In a Funk in Hemet

I’ve been in a funk lately. I have it scheduled on my google calendar to watch for seasonal depression this time of year (and not let it sneak up on me like it has in the past) and I think it’s happening even when I live out in the desert where the sun shines.  The mornings are foggy lately. Sometimes it burns off to be a bright pretty day and that cheers me up but I’ve lost that lovin’ feeling I had when I first moved here. I still love it here. I’ve just been feeling stagnant. Maybe I just miss the Bay Area and Matt.

I still get up and attempt my daily routines. I rescued a lizard that had gotten stuck in a metal trash can. He was so cold in the morning that he stayed on my lap until he warmed up. Then he scampered off without even saying goodbye or thank you. I like to think he remembers me but he probably doesn’t.

It IS pretty here! What is my problem??? I think someday I should organize an artist retreat in the spring so morning people like me can go sketch flowers or desert life. I wish I had a sketch club out here but no luck so far. I do have a book club that meets once a month for snacks and not reading books.

Inky makes life better. He makes my nose stuffed up in the morning but his purrs are worth it.

I was out in the back yard taking pictures of my Barbie dolls when I heard my mom tell my dad that I was off “playing with my dolls.” They think it’s cute. I think I’m a little pathetic. I don’t play with them per se… I just pose them and take pictures for instagram. Is that more grown-up? Who knows. I have such a weird life here. I’m half retired. I’m half loser. I clean houses for money and I cook and clean for my parents. I goof off with dolls and do hobbies when I’m not mopping floors and cleaning catboxes like Cinderella. I miss my kid who used to be my full-time job but she’s off being independent and wonderful. I don’t know…I just feel lost.

Mmmmm… springtime orange blossoms, the scent of my childhood.

It’s been gray lately. All the images above depress me.  I’m not bored of the desert, I still love it but I feel stuck. Not having a car makes me dependent on other people and I feel like I’ve lost hours and hours of freedom. I miss my car. I really loved her.

Bug did surprise me with an early Mother’s Day date when I was in Orange County. I was so surprised when she showed up with the prettiest Trader Joe’s bouquet and a little pink tote bag. I am spoiled.

One project I’ve completed lately is this letterpress tray – shadow box painting job. I read somewhere that these old letterpress letter trays will be the most coveted interior design piece in 2025 and I thought, hmmm!  I’ve seen them over the years and never really felt the need for one but once I saw that article, it haunted me. I priced them on eBay and Facebook Marketplace and they seemed expensive. I told my friend Tamie and she hunted down a bunch of them for me. Now I’m owner of seven letterpress trays! I didn’t want to paint them, they are so charming in their old wooden patina but since I have so many, it took some of the guilt away. So now I have a place to keep all those tiny toys that seem to magically collect around my computer monitor. I’m not sure it’s really my thing but I do love miniatures. I need to cut out some of the boxes so my Lego figurines don’t have to lay sideways but the funk has kind of taken the steam out of my motivation.

Hopefully next post I’ll be back to my happy self.