• Family Matters,  I forgot to pick a category,  spilling my guts,  The Zoo

    Happy Anniversary Day!

    Photo on 2010-09-23 at 11.58 #2

    Toby and I celebrated our eleven-year wedding anniversary last week. We didn’t go out to dinner or take a romantic getaway somewhere. Nah, that’s not our style. We had a family day and Toby bought me a new laptop. You know, the important things. And believe me, getting a new laptop is sooooooo very important to me. I’ve been squeezing out every last drop of productivity out of my old dinosaur laptop for years now. It’s seven years old. Much older than most laptops ever even dream of living.

    It didn’t play videos anymore. It took what seemed like a thousand years to turn on and shut down. I’d have to start the shut-down process and then walk away and do dishes or something just so I didn’t lose my mind waiting for it. The power cord was frayed. I’d have to pinch it and pull it and situate it just so to get the little green circle of light to turn on and then out of the blue it would flicker off and I’d have to do a rain dance or something to get it on again. And don’t even get me started on the battery. That thing was shot three years ago. So anyway, I loved that laptop dearly but I love my new one even more. I can’t even believe how great it is. It’s like lightning in a thin silver box. It blows me away.

    wowie!!!!!

    Thank you, Toby.

    playing with the new laptop

    What did I get Toby for our anniversary? Nothing. In my defense, he didn’t want anything. But still, I know. It’s kind of sad.

    I probably sound like the most awful, unloving, selfish housewife ever. And I am in many ways. I get to stay home with my daughter all day and frolic in the waves at the beach or putz around the playground mindlessly while Toby slaves away at his job that barely covers our expenses. It really is a luxury to be a stay-at-home mom these days and I am really thankful. But I’d be lying if I said it was all peaches and cream. This year has been tough for both of us. The economy, mid-life crises, family dramas and just plain getting sick of each other because our small rundown house isn’t big enough for the size of the personalities it holds. It’s been a rough year. I just hope we look back on this year someday and smile because we stuck it out.

    I think we will. Most of all for this little person we made.

    breaking out the griddle

    The night before our anniversary I had explained to Bug that Saturday was a really special day. I think I might have overdone it because Bug woke up the next morning shouting like we were going to a party or something. “Happy Anniversary! Happy Anniversary!” she sang out as she danced around the living room in her pajamas. “When are we going to the anniversary?” Poor kid. I had to explain that we really weren’t going anywhere but that it was a special day to do special things. Special things that made us remember why we got married in the first place.

    First we made crepes.

    crepes! ready, set...

    Crepes are special to me because before I met Toby I didn’t even know what they were. He’s the one who taught me how to make the pancake batter extra thin and sponge-y with added eggs. On our honeymoon we went to Seattle we had them every morning in Pike Place Market. I remember it so clearly. Walking down the steep sidewalk from our high-rise apartment, into the hustle and bustle of the street market. We’d wind our way around the stalls, past the vegetables, fruit and flowers and flying fish until we found the crepe cart where a woman served us giant burrito-sized crepes filled with strawberries and whipped cream and Nutella. It’s a good thing I lost twenty pounds before my wedding because I think I put five back on just during that week. Of course half of those pounds came from the three mochas I drank a day but that’s another story.

    Crepes will always be special to me.

    making crepes you eat it like a burrito

    I think they’ll be special to Bug now too since they are now official “Happy Anniversary!” food.

    picky choosy

    After our special Happy Anniversary breakfast, we took a little trip to the Magnolia Bird Farm. I know most people will think visiting a bird store is the most unromantic thing ever but it’s special to us. We only go probably once a year and it’s a fun family thing we do together.

    spice finches

    It’s kind of like going to a zoo that only has birds. You can walk around an outside aviary and look at all kinds of finches, parakeets, doves and parrots. There are palm trees and rubber plants growing in the middle and water drips down from the roof, creating an exotic jungle atmosphere. It’s not fancy. There is bird poop and mud everywhere and the cages are old and stained from years of use but it’s special and unique and something that most people don’t even know about. Since Toby has a giant aviary in his office that holds finches, we sort of collect birds as a hobby. We have spice finches and a few varieties of waxbills. We had a lonely orange waxbill that needed a mate so we were there to find him some friends.

    zebra finches dove

    We found all sorts of new friends.

    holding a bird

    Ali Babba saying hello

    parakeets

    poor bunny

    Even a bunny! Boy did Bug want to take that bunny home but Toby and I have had experience with rabbits as pets before and we do not ever ever want to have a pet bunny again. Not unless we live on a farm or something where the bunny can stay outside and chew outside things instead of our electrical cords and furniture. Bunnies are bad news for small run-down apartments.

