Guess what time it is?! It’s time to pack up and go to BlogHer!!! Wooo Hooo! This is my first time. I’m a “blogher virgin.” Oooooh. Scary. I know everyone is probably sick of hearing about blogher this and blogher that…and I’m sorry to be yet another mouth spouting off but I have to write just a few things because I’m a tiny bit nervous.
However, unlike everyone else, I do not have any social anxiety disorders. Wow. Can you believe it? Three cheers for not needing meds! (Or three cheers for denial, either one.) I’m actually pretty good at small talk and I’m super-excited to be in the middle of a big noisy crowd! If there is really good music at the parties, I might even bust a move. I can’t promise that I’ll be a good dancer. I might smack you with my flailing “butterfly arms” but I’m not shy, usually. (Is there even going to be music at the blogher parties?)
Of course there was that one time ages and ages ago when I went bowling with the after-work crowd and I started getting really insecure when all the Hottie McHotties of the office showed up with their own engraved bowling balls and matching team shirts. And yes, I sort of um…snuck off and hid in some long dark maroon-carpeted hallway until the cops came looking for me. That was a bad moment for me.
But I’ve moved way way way past that. That was like fifty million years ago.
I think the hardest thing for me now in social situations is just not talking loud enough. I have a really soft voice that sounds loud in my head. You hear mouse squeaks and think I’m shy and demure but in my head I am shouting like a big attention-seeking maniac. It’s really hard for me to project for some stupid reason. So sometimes I just don’t talk at all because no one can ever hear me.
The other thing I’m worried about is that there are soooooooo many people I want to meet! I think I’m going to go crazy! I’m going to be that social butterfly whom everyone hates because she yappity-yaps so much and is distracted all the time. “Hey look there’s so-and-so gotta run!” I hate that. I’m going to try really hard to listen well and not explode from over-excitement.
The other thing I’m afraid of is that I’m going to blank on people’s names. Some of you comment every day and you really are a huge part of my life but I’m scared that when I meet you in person (and you better introduce yourself to me because I do want to meet you!!!) my brain hard drive is going to get stuck on search mode, trying to remember who you are, and I might crash and have to be re-booted.
That is one thing I really am ashamed of on this site. The fact that I don’t emotionally invest myself in my readers as much as you do in me. It’s all I can do to put a post together a few times a week and check on my family’s many many blogs. I try to get out and about to read your blogs but often I do not. I’m always getting surprised when I find out someone is moving all the way across the country or they just had a baby and I had no clue even though they had been writing about it for half a year.
I want to apologize for that. It’s something that I’ve thought about a lot and a choice I have made to keep my sanity. Maybe someday when Baby Bug is in school I’ll be a better blog-reader and commenter but for now I’m mostly just a one-sided blogger. So feel free to slap me upside the head when you meet me in person. I deserve it.
There you have it! I can’t wait to meet everybody. If you’re going to be there, please introduce yourself in the comments so I can study up and not be such an idiot.
A word about the illustration…I had this daydream that if I had a GIANT yellow bag I would feel less insecure about myself because you all would be dazzled by my bag. Just think of how handy it would be in photos. Everyone would say, oh there’s SAJ and her giant yellow bag! But sadly, I do not have a giant yellow bag. So it’ll just have to be in my imagination. I guess I could steal one from Ikea but I don’t want to do that and besides those bags are noisy and crinkly. I’ll survive. I’m tough.
Also, I’ll have my trusty sidekick cc with me.
Isn’t it a nice day to play…CROQUET!? When I look at these pictures, I feel like I’m writing a parody post for stuff white people like. I’m sure you can play this game in the inner city too (if you can find some grass to stick your little hoopty-hoop thingys in) but whenever I think of croquet, I always think of stuffy white people wearing summer sweaters and sipping lemonade on the lawn.
Which is why we were playing it at Whoorl’s house!
Just kidding! Whoorl is a hoot, as I’m sure you know. There is nothing stuffy about her. I want to move to her street. There are three or four houses that have lush green lawns butting up to each other and when the sun starts going down, everybody comes out of their houses and just hangs out outside. They talk and joke and their kids play together on the lawn. People bring you cocktails just because you are sitting there. It’s like the American dream come true over there. Sometimes music even comes out of the sky and the credits of your life start rolling down from the horizon.
Meanwhile, back at my house, we have no yard and cement to play on. Maybe that gives us street cred or something but between you and me it is boring in the summertime. Patios are great and all but there is nothing like running around outside in bare feet and not having to worry about stepping on bottle caps and broken pieces of glass. So we like to go to Whoorl’s. Especially when she has new toys to play with.
The kids had so much fun with this snake sprinkler thing. I think Whoorl is going to write about it on Parent Dish soon. She’ll give you the full scoop. I will just add my two cents and say that it was super fun and very toddler-friendly. If I had a lawn, I would buy one of these things. I would have the greenest lawn ever. I might even have a swamp.
After the sprinkler session, and a good nap for two tuckered-out kids, we dressed them up like little JCrew models and let them have at it with wooden mallets. Then we sipped some cocktails and took photos—which may or may not have a lot to do with how much fun the whole evening was.
Cheers to long summer days and friends who live close by and serve refreshments!