The end of my visit here in D.C. is looming and I’m starting to get that gut ache of anxiety, knowing I have to go home and face some big scary changes in my life. I know good things happen to people who make them happen so I am determined not to let this low-lying fear get the best of me but it’s there. Of course it’s there. I keep telling myself that if anyone is capable of this big change, I am. But still, the doubts are vicious.
My friend Heather gave me a silver bracelet that says, “And lo, I am with you always” to remind me that I am never alone. God is with me. The bracelet slides up and down my arm all day long. I constantly find myself fiddling with it, sticking it inside my sweater, pushing it on top, twisting it around and around… I don’t really wear much jewelry normally and all this clinking and scraping on my laptop would usually drive me crazy but now I welcome it’s peskiness. The more I am reminded of this bracelet, the more I am reminded of why I am wearing it. Clink away, silver bracelet!
So while my anxiety is unrelenting, I am trying to ignore it and enjoy my last few days here. The baby has not come yet and we are all resigning ourselves to the fact that she probably is going to take her own sweet time. The baby’s room is painted (Thanks to Troy! I didn’t help at all. Boo hiss!) and a new dresser (which I helped pick out) has been assembled. It feels so good to walk down the hall and catch a glimpse of a sunny yellow baby’s room just waiting for someone to be born and claim it.
This weekend the Beach Mama family came to visit which was really really nice. I might think of this part of my life as a low point but really it should be a high point because now more than ever am I reminded how good it is to have a support network of really good friends who make me laugh and smile and enjoy the day-to-day.
I just wish they could have stayed a little longer!
I almost forgot to blog about our Thanksgiving dinner! We actually didn’t cook a turkey, we had ham. And we had Thanksgiving dinner the day after Thanksgiving because everyone was in various stages of being sick, not to mention we’ve been on baby watch and we didn’t want to be caught up in anything elaborate or complicated if we might have to rush off to the hospital at any minute. But Bethany pulled off some of her usual magic in the kitchen and we had a fabulous feast.
Oh my goodness these are so good. If you like butter, cream cheese, sugar cookies and pumpkin pie, you should definitely click over to Bethany’s site and get the recipe. They are wreaking havoc on my secret plan of getting down to a size six, I mean eight…ugh, never mind.