• artsy fartsy,  Family Matters,  illos

    Art Attack

    Art Attack

    Of all shows to take my mother-in-law to, did I have to take her to the local art museum on the day of the punk ass skater porn show? It’s not like she can’t handle a little nakedness and art. She’s very cosmopolitan. But the penises and the sucking and the crotch shots? Was that really very wise on my part? Maybe I should have done a little research before I planned this outing.

    I’m sure I was much more embarrassed than she was. She did date Jack Nicholson after all. It’s not like she hasn’t worn a topless bathing suit in her lifetime. It’s just that lately she’s been saying things about how the music nowadays is crap and that the kids wear the stupidest styles. I can only imagine what she was thinking as we gazed at a collage of Hustler clippings, while the sounds of shredding skateboards molested our ears from a video installation next to us.

    On another note, the picture above of the naked woman was actually drawn by my six year old niece. She could totally get into the punk ass skater porn show.

  • illos,  Life Lessons

    Cricket

    I’ve been sitting here in my towel for 47 minutes wishing Toby would wake up and become my knight in shining armor and get rid of the cricket in the tub. I don’t hate bugs, I just don’t like them in my shower, especially when I’m supposed to be in the shower. I know if I climb in there with him, he will jump on me with his hairy cricket legs. Ew! I tried everything. I even put the cats in the tub and chanted our old kitten mantra “get-tha-bug! get-tha-bug!” but they just looked at me like they were way too old for this crap, and hopped right out of the tub.

    So I sat and I sat, watching the minutes tick by. Then I illustrated (or mouse clicked badly) the cricket image above and wrote the first part of this post. And guess what? When I was done I went and looked in the tub and there was Pounce, eating the cricket for me.

    Who’s my knight in shining armor now!!!