• illos,  Life Lessons

    good karma cards

    A wise old aunt once told me that if I ever overheard someone saying something bad about me, it was probably something I needed to hear. I took this to heart and listened intently to see what people were saying. Lucky for me, I never really heard anything. I took this to mean that I didn’t need to learn any hard lessons and that everybody liked me. But it could just be that I have really bad hearing.

    Well, lately I heard something and it stung to me the quick. Yikes. I’ve been mulling it over in my head like a pebble in my shoe that I just can’t shake out. Why must I waste so much brain power on some little insult that was probably just said in passing and never meant to hurt me? The thing is, it was said about Baby Bug. What was said was totally untrue and mostly harmless but it got the mama bear in me growling and I’m learning a lot about myself.

    Who knew kids could bring this out in me? I feel like I’m back in first grade and the big kids are picking on me. I’m so ready to fight the baby insulter at the bike racks, it’s not even funny. I have never ever been so protective and competitive about anything as I am about my child. I know it’s survival instinct and probably necessary so that I can take the best care of Baby Bug possible but I never realized it would turn me into an evil seething tomahawk wielding banshee. Do banshees wield tomahawks? Anyway, you get the picture. I’m not sure this is the lesson I need to learn here but it is hard for me. I’m just not the happy-go-lucky little daisy I used to be.

    And because I think I should chase all negative with positive, I have a present for you! A downloadable Christmas card! Woo Hoo! I was going to sell these (there are a series, just to keep you coming back) but I couldn’t get my act together to get them printed in time. So I’m giving them away. Because I can! Because I need some good karma! Because this is the website where you get more! Whatever.

    Thanks for reading, dudes. Here you go. Grab yourself some nice quality card stock, print, cut, fold and viola! a free christmas card! Now you just need an envelope, an A6 should do it.

  • Tis the Season,  travel

    home again, home again

    On the way home we stopped at Clendenen’s for some fresh apple cider and maybe a snack for the baby. We always stop at Clendenen’s (when it’s open, they close during off season). I remember stopping there with my parents when I was a little girl. I remember that the only way my parents could get me to take some awful tasting medicine was to bribe me with a quick swig of cider as a chaser. Clendenen’s is awesome.

    Unless of course you’re a baby. They’ve got nothing for babies. Honey? Nuts? How about a fresh uncooked yam or an onion? Unpastureized apple juice? I don’t know what we were thinking that we thought we could find a snack for the baby at a fruit stand. We ended up buying some Loleta cheese and shaving off slivers of it with a plastic knife. That worked pretty well.

    Since the baby was starving, we had to stop at McDonald’s further down the way. I love McDonald’s. Toby hates McDonald’s. He wiped down the table we ate at about five times and still he wasn’t okay with the baby eating a french fry off it’s greasy plastic surface. What Toby doesn’t know is that I’ve fed Baby Bug greasy hamburgers twice since she’s been born and I let her eat it off the table. I know, disgusting but sometimes you just have to choose your battles. I let her eat sand, what’s a little fast food bacteria? Probably pretty bad but so far she’s been perfectly healthy (if you don’t count the nasty rash on her chin that I swear is from teething).

    Anyway, Toby made me order a chicken sandwich instead of my favorite two cheeseburger combo deal and the chicken was slathered in disgusting white mayo sauce. Ugh. So now he still hates McDonald’s because on top of serving “meat matter” they also slather on the “white man sauce” aka mayonnaise. Oh well. Whatcha gonna do. The baby loved her french fries. She didn’t really like the chicken though. I think she was full of Loleta cheese and itty bitty dried fruit snacks that I keep handy in my purse.

    So we’re back now and life goes on. Phew! Where to begin….

    1. unpack many many suitcases
    2. forklift laundry into one common place for mountain climbing fun
    3. throw out moldy food from ice chest and refrigerator and nooks and crannies of van
    4. clean moldy coffee pot and brew a pot of the strongest wickedest caffeine loaded coffee in house
    5. fish baby out of many many suitcases
    6. rescue baby from moldy food inhalation
    7. pet needy clinging whining cats
    8. pet needy clinging whining baby
    9. take a shower
    10. shave mile long underarm hair that grew during trip because of forgotten razor
    11. find something clean to wear other than mismatching pajamas
    12. go grocery shopping to restock mold free empty fridge
    13. think of something brilliant to cook for dinner so as to not miss father-in-law’s cooking too much
    14. get a tree for Baby Bug’s first Christmas before Christmas gets here!