Art Attack

Art Attack

Of all shows to take my mother-in-law to, did I have to take her to the local art museum on the day of the punk ass skater porn show? It’s not like she can’t handle a little nakedness and art. She’s very cosmopolitan. But the penises and the sucking and the crotch shots? Was that really very wise on my part? Maybe I should have done a little research before I planned this outing.

I’m sure I was much more embarrassed than she was. She did date Jack Nicholson after all. It’s not like she hasn’t worn a topless bathing suit in her lifetime. It’s just that lately she’s been saying things about how the music nowadays is crap and that the kids wear the stupidest styles. I can only imagine what she was thinking as we gazed at a collage of Hustler clippings, while the sounds of shredding skateboards molested our ears from a video installation next to us.

On another note, the picture above of the naked woman was actually drawn by my six year old niece. She could totally get into the punk ass skater porn show.

Ode to my New Red Walking Shoes

Ode to my New Red Walking Shoes

I love these shoes, they are so great.
They’re really something to relate.
I love them, I love them, I really do.
They’re nifty and grippy and trippy too!
I’ve walked in them since the day I got ’em.
From ruby red top to big rubber bottom
My feet are happy and blister free.
I don’t have to wear socks, cause they’re not smelly!
They make me happy, they make me smile.
They’re going to Paris to walk the miles.
I’m not worried one bit about them clashing
‘Cause they have their own style, it’s really smashing.
I got them at zappos and you should too.
They come in all colors, even blue!
Every body should have happy feet
And walk to their own hippy beat.
It’s okay to look like Minnie!
With all this walking, we’re gonna be skinny!