Here is a quick July recap so I can move on to August. I can’t believe a month has passed and I’m already halfway into the next. It really is true that time speeds up the older you get—and I don’t even have kids to keep me chasing my tail anymore. I’m as good as retired and somehow manage to fill my days faster than ever. That’s a good thing, right? I’m never bored. Honestly, I kinda wish I would get bored now and then, just to feel time passing.

At the beginning of July, I flew up to see Matt for a week-long visit. A week seems like nothing now that I’ve spent a whole month with him this past April. We hit all of our favorite haunts and found a few new ones too!

Cappuccinos in North Beach, of course.

Salt Bagels at my favorite bagel shop, a walk to Cesar Chaves Park to see all the dogs, then back to another coffee shop. I like to visit all the coffee shops—and there are so many to see!  After watching some highly technical coffee roasting, we walked across the street to what we thought was a pickle shop. Matt loves pickles and I love adventure, so I was excited. But I had no idea what it actually was.

We walked in and saw a long table with three or four chefs fussing over pots and plates of mysterious things. “Come in! Have a seat,” they said, motioning us to a spot. Matt and I were completely confused. Was this a cooking class? A restaurant? Both? They handed us a menu and since it was lunchtime we said, “Why not!”

We were in for a treat. Everything was pickled—as in the verb. Not a jar of cucumbers in sight. Pickled watermelon rinds, pickled agar, pickled rice, aged this and that, kimchi, hummus—so many flavors! They gave us a a gorgeous bowl with maybe twenty plant-based items, each bite completely different. I ate my way around the bowl clockwise and it blew my mind. If you’re an adventurous eater, I can’t recommend The Cultured Pickle Shop enough.

We visited the Ferry Building Marketplace and of course our favorite restaurant in Berkeley. Since we don’t see each other often, we spend our time together doing really fun, fancy things. I get the best of both worlds: fancy dates with the man I love, and the rest of my life in the regular chaos of the desert with my parents. Not conventional, but it works for me.

I do miss the bright desert sun when I’m in the Bay Area—and when I’m home, I miss the cool misty walks and fancy restaurants.

Back at home = garden time and July was a very productive month for our zucchini and tomato plants.

Amari, my great niece, came to visit. We played in the garden and made homemade pizza.

We went back-to-school shopping since Amari starts kindergarten this year. It’s a huge deal. I don’t know who’s more excited—me or her! Her mom had a couple crying spells over how fast she’s grown up already.

We also played with Rapunzel’s new toy: reusable water balloons. When I first heard of them I didn’t get it. Why? But after playing with them FOR HOURS, I concur—they’re one of the best inventions ever. The three of us threw rubber balls filled with hot or cold water from the jacuzzi or pool like it was a war of giggles. More fun than a snowball fight and no refilling mess! Rush out and buy them if you still have pool days left this summer.

My mom and I also successfully planned and executed a tea party event for the 55+ community where we live. It was up to my usual over-the-top standards and the community was happily wowed. We only charged $10 but gave them a full-scale tea service that could easily have cost $100 per head. Cucumber and cream cheese, chicken salad, raisin bread and apricot jam finger sandwiches, savory chive and cheese scones, fruit scones with lemon curd, croissant bites, “gentlemen’s egg pots” (my dad’s famous sous vide egg bites), tartlets, petit fours—and of course, lots of tea, hot and iced.

Lots of things went wrong too, but nobody noticed (per usual). We’ll do it again in the spring, and hopefully I’ll get more close-up photos of all the details. I was too busy this time, so my camera didn’t get much action.

I don’t even remember which trip to Orange County this was. I drive in once or twice a month to help my old neighbor with cleaning and organizing. The traffic home can be awful (anywhere from an hour and a half to three hours at worst), so sometimes I kill time before heading back. This time I visited the beach and chilled my feet—a much-needed brain reset.

Does anyone have tips on elder care? My neighbor is almost 80 and a fall risk. She lives upstairs, which is a huge challenge. She was in a serious car accident in her 20s and has suffered chronic hip and back pain ever since. Getting up and down the stairs is hard, but she’s very independent and still drives (probably better than me, honestly). I take her groceries up for her and haul her laundry up and down.

I love helping her, but three things challenge me: her OCD, hoarding, and the fact that she keeps her apartment at 80 degrees. I love her dearly. She’s a very good friend, and I know she’s lonely and loves company, but I find myself dreading my visits because I sweat so much and feel like we never make progress on the clutter. The mess makes the paths in and out of rooms almost impassable. I know I’ll have to have a heart-to-heart talk with her soon, and I’m sad about it. I can’t stop helping, I can’t leave her with no one—but I don’t know how to keep going.

One thing I do look forward to is the “Doughnut Crawl” project my cousin and I started. I’m so happy I have a friend in Hemet—and a built-in one at that. Family in your own age group is optimum. I’ve always been jealous of Matt having a twin brother, so I’m very thankful for my cousin.

We used to walk once a week, but when it got too hot we opted for doughnuts instead. Logical switch, right? It’s easy and doesn’t cost much. There are so many doughnut shops in town we figure it will take a while to hit them all. Part of our crawl is a rating system: freshness, variety, Instagramability, decor, friendliness, and of course, restroom quality. Results have been mixed, but the doughnuts have all been delicious. I personally rate the apple fritters—and I haven’t met one yet I didn’t like.

After the doughnuts, Jacob shows me around town since I don’t get out much. I’m usually busy at home or off cleaning houses, not sight-seeing. We drive around to old places we knew as kids, and we’ve developed a weekly challenge: spotting couches in fields.

Surprisingly, there are a lot of them. Probably because Hemet still has lots of fields, and plenty of people who don’t want to pay to dump oversized trash. I probably shouldn’t be sitting on random dirty couches, but I’m taking one for the team. I think it’s hilarious.

I’ve also been eyeing this mansion next to a hill since I moved here. It looked like a perfect bed-and-breakfast—I could already see the letterhead! Jacob and I finally decided to investigate.

Up close we were disappointed. It’s abandoned and stripped of wiring (a common thing around here). Trash everywhere, and the closer we looked, the sketchier it felt.

We’re pretty sure it was a grow house. There were poster boards with notes on different plant strains in detailed scientific language, plus a mountain of bamboo grow sticks. Either the past residents were nuts about orchids, or they were growing marijuana. Given the state of the place, I’m betting drugs. We decided to get out before we stumbled across squatters too.

But look at this homemade built-in pool with a waterslide! Somebody had big plans. I wish I were a billionaire—I’d buy the place and turn it into a real bed and breakfast.

Since I don’t want to leave you with an ugly abandoned pool picture, here are some typical desert sunrises instead:

Pretty and more pretty—I’ll never get tired of skies like this.

And sunsets are nice here too.