Whacked Clock

My internal clock is whacked right now. For the past month or so I’ve been falling asleep at eight in the evening. It would be six-thirty or seven if I let myself. I can barely fix dinner and watch one episode of CSI before I’m nodding off. It’s embarrassing! I’ve always been a freakish morning person but I could usually manage to stay up until at least nine-thirty. Now, as soon as the sun goes down, I’m longing for my cozy night gown and my soft bed. Seven minutes after my head hits the pillow, I’m asleep like a rock.

Then mysteriously at three in the morning, I wake up as if it was the beginning of a new day. My eyes are so wide open they bug right out of my head. I used to fight it. I’d lie in bed, trying to be as still as possible for hours. It was miserable. Every bone in my body ached and no matter how much I tossed and turned I couldn’t get back to sleep. Now I get up. I have a bowl of cereal and start my day. There’s no use fighting it. I still get my required seven hours of sleep.

I’m just a freak.

I’m hoping it’s just my body getting ready for a baby. I really hope my new schedule meshes with her’s.

Roll Off

I really want to roll off yesterday’s post and post something new because you all spend so much time cheering me up and sending me the most thoughtful kind emails that I start to feel guilty after a while. I don’t deserve all this! But thank you from the bottom of my heart. And yes, it worked. I do feel so much better. I just can’t believe how many people are like me. When I write stuff like that I think, oh no, here comes the wrath of whatever unseen force is out there. But again, time after time, I get nothing but love and support from this website. A BIG FAT humble THANK YOU!!!! And most of all a thank you to one of my Aunts who reached out to me when I needed it. Who is writing me a big fat email but it got eaten by her computer!!! (AAAAgh!) I never realized what an amazing forum and means of communication this would be. I never realized that I would be understood.

Thank you.

That said, I don’t have much else to post. I was hoping to write up a review of this really cool amazing nursery we have by our house. It’s so amazing that even a bus load of tourists from Japan were there today taking pictures and exclaiming all kinds of excited phrases in Japanese. That in itself might have made a fun documentary. But I forgot my camera!!! I never forget my camera. Today I did. My book about pregnancy said I would get forgetful… so maybe that’s kicking in.

I gardened a little today. Bought some new plants and a big ol’ bag of dirt. Gardening is good for the soul. I only have a little garden, just a few pots on asphalt at the back of our house where cars drive by and dogs urinate (on the crabgrass that grows between the cracks in the asphalt, not in my garden pots… hopefully). But it’s my garden and it’s special. As I was out there hosing everything in sight, including my semi-new-pregnancy berkinstocks, I was day dreaming that someday I would bring my daughter out there and we would sit and watch the purple sage flowers wave in the breeze. I know she won’t have much patience for that past maybe six months or so… but it was a nice little day dream. Who knows, maybe I’ll teach her to love gardening like my mom taught me. (I’m sure my mom is thinking, “What! You never liked gardening! I had to pull teeth to get you to help weed.” But now in my olden age (ha!) I do love gardening and I think that is because of you, mom.)