Fluff and Fold Baby

Today was another day of laundry fun. The excitement is killing you, I can tell. Oh boy…. I thought if I did laundry every week instead of every other week, I’d have half as much laundry to do. That would make sense. I thought wrong. I still had too much laundry to take over in one trip in the bugaboo. Where is all this laundry coming from?

One word: baby.

This time Toby felt sorry for me and decided to take us to the laundromat in his van. It’s just across the street, but when you have to make four trips with giant over-flowing bags of laundry, it’s easier to drive. The plan was he’d take the laundry over and I’d walk over with the baby strapped into the sling. But then Toby had to go and get paranoid about us crossing the street. He’s a very over-protective first time dad. But he does have good reason to worry about us crossing Pacific Coast Highway. It is a major highway and there are a lot of morons on the road.

I have to cross at a light and no matter how careful I am, there always seems to be somebody turning right and cutting me off either just as I’m about to step into the street or just as I’m coming to the other side. It’s scary out there when you have a baby. Everything seems like a potential life threat.

So we did something even more dangerous. I rode in the van, hiding in the back with Baby Bug strapped into her sling. I didn’t put her in her car seat. I didn’t put my seat belt on. I pulled a Britney and broke the law!!! I felt horrible for it too. Like I was just asking for trouble. Toby said it was probably safer than crossing the street in front of cars that want to run me over. We were only going across the street but still, I felt like that time I had to drive home from a party and I’d had one glass of wine. (I hardly ever drink so I’m paranoid) I know I can drive just fine but watch me get pulled over for a fix-it ticket and then end up with a DUI. Call me a prude but I worry about these things.

While Toby sang some song by Judas Priest about breaking the law, I cowered in the back and imagined a hundred and one ways that I could end up through the windshield with my baby. Of course we made it to the laundromat just fine and my worry was for nothing.

Toby says, “why are you telling the whole wide internet about that?” Because I have nothing else to talk about. For being the best years of my life I have surprisingly little to talk about. I did laundry ALL DAY TODAY. I started at 11am and finally put the last matched and folded sock away at 7pm. What a life.

Baby Bug was a very good laundry baby today. I call her my fluff and fold baby. I put her up on the counter where we fold clothes and she waved and batted at the bright sunlight coming in the window. She loves bright windows. When I carry her away from the window she cries.

She likes shadows and lines of light. I figured this out because when we go on walks, she talks to the moving shadows that criss cross on the canopy hood that shades her from the sun. When we go under a tree or into the shade of a building, she cries because her friends the shadows are gone. It’s the funniest thing. I used to feel bad for her because when she is laying down inside the bassinet of the stroller and I have the canopy up, she can’t see anything but red felt. She can’t see the sky or the trees or the ocean. Going for walks must be awfully dull for her, I thought. But then I realized she’s fascinated with the moving lines of light and dark that reflect on the bassinet walls around her. Maybe she will grow up to be a graphic artist.

Out and About in the Neighborhood

So many “firsts” are flying by and I’m too busy catching up on my sleep to record them! Now I know why moms always look so tired. It’s as if my life just sped up and everybody is talking really fast in mickey mouse squirrel voices.

Yesterday were two big firsts. A trip to the House of Horrors, I mean Doctor’s office, for a Hepatitis B shot AND our first walk around the neighborhood in the Bugaboo.

The trip to the doctor’s office was terrifying for me (Baby Bug managed to sleep through most of it). We went last week too (for an emergency visit to check out her infected umbilical cord) but this time it seemed even more scary. It’s as if I could see the germs crawling on the walls while we waited in the waiting room. So many people coughed, kids sat next to their mothers with glazed-over eyes of sickness, toddlers drooled snot, the sounds of weeping and wailing echoed from behind the dungeon door… It was horrible! Finally, after 20 minutes of breathing in all those germs, a really nice nurse lead us around to a private waiting room especially for newborns with immature immune systems. I think next time we have an appointment, I’m just going to go straight to the private waiting room and not wait for an invitation. I don’t care if they think I’m rude. Nobody comes between me and my mama bear instinct.

Baby Bug had an excellent check up. She grew! All those nights of tears, worrying that I’m just not getting the breast feeding thing, finally paid off! She gained 8 ounces! I guess you can still get nutrition even if you refuse to latch on correctly. Contrary to all the advice of the lactation nurses, my nipples are permanently in a scabbed painful wedge shape. They say round healthy nipples show a proper latch. I try and try and try to get her to latch correctly but it’s like fighting a badger. She’s all invisible teeth, spittle and mad flailing fists. I might have to go back to the clinic AGAIN… but at least she’s not starving! She’s actually right on track to being the most average baby ever, with a growth curve in the 50th percentile. Of course Toby says she’s only average in growth. He’s already got plans for her above average intelligence.

She squealed a bit when the doctor gave her a shot but I didn’t even cry. I thought I would. I cry about everything and a lot of other new mom bloggers have written about crying when they see their little helpless baby stabbed with a giant needle. I guess I’m tough. Or at least I think Baby Bug is. I knew she’d be fine even though Toby had to entertain me with the 101 things that could go wrong while we waited for the doctor to show up.

Toby is the worst. He knows just enough about the medical field to scare the crap out of you. And then he asks questions that annoy the doctors and nurses. Since we are with an HMO insurance plan, they want to move you in and out of the office as quickly as possible. Long complicated questions from know-it-all pre-med fathers are not really appreciated. Our doctor is really nice though and manages to answer most everything with a smile. I’m just worried that as soon as that door closes, he probably shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

After a successful doctor’s visit under our belts, we went home and I took a record long nap in the sunshine on our couch in the living room. There’s something about the sun warming you that makes you fall into the deepest
sleep ever. When I try to wake up, I feel like Gulliver in Gullivers’s Travels when he’s tied down with a million tiny Lilliputian ropes (correct me if I’ve got the names wrong). I really do feel like a million tiny ropes are pulling me back into the couch and opening my eyes is an act of strength I can’t muster. I never used to be like this. I could never take naps in the day time. No matter how tired I was, my eyes would stay flipped open if the sun was out. Not any more. I’ll sleep anywhere, any time for as long as the little Bug will let me. She’s a good baby and does take really long naps if I feed her properly. That’s probably why she gained so many ounces. I’m always trying to feed her properly.

And then! We took our walk! It was so great. The air was crisp but not cold. There are flowers blooming everywhere (since February is the new spring when you live in Southern California). We walked and walked and walked.

Our first destination was the library, so I could try and get out of $41 worth of fines I’d racked up since my books and rented dvd’s were due on the day Baby Bug was born. Unfortunately for the library, returning them just wasn’t a priority. The librarian reluctantly didn’t charge me but she gave me the mother of all guilt trips about it. “Couldn’t somebody else return your books for you while you were in the hospital?” she asked. I wanted to level with her and say, “Listen lady, when I was up to my eyeballs with a crying baby, bleeding nipples, stitches up the wahzoo (literally) and not sleeping a wink, I really couldn’t even think straight enough to ask somebody to return my books for me.” In reality, I did ask Toby to return my books for me almost every day but he just looked at me as if I’d just flown in from Jupiter or something. He hasn’t had a minute to go to the library either. So anyway, at the end of the day I’m not on the best customer list at the library anymore but I didn’t have to pay the forty-one bucks.

After the library, we walked through the park and did a little off-roading to test out the new wheels. I showed Baby Bug the playground but steered clear of any children for fear of more germs. We cruised down Whoorl’s street, but she wasn’t home. We stopped to smell the flowers and listen to the birds and then headed home with a song in our hearts. Or at least I was singing something like “Home again, home again. Jiggety jog.” Toby was so relieved to see us back in one piece. I think he’s convinced I’m going to step in front of a car or something. Crazy Papa.

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In other news: I’ve just found out that I’m sucking up way too much giggage from my friend who hosts this site for free for me. Does anybody have any advice/reccommendations on a new company I can get to host this site? I’m clueless. I might just have to start advertising to pay the monthly fees! Oh no! Say it ain’t so!!! It is, I’m sorry to say.