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painting in the sticks
I’ve been busy out here in the sticks. Busy painting. This is such a good thing. I was really worried about the gallery show coming up. Firstly because I don’t paint often and I’m not very good and secondly because I have no paintings! It’s kinda hard to have a show without any paintings!
So now I have some paintings. Yay!!!! I’m not anywhere near done but this is a good start. I’m starting to get excited about them too. I’m hating them less and less and even starting to become fond of some of them. They were fun to paint, like characters in my head begging to come out and play.
I was going to write a blog post about how I need to stop blogging for a while and focus on painting but I think that’s going to happen anyway. I don’t really need to make an announcement saying, “I’m going to blog less now.” Who knows, maybe I’ll blog more. Maybe I’ll blog about the ongoing progress. I’m just happy to report that I think I’m over that beginning stage where I’m so terrified of failure. Starting is the hardest part. I think…
I will probably hate them again and want to throw them all in a trash compacter and start over…but I won’t. I’ll just plug on through. It’s going to be fun. It’s all about the process not the end result right?
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travel with me down my road to failure…
Here’s my latest exercise in failure acceptance. It’s so pathetic that I’ve been given this amazing opportunity to have an art gallery showing (for a charity) but I don’t even paint! I mean, I have painted through the years but it’s not my passion. I don’t deserve this. I’ve had friends who painted twelve hours a day and had to be reminded to eat, they loved painting so much. Because I know I don’t deserve this, I am full of insecurity and feeling mighty intimidated. I don’t want to back out but I just don’t think I’m up to snuff.
I seriously think my niece Rapunzel could do a better job. I’m hoping that I can dazzle people with quantity instead of quality. Or maybe the silliness of my cartoonish style will show through and you’ll excuse the thick wobbly lines and smudgy edges. Part of me likes the messiness of these paintings. But part of me knows I can’t really get famous for it. It’s not like I’m trained to paint like Norman Rockwell but I just paint like a five year old for the fun of it. I just need practice. Like years and years of practice. But I don’t have five years. I have two months.
Now that I’m writing this, I realize it seems like I’m fishing for compliments. I’m really not. I’m just voicing my insecurity, hoping to take you all along on my journey towards this gallery showing that is probably going to happen whether I’m ready or not. Everybody likes drama right?