• Bug,  menopause,  out out out of the house!,  Tis the Season

    Descanso and THAT Face


    You know how it is when you look forward to something for months and then when that day finally rolls around and your kid is in a mood where she wants to wear the ugliest sweatshirt she owns, she refuses to wash her hair AND she makes THAT FACE every time you pull the camera out? You know that face where she pulls her chin in so that she has about three double chins? That face.

    Granted, double chins run in our family (it’s kind of hard not to have one) and she has had a camera in her face since the day she was born so she does kind of have a right to say enough is enough and rebel but….

    LE sigh. I am that mom who is bummed about THAT face. And the more bummed I become, the more she makes that face!


    So yeah. That day I was looking forward to was the day we went see all the pretty lights at Descanso Gardens. We’ve been three times now. I’m sad to say that I think with the latest addition of THAT FACE, I am officially done with Descanso Gardens. It’s still really pretty and I still really like it but the traffic is three hours of nightmare, the displays are all pretty much the same (not counting the ones that my middle-aged brain forgot about) AND the kids are officially bored of it. At least Bug is.


    Joon was a perfect angel of course. That’s how they are. When one is acting up the other turns angelic. When Joon is talking back and getting argumentative about something Bug turns into the sweetest kid ever. I guess they know I can only take so much OR they know they are getting points at the other’s expense.


    Anyway, Descanso was as pretty as ever. I was a little disappointed that there were no new displays. I guess I am spoiled from times before when they installed these really cool spinny lights.


    This time everything was the same. Funnily, my memory is crap these days (a side effect of menopause and a possible vitamin deficiency causing brain fog)  so many of the displays seemed new to me even though they weren’t . Of course my kids were very quick to answer in chorus that there was indeed NOT anything new and it was just my old fart dementia. My turn to make THAT face.


    Someday when I’d dead (and still paying for this site hosting with my book royalties) they will read these old words and wish they were nicer to me. Heh.

    Maybe they will or maybe they won’t but I do want them to know that I love them to pieces…


    EVEN when they make that annoying face and are ruining almost every photo!

  • crazy stuff,  diary illos,  Family Matters,  fighting the fat gene,  fitness,  menopause,  spilling my guts

    Menopause, mean teachers and cats who won’t shut up


    I didn’t really have anything to write about today so I thought I’d just put up some sketchbook drawings. (#noncommittaldailysajdrawings for those of you following along on instagram).

    This year has been a really big year for me. So many changes!

    The biggest change I’m experiencing is menopause. I now have my own personal cloud of humidity that I carry around with me on a daily basis. Have you ever experienced this? It sucks donkey balls. (Sorry dad. I know I should use another word but this is the most accurate.) I’ll be outside in the nice cool air, I might even have a sweater on, and then KABAMO! I’m sweating like I have a fever. It lasts a few minutes and then it floats off as if it never happened and I’m back to wearing a sweater and appreciating the nice cool air. So confusing! It was bothering me so much I actually went out and bought a small thermometer/barometer to keep at my desk so I could compare my whacky internal thermostat with reality. It’s bonkers.

    I want to say I hate hot flashes but part of me is wondering if they are helping me burn calories. I’ve been losing weight lately and I’m not sure if these flashes are it or one of the other twelve things I’ve been doing differently lately.  I’m sure if hot flashes do burn calories it’s only 2 calories a hit but hey! it sure helps to imagine that is what is going on when you in the thick of a sweaty cloud and hating life.  I bet people would actually sign up for these stupid mini-fevers if they knew they were burning calories.

    So back to weight loss: I seem to be losing weight after years and years of struggling and not losing any weight at all. Is it my diet that is much more plant-based than it ever used to be? Ask my kids.  I am a nut these days. I’ll rattle on about greens and fiber and water for days. Everyone is sick of me.

    It could also be that I work out with weights regularly now (only two days a week so my ripped up muscles can repair themselves) and I walk the dogs all over the planet.  Cody has even lost 7 pounds which is good because he was putting on weight like only a golden retriever with a love language for food can.

    Is it the particular blend of medication and vitamins I am on? I can’t really go into detail on this because it’s still private (I know, it seems like I share everything but I actually don’t) but it is a variable that could figure into the equation.

    Anyway, it all adds up to a lot of healthy changes and outside of the hot flashes I am really happy about them. I finally feel like all those balls I’m always juggling are staying up in the air for a change and not dropping around me like rotten apples.

    What else? Payam got a new job. The kids started school… All good!

    We are so happy with Payam’s job. It’s super awesome and he’s happy. A happy employed boyfriend = happy life! Just kidding. Payam always has a positive attitude no matter what challenge he’s facing but I don’t. Having him in a secure job has significantly helped me with my anxiety. He always tells me that everything will work out but I have to admit I’m not always so sure. I tend to worry, doubt and fret. That’s my M.O.


    So yeah! Things are good! Kids are back in school. Bug has a scary teacher. I talked about that already.

    We went to the nail salon as a family the other day. It was fun. Joon is into wearing black, what else is new?


    Ah yes, Kady. That blasted meow-ing cat. She meows all day long until I go and pet her and then lay down with her and pet her some more. Let’s just say I’ve finally become a napping person. I have never liked naps before. I hate naps! Until now. Maybe it’s a side effect of an anxiety disorder and menopause and not sleeping all that well on a regular basis. But thankfully I have Kady, my therapy cat. She is taking care of me in the most annoying way. I love her.