Art Attack

Art Attack

Of all shows to take my mother-in-law to, did I have to take her to the local art museum on the day of the punk ass skater porn show? It’s not like she can’t handle a little nakedness and art. She’s very cosmopolitan. But the penises and the sucking and the crotch shots? Was that really very wise on my part? Maybe I should have done a little research before I planned this outing.

I’m sure I was much more embarrassed than she was. She did date Jack Nicholson after all. It’s not like she hasn’t worn a topless bathing suit in her lifetime. It’s just that lately she’s been saying things about how the music nowadays is crap and that the kids wear the stupidest styles. I can only imagine what she was thinking as we gazed at a collage of Hustler clippings, while the sounds of shredding skateboards molested our ears from a video installation next to us.

On another note, the picture above of the naked woman was actually drawn by my six year old niece. She could totally get into the punk ass skater porn show.

Illustration Friday: Ancient

Illustration Friday: Ancient

I love illustration Friday. It pushes me in ways I never would have gone. Especially on days like today when I want to write about something completely unrelated to the chosen word of the week. So how am I going to tie the word “ancient” into what I really want to talk about? I’m going to push the outer limits of creative writing, that’s how.

I was collecting beach bits for Amanda and I was looking all over my house for something to put them in. Something sweet but durable and definitely mailable. I was all set on making some vellum paper bags and sewing up the sides with a zig zag stitch, when Toby had to muck things up and tell me that my beach bits would be sooooo much better if I put them in jar. He always does this to me. I’m all settled on what I’m going to do and I go into his office to show off my nifty new idea and then he sends me a curve ball criticism that completely throws me off course and makes me doubt everything I did. A jar. A jar. A jar. I searched high and low for a jar that would be suitable. Toby suggested I look in the fridge since that’s where we keep ancient relics that we never think to look for elsewhere. Sure enough there was an ancient jar in the fridge. It was full of ancient Fusano California Valley Olives. They looked like they were a hundred years old. Out went the ancient olives and into a bowl of hot soapy water went the jar so I could soak off the label. And then I went back to my office to wait.

While I waited for the label to soak off I decided to screw Toby’s idea and I made my cute little velum paper bags with a zig zag stitch anyway. I think they turned out pretty cute. So cute that I bet you’re sorry you didn’t ask for one.

And that’s that.

I also celebrated that a couple of stressful jobs finally went to press today and I made a little movie about beach bits for you. (3.79 MB, 2.18 minutes) (actually I made it for Amanda and my niece but you can watch it too)