Slow Living: Part one of…

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I’ve been thinking a lot about my message here and what I should do with this website now that I have to sink it officially or swim with it. I’m not even trying to say that I have anything worth writing about. I hate even wasting time being so metta, but I do have the luxury of this space and willing readers who put up with my navel-gazing and cheer me on from time to time so it would be a shame not to have a message. So maybe I do have a message. I just have to find it. Right now it might be a whisper or maybe even silence.

The other day when I was in Washington DC visiting Bethany, she gave me a personality test to figure out what kind of INTPJ-whatsit-or-other LMNOP thingy. I’ve taken these tests a few times and I can’t for the life of me remember what personality type I am. And it’s not the first time I’ve forgotten. I think I’m blocking it out.

If she reads this I’m sure she will chime-in in the comments and remind me because she has the mind of a vault. I think we established that I’m not an extrovert, which is kind of surprising. I always thought I was but maybe I’m changing as I get older.

But who cares about that. The part of the test that stuck with me was a question revolving around my goals in life. It asked something like, Are you rigid in your pursuits or aimless? Aimless?!! What?! I’m not rigid but I’m not an aimless loser either.  The more Bethany and I discussed it the more aimless seemed to fit and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

I’m not aimless but I am pretty good at living in the moment. Maybe living in the present is a good thing. I am pretty good at seeing the positive in life and being okay with things that aren’t quite meeting some standard that I previously set.  I’ve learned that there is a positive spin to everything and believe me, I have friends who call me quite often for pep talks and to be reminded of what is good when everything is falling down all around them. I’m good at that.

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I think that’s my message. No matter where we are, no matter what we are caught up in, no matter how many bad things are happening, we can slow life down and appreciate the beauty in the every day.  There is always something to appreciate. There is always something pretty to take a picture of…The way the sun falls across the coffee table in long golden rectangles, the soft whir of a fan, the sound of children practicing violin together, the sound of one bossy child actually being patient and teaching the other how to play a whole note. It might not be music to my ears but it warms my heart nonetheless.

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I’m teaching myself to be okay with little things not being perfect. Paper plates are okay. I hate paper plates but I love the commercial they are running right now about being in the moment and enjoying each other’s company instead of worrying about who’s doing the dishes or how much of a footprint you are making on the planet. Don’t worry, I’m not consuming and throwing things away willy nilly but I am trying to appreciate the way things work out. There is beauty in a family coming together at dinner time and not arguing. The television might be on in the background, I’m still working on being okay with that. Discussions are lively and that’s really all that matters.

I threw out the meal plan this week and it’s been a little unnerving for me but the family seems to like it. I’ve noticed that everyone is helping out more. Is that because they are worried about my state of mind and trying to appreciate me more or is it just a coincidence and they really like being in the kitchen at dinner-prepping time or is it just because they are hungry and the suspense is killing them? I don’t know but I’m liking it.

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And that’s all I got today! I have to get my butt in the kitchen and make a pizzette!

9 Comments Slow Living: Part one of…

  1. Maddie

    I like the slow living direction. It’s nice to have a slow ramble on the internet when everyone else is furiously running from one place to the next. I think you may have just figured out the secret to life! #loveyourwork xxx

    Reply
  2. Clownfish

    OMGosh B, you are spot-on when it comes to noticing the little things. I’m totally in this zone. Time seems to fly and people do as well but if we just put on the brakes for a moment there is so much to enjoy. For me it’s a Cactus Wren poking it’s head out of a Saguaro cactus, another amazing AZ sunset and last but not least some amazing cloud formations. If you don’t pause and look, it passes you by.

    Oh ya, and what Jen said!

    Reply
  3. Emily

    What a thoughtful read to start my day, thank you.
    Although, I’m now considering that I may be aimless, other than surviving the day.

    Reply
  4. isaida

    I’ve struggled with my blog also. What to write, why I’m writing, etc. I’m liking your slow living posts. I may adapt something similar. I loved blogging when it was just sharing my day to day, no matter who read. My boys and hubby love reading old posts, so that should be my motivation to keep it up. Thanks for inspiring me

    Reply
  5. Tamara Lang

    I quit blogging a while ago, and I keep toying with trying again. I enjoyed it. I didn’t have a readership, but it did help me find people I like and have things in common with, and I liked having an outlet. I saw your comment about maybe sinking your blog, and I wanted to immediately yell no!!!! But I didn’t, because I don’t want this space to be a burden on you. I hope that if it provides you with something you need, you can figure out a way to keep it. But if it doesn’t then it’s time to let go, and we have to be okay with it.

    Reply
  6. Jeanie

    I think one of your gifts is that you write comfortably and therefore you are a comfortable read. When I click on your site I don’t know what I will get but I know I won’t get hammered with some kind of agenda, and I will always walk away feeling like I’ve sort of “talked” with someone friendly. There is an ease to you and how you put your life out there. I don’t know how to say it but you seem very kind and very warm. I like your pace, girl, and I hope you find a way to make this work for you but if you don’t, thank you for all the good talks over the years.

    Reply

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