• artsy fartsy,  I'm an idiot

    Crafts-in-Boxes


