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My grandpa died at 4am this morning.

I went to visit him yesterday, spurred on by your many comments and I’m so glad I did. Thank you for that. I wasn’t going to go because I thought it would be better to remember that moment of him smiling at Bug and leave it at that but I was wrong. I’m so glad I went. He was awake. He was lucid. He recognized both Bug and I. I hugged him and cried on his shoulder. I told him to say hi to Grandma for me and tell her that I miss her. I told him everything was okay and I babbled on about how much I like living in his house. I’m not even sure what I said or what he heard without his hearing aids. He smiled and kissed my hand and patted my head. At one point he even said Bug’s real name out loud. It was special.

They moved him to a new home for some reason I’m not entirely sure about. Something to do with medication and hospice care yada yada yada. I’m just glad I was there when they moved him. I don’t know how stressful a move was for him but I’m sure me being there made it better for him. I sat with him for a long while and then when he drifted off I finally went home. And then this morning my dad called me at five am to tell me he had passed on.

The funeral will be next Saturday I think. Family and friends will be showing up soon. The worst is over.


  • sizzle

    I am so glad you went. It’s important for the living and the dying to have those final moments. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  • erika

    sending love from over here, so sorry for your loss. thank you for sharing just some of the sweetness he experienced in his life. you and your dad look a lot like him! xoxo!

  • Ninabi

    I’m so sorry you lost your sweet grandpa.

    Someone once told me that we often have more regrets over things we didn’t do in life than those we did. You can carry in your heart that your grandfather was not alone and very much loved in his last hours- you did the right thing by staying with him.

    Prayers for you and your family in the coming weeks and months, for he surely will be missed.

  • Ziniania

    I have been reading your blog for a long time. I am very sorry for the loss of your grandpa that he was so close to you. Your grandpa is gone from this word but he lives in you and in your daughter. I wish you a lot of courage . Maybe if you plant a small tree in his memory it will remind you of him and will help you with the healing.

  • Jaynette

    Our thoughts are with you and your family.
    I have so much to tell you about my grandpa. I’ll tell you soon.

  • Taibi

    My Grandpa died this past Mother’s Day. I was with him at the hospice the evening before and am so glad that I was. He also had dementia and had been following a similar path of decline. Just wanted to tell you because I felt like we were going through all that together. Thank you for sharing your life, I’m a long-time reader.
    Big Hugs,

  • Sophie

    Sending loads of prayers your way! So sorry for this huge loss; thank you for sharing his story with all of us. best wishes

  • Kathryn S

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandpa, but so happy you had a chance to say goodbye. Your posts are so sweet and touching they made me cry. They made me think of my grandparents who are all gone now. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  • Lorie

    I am so glad that you went to share those final memories with him and I hope the funeral service was one full of love and great memories.

  • Heidianna

    So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I’m very glad you were able to visit with him, and will have that memory to cherish, along with all your other memories.

  • Clover

    Even when you know it’s coming, it’s always hard to lose someone you love! I hope your family all coming to the funeral will be a time of love and togetherness to help you with the mourning.

  • bethany actually

    I could have sworn I left a comment here already, but either I didn’t or it disappeared. Either way, you know I’m sorry for your loss and very glad that you got to spend that last time with your grandpa. Love you guys, and I’m thinking of you all and praying for you.

  • elz

    Peace to you and your family. I’m glad you got that special time with him. I know you and Bg will treasure the time you had. As my friend Pam says, may his memory always be a blessing.

  • Jeanie


    What a loss for you and your family. He sounds like a really cool grandpa.

    May you feel God with you as you grieve his loss.

  • Pamela

    I am so glad that your daughter has the memory of her great grandfather’s big wide smile. And she has been privileged to see her mother step up with love. So there has been blessing for now and for the future. In good times and bad, you are teaching her well. XX

  • Rae

    I’m thinking of you too, and so glad you have those last memories and sweet photos of Bug and her great grandpa together. I’m so sorry, it is such a shaky thing, even when you think you are expecting it. Love!

  • s

    I’m so sorry for your loss. What wonderful pictures and memories – I hope in time they lend comfort.

  • Chive

    So sorry for you and your family’s loss.
    Glad you got to say goodbye and wrap each other up in your love.
    Glad you are able to remember the good times together already, as well as the hard ones. His joy in you, in Bug, in life, shows very vividly in the photos, as does your love for him.

  • FishyGirl

    I’m so sorry for your loss, though I am glad you went and had that time with him. I’m sure it eased his way. Peace be with you and your family.

  • Linda

    So very glad you had time with your granddad and that you have so many great memories to remeber him by. Thinking of you

  • Amy

    I’m so sorry.

    My grandma died like that this past September. She didn’t eat or drink for NINE days. She was mostly unresponsive the whole time. I was far away, and spent the whole nine days not knowing when I should go. My sister, parents, grandpa, cousins, aunts, and uncles were by her side the whole time. It was awful. I ended up waiting until she died so I could be there for the funeral, since she was unresponsive and I knew *I* needed to be at the funeral. I totally understand that limbo state that seems to drag on forever no matter how long it actually is.

    Losing a grandparent sucks. :(

  • Alissa

    I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was a wonderful man and that you had many, many happy memories of him.

  • Beth B.

    I’m sorry for your loss – it sounds like you have wonderful memories of him. I’m glad for you that you were able to make a last visit with him and be there to comfort him for his move to the new location. Peace be with you and your family at this time.

  • Andrea

    I’m sorry to hear about your Grandpa, but it sounds that he at least had a good innings, and was much loved.
    It’s so lovely that you were able to have such a special relationship with him.

  • Angela

    I am so very sorry for your loss. You have so many wonderful memories to help you through this time, so glad you will have lots of family around you. Please take care.