I’m so glad yesterday is over.

rose

Yesterday was not a very good day for me. This morning I walked down to the foggy socked-in beach and thought about it. The beach is a good place to sit and think. I really like it when it’s foggy. Somehow when the weather matches my mood, I end up feeling better. I would have sat there and thought about why yesterday was so awful for a long time but Baby Bug wanted to run down to the water and get her long pants all wet. There is not much time for feeling sorry for yourself when you are a mom. Not unless you want to lay awake at night and stare at the ceiling. I prefer to fall asleep.

I don’t really feel like blogging about it. It’s just the same old stuff that doesn’t deserve attention. Especially when I have so much to be thankful for.

As an after-thought, I could mention that Baby Bug has reached that stage where she says, “mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…” over and over and over and over all day long. This is not what made me have a bad day but it did sort of drive me bananas. Is this normal? Why does she do this? It’s almost as if she can tell that something is not right and she has to check in with me every second to make sure I’m okay.

I sure hope today is better.

my chocolate sand castle cake

Hey! In other news, I baked a cake! A sand castle cake. My northern California mother-in-law sent me this neat castle cake pan in the mail. It came with this really neat picture of a sand castle cake made out of lemon cake with lots of crumbly sugar all around it making it look just like a sand castle. But I’m the box mix sort of baker and all I had was a chocolate mix so I made a “freshly dusted with snow castle” cake. It was fun. Now I’m just trying to get rid of it. Anybody want to come over and have a slice of gable?

The sun always shines through

there I am, in shadow

I’m feeling better already, of course. I shouldn’t blog about these sad times because they always pass and usually pretty quickly. I don’t suffer from depression. I don’t even think I’m mentally ill! (Ha ha! Stop laughing.) I’m just moody. That’s what my mom used to always say anyway. My downs always follow highs and then…looptiloo, I’m looping right back into a high again. Which is great really because my highs are full creativity and they make me very very happy. Even though it might sound like it, I don’t think I’m bi-polar either. I’m just moody and I need to learn to keep it to myself.

Surprisingly, I did keep my sad fog to myself pretty well today (besides telling all you guys of course). Earlier, I turned around from my perch at the breakfast bar counter (aka my desk) and told Toby (who is sitting on the couch watching some incredibly boring show on PBS) that I loved him. Just out of the blue to, you know, keep him on his toes.

He says, “Why? What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to say something nice because I’ve been feeling crappy all day and I’m just so happy that I’m not feeling yucky anymore.”

He gets this stricken worried look and says, “You were feeling unhappy today?” He’s thinking, uh oh… I did something wrong and now I’m going to have to sit here and listen to her hash it all out for the next two hours…

Of course I waved him off. He didn’t do anything wrong. There’s no explaining “sad fogs” to Toby. They make no sense to him. Which is fine. I’d rather keep this to myself and my internet friends.

And then I cooked dinner.

the sun shines through

Stir fry. I’m sorry to any of my vegetarian friends. I’m sorry I had to show you that dead animal right there.