Dad

    Here I am in the Hotel lobby, laughing at the computer screen, people around me are looking at me funny. They don’t know I have the greatest daughter ever!! Happy anniversary!

  • Jennifer

    I love that illustration. I’m glad you’re back and feeling better. I REALLY understand hormones and emotions right now. I’ve been all over the place with mine and I think I’ve found a happy place at least for the next hour or two. Thank goodness Toby “gets” you. That is such a huge plus in a marriage. Looking forward to the stories you have yet to tell…