the great bus adventure

I am the super funnest mom of the whole world. Why? Because today I decided to PUSH Baby Bug in her toy bus ALL THE WAY TO THE PARK!!!! (It’s about a half mile which would make it a whole mile round trip.) Why would I do this when the stroller works just fine? Because I’m a crazy whack job and I was bored out of my skull of the same old routine.

It was definitely not the same old routine. You get a whole new perspective on your neighborhood when you’re bent nearly in half and pushing a rattly little plastic toy over rough sidewalk and gravel. Here, let me draw you a diagram so you can see how this was done.

Yep. That’s me, bent in half with my butt crack showing for the whole world to see. These are the things you do when you’re a mom. Vanity goes out the window in order to save your sanity. You should have seen the looks I got from people passing me by in their cars.

It was fun actually. I even made a semi-lame movie (1.11 mb quicktime) of the whole debackle. Don’t be fooled by the epic music. It could be a great movie but I didn’t film very much because, as I said, I was bent in half and it was tiring! Also, I didn’t think ahead and realize that this would make a great blog post later on. So watch the movie but don’t get your hopes up for any great comic ending. It sorta just peters out.

Of course, you know what this means now. It means every other day after today, I’m going to be the most super boring mom of the whole world because we are not pushing the bus to the park ever again.

The Desk that Exploded!

The Exploding Desk story is not as exciting as you think it might be. It was certainly exciting when it happened at 11 o’clock at night when both Toby and I were just passing the peaceful sleeping-baby-hours by cruising the internet and playing on our computers.

It sounded like a bus suddenly fell out of the sky and knocked over a metal bookcase full of glass jars of nuts and bolts. IT WAS CRAZY. I remember sitting here at my breakfast bar desk thinking, we don’t have a metal bookcase. Poor Toby. He about had a heart attack. He was sitting AT the desk when it exploded. It didn’t just shatter either. It shot glass shards in every direction, down the hall and even scared the spaz cat who never leaves her post under the bed. The only spot in his room that wasn’t covered with little pieces of glass was the negative space behind where he was sitting. So that means a sheet of exploding glass bounced off his t-shirt and didn’t cut him! Talk about punch to the gut when you’re not expecting it! He did get a small cut on his forearm but nothing serious.

I can only imagine what might have happened if the baby was awake and toddling around his room when this happened. She could have been blinded for life and won a scholarship to any college of her choice from IKEA. I’m so glad she wasn’t there. Of course it woke her up and she cried bloody murder anyway but that’s to be expected when you’re sleeping peacefully and a bus lands on your house.

That pretty much wraps my story. Desk explodes. Toby finds a big piece of cardboard to cover spot where his keyboard sits and carries on. The end.

We bought the desk seventeen million years ago. We don’t have the receipt. I googled them and found someone to contact at IKEA but that proved absolutely useless as they sent me back an auto-form email saying: nothing, nothing and nothing and something about my email being legally exempt if I share it with anybody. Pffft.

At some point when Toby’s not so swamped with work (on the eleventh of Never), he will probably take some pictures into our local IKEA and see if they’ll do anything. I doubt they will.

In the meantime we are boycotting IKEA and never ever buying anything with a glass top again. EVER!