    watching catching a bird

    In the end we went home with one red waxbill, one yellow waxbill and two purply-blue waxbills. I forget their technical names but they are very pretty and supposedly get along really well with other birds. But best of all we went home with some fresh new memories of why we love the bird farm. They all know us there and this time they let Bug come inside the finch cage and attempt to catch her own bird. I’m glad she didn’t catch one though because the guy who works there who catches them is the master of catching birds. He’s super calm and quiet and then with a flick of his wrist he’ll swipe one out of thin air. Not unlike Mr. Miyagi catching flies with a chop stick

    picking a feather

    Then when they were boxing up our birds they let Bug pick out a fancy feather. That’s always fun.

    a family outing

    I hope we have many more years of Happy Anniversary visits.

  • domesticity,  Family Matters,  Life Lessons,  spilling my guts,  the sticks

    Operation Clean-Up

    CC and me

    My sister-in-law, CC, and I have been hanging out a lot lately. We were commiserating over the challenges that each of us has been facing and we struck a funny deal that will help both of us out. She’s going to watch my kid so I can get some work done (I’m really behind on some freelance jobs) and I’m going to help her clean her house! And we’re both happy with this arrangement! Imagine that!

    CC has been fighting depression, financial issues compounded by an out-of-work husband, two crazy kids and a house that has become hopelessly overrun by clutter and chaos. Of course, chaos and clutter are nothing new in my family. It’s sort of a secret that I’ve let slip out a bit here and there. We deal with it.

    clean-up 1

    Sometimes I feel like I’m pulled between two worlds in my life: one a clean calm beach life surrounded by snobbery and beauty, and the other deeply rooted in mobile homes, fast food, government aid and Walmart. I don’t really belong in either. But this is not about me.

    It’s about CC. Even though she’s okay with chaos and clutter it does wear her down. It’s hard to keep up with chores when there is no end in sight ever ever ever. Sometimes it’s just easier to crank up the air conditioner, stay in bed and ignore the world for days—which is not healthy for her or her family.

    Anyway, we were talking about how much I love to borrow her camera all the time and how I wish I could pay her rent on it and pay her for the babysitting she does for me but how broke I am, etc. And then she suggested that maybe I could come help her do her dishes in exchange. I’ve helped her clean her house before but it was sort of awkward and embarrassing for her. I totally understand that.

    But I love to clean. I love to organize. I love a good makeover project.

    clean-up 2

    So we struck a bargain, and as we worked together cleaning up her house, we started talking about the mental issues that go along with this kind of mess. I’m not trying to say that she’s a crazy loon (though sometimes I think she is, and I say that affectionately). Lots of people live in houses like this. Probably more than you think. I did.

    I don’t know how I became the neatnik I am now. I just sort of broke the cycle (Toby would probably disagree). I can’t really judge CC because her home is bursting with love and acceptance while mine is rigid and stressful. It’s just fascinating to me, the complexities that make up our home life. The way some people are perfectionists but can’t keep anything neat because they are paralyzed by indecision or the fact that they cannot put things away in the perfect spot.

    For example CC has all of her DVDs alphabetized and she has a spreadsheet cataloging them by genre and a bunch of other categories! Who does that?!!! Crazy lovable people who don’t do their dishes, that’s who. But if you went to my house, where the dishes are always done and the floor is clutter-free, you could open any drawer and have it explode out onto you with unfolded clothes or utensils that don’t have a home, or toys that are not sorted. I do not sort. I just stuff things in bins or drawers or closets and they are out of sight. I’m organized. I’m just not a perfectionist about it.

    clean-up 3

    Amazingly, CC is letting me write about this here. She is the most open-hearted person I know. Yes, she is embarrassed that she has fallen so far behind in her chores but I think she knows that me helping her is something bigger. Just the companionship of us both being there together dealing with it was a huge mood lifter for both of us. Sometimes you can’t do things on your own. You fall down a rabbit hole and it’s impossible to climb out. And this is my life too. It’s something that fascinates me, maybe because of the way I grew up. I don’t know. I just know that I love helping people with their out-of-control homes. Someday I want to write a book about it.

    clean-up 4

    Anyway, it was fun to work together on this. CC was on fire and by the end of eight hours we found the floor!

    dinner

    We even put together a home-cooked meal and made ourselves congratulatory drinks. We don’t need no stinkin’ Taco Bell or McDonald’s, we are women who get things done. Hear us roar!

    We’re not going to be able to conquer the entire mess in three days, which is how long I’m out here. But I’m thinking I can come out and help once a month. Me helping won’t solve everything. I won’t be showing any magazine-style spreads of her home anytime soon but it’s fun, inspiring and I get free babysitting!