Happy 19th, Bug
As I’m going through my old posts, I’m struck by how odd it is that I had time to blog when I had a baby. Who has time to blog when they have a new baby? And before that? I blogged my way through Paris!!! But now that I’m home alone for days, I don’t have time to tell a story or two?? Something is wrong with this picture. I have a lot of theories. I’m looking at you, phone.
Yesterday was Bug’s nineteenth birthday. Poor girl, she got broken up with by her boyfriend on her birthday. I hope I’m allowed to write that here. I don’t think she reads, but I try to respect her privacy most of the time. It wasn’t too terrible because she knew it was coming, and they’d only been dating for four months. But still, on her birthday!!? That’s pretty crappy.
We’d planned a dinner date months before this, so she would hang out with me on her birthday no matter what. Even so, I was happy we already had plans. I’d be even more upset if she were alone on her birthday.
The thing about Bug that I am proud of is that she doesn’t expect a lot. I remember the first Christmas that I couldn’t afford to get a “good” present. I felt horrible like I’d “ruined Christmas.” But it wasn’t a big deal to her. She knew I was struggling to make rent, and we did something else fun. She’s always been cool about it. That was a big parenting breakthrough for me. Kids don’t care much about presents (or at least my kid). It’s more about quality time and attention. Since I’ve been unemployed off and on for the last three years, I’ve got quality time in spades.
So yesterday we did some errands, we went out to an early dinner, we cheered with some virgin margaritas, and THEN I took her to practice driving!!!! This is a really big deal. She never got her driver’s license in high school. She didn’t have time, wasn’t motivated, was afraid of driving, etc., all of the reasons that kids these days don’t get their driver’s licenses. I get it. I’m terrified of driving myself. Traffic and freeways are scary!
What is so remarkable is that she’s been taking the bus everywhere. When she moved in with her dad, supposedly because I wouldn’t drive her everywhere and let her down when I was working, I thought her dad would drive her everywhere instead. Nope. He’s a hard ass. He makes her take the bus. And she does! I never took the bus as a kid or as an adult. I hate to admit it, but I’m afraid of buses. I don’t know how the routes work, and I don’t like strangers. The one time I did take a bus to the beach when I was a teenager with a friend of mine, it took us three hours to go twenty-five miles!! I love subways, but buses are lost to me.
I digress. My point is that she took the bus to the DMV to take her own permit test, AND SHE PASSED IT! She called me up afterward, and we squealed like little pigs. I’m so proud of her. She’s probably hating me for writing this, but I don’t care. This has been a thorn in our sides for a few years now, and the fact that she is self-motivated to do it makes me happy. She did nothing when I nagged her continually, but when you leave her to her own devices, she got it done.
She got in my car, backed it up out of the parking lot, drove it down the street, and then we proceeded to drive around a parking lot nearby. It was great. She was timid at first and hit the brakes a little hard, but she got the hang of it. As we were driving down the aisles between parking spots, I noticed a pinecone. Try to hit the pinecone, I said. She missed it. She drove around again, missed it again. Now, she was getting determined. We agreed that it’s kind of like a video game. She went around that parking lot probably ten times and finally hit the pinecone with a satisfying crunch. We were so happy!
There was one car parked in the lot that was a little suspicious. The back windows were tinted, the front had a sun visor. The sides had some towels hung from the rolled-up windows. I think someone was sleeping there. I feel bad for interrupting their peace with strange driving behavior, but I don’t care. It was a moment. It was a proud mom moment.
We might not have big parties or fancy trips anymore, but we still have some pretty great moments. Quality time for the win!
4 Comments
Lauren
Happy birthday Bug!!!!!!! I’m sorry that her ex has terrible timing. Yikes. But I am so so glad you girls got to be together and celebrate and the satisfying pinecone crunch. I am going to miss hearing your stories so much <3
Cathy
Nice- you found time to blog, yay! Glad you were able to get together with Bug for her birthday – any celebration is a good one. I loved reading about your party planning every year for Bug’s birthday, then the trips – they’ll come again one day, I’m sure! In the meantime, there’s a young man who needs talking to…yeesh. Maybe some single time for Bug will be a nice growing time. And anyone who doesn’t treat her like the smart, creative young woman she is, doesn’t deserve her anyway. Hope you find time to blog again before too long! <3
Geraldine
I LOVE this story!
Heather
Time together is the best thing we can do for our kids. So glad you had this time with her.