Bug is turning eight tomorrow. EIGHT! I can’t believe it myself. She has been everything I ever wanted in a child. More than I ever expected. She is every joy I ever dreamed of and more! She’s such an easy and good kid, I don’t know how I got so lucky. I’m waiting for her to turn into a teenager and suddenly become a holy terror and make up for how pleasant she’s been all these years.
Sure, she’s gone through a few whiney stages and then there was that one year that she tested out lying but lately I can’t complain about anything. I’m getting off easy in the mothering department. From age four to now she has been a dream child. She’s so much quieter than most kids. She doesn’t bounce off the walls or shout or bicker. She’s thoughtful and smart. She never needs help with her homework. All I need to do is sit her down and provide her with quiet and a snack and just does her work without complaint. She rarely talks back to me. She stops when I tell her to stop playing that silly cups song she’s so attached to. She reads and plays and hardly makes a mess. What kind of kid doesn’t make a mess when they play? She gets excited and will jabber on like a normal girl but she’s just such an easy child. I think God knew what I could handle and gave me an extra special care package for delicate mothers.
I’m holding onto that care package with all my might. I know it’s going to vanish before I’m ready. Life is going by so fast. It’s easy for me to get caught up in my work and friendships and spread myself thin. I’m guilty of that. I’m a very social person and I love my job. We have a very full life. Everyday we are doing something new and sometimes it seems like I’m just fitting her into the leftover space in my schedule. I don’t want that for her. I know I felt that way with my parents busy lives and I resented it. But here I am doing the same thing.
Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. I grew up to be a pretty motivated adult and maybe I learned it from them. I don’t know…
All I know is that the other day I was walking behind her at school drop off and admiring her healthy little behind thinking, she’s got her mother’s back side, poor kid. She’s not a little toddler anymore. I am not the mother of a little kid anymore. She’s growing up and she’s beautiful. I just want to treasure every moment before it’s gone forever.
This Blog is Dead
You know when I say something like, This blog is dead. I don’t mean it. I could never kill this space. I need it. And usually whenever I claim I’m going to do (or not do) something I immediately do the opposite and make a fool of myself. So I’m not killing this blog. I’m just saying that my life isn’t here anymore.
It’s kind of sad. I miss the bi-weekly updates. I hate the fact that I do everything on my phone now and all my photos are downgraded to the best that instragram can provide. But it is the reality of this time and space. Mobile is where it’s at whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing and I, along with everyone else, am there all the time. So if you have been wondering where I am and what I am doing, I suggest you get an instagram account and follow me there.
My life has been a whirlwind for a while now. My grandma died right after Thanksgiving. I didn’t have Bug this Thanksgiving (she was with her Dad and his family) so it was bittersweet that I got to be with my family and actually spend my Thanksgiving dinner sitting by my Grandma’s bed feeding her stuffing and turkey. I couldn’t ask for better memories of her in her last days.
The funeral was beautiful. There was a graveside for close family and it was really touching to see relatives that have not spoken for years standing together with tears running down their cheeks. There are so many feelings that center around the matriarch of our family. Good and bad all mingled together.
She didn’t want us to be sad. She wanted us to wear bright colors and sing songs. So we did. We sang and sang and sniffled and made jokes. It was family at it’s best.
My niece, Rapunzel (aka Amber), has been visiting us for a while now. It’s been nice to have her back around. She extended her stay extra long so she could get some dental work done here in Orange County so I’ve had a teenager in my house for a while. It’s been really nice. Built in babysitter, random house-cleaner, back-up cook, tv programmer… She watches Bug for me and gives her baths and washes her hair. I wish she could live with us full time. She also brought her cat with her so that’s been fun having an extra cat in the house for a few weeks. Good thing he’s a super sweet guy.
Wow. And Christmas happened too! I have some normal photos of that but I haven’t processed them yet. I don’t know if I’ll get to that. Toby came over and spoiled Bug rotten with all kinds of motorized remote control vehicles. This year was the year of remote controlled boats and hovercraft AND puzzles.
Blast that stupid puzzle! I bought it thinking it would be as much fun as last year but it has turned out to be a major pain in my behind. It’s a picture of a geisha girl and the flowers and patterns are so mixed and complicated, it makes your eyes cross just trying to figure out what piece goes where. I thought I would finish it by New Year’s eve but yet… still here it sits, cluttering up my living room floor. I think in another week I’m going to have to throw in the towel and box it up unfinished.
Lastly, I’m dating. I’ve met someone who makes me laugh and smile. If you haven’t heard from me this is why. It’s so new and scary for me. I don’t even know what I’m doing. Lots of people won’t approve so I keep it to myself. But just know that I’m trying really hard to be careful of my heart and other’s. So that’s where I’ve been. There are lots more details but I’m not ready to share. The best glimpses you’ll get are on instagram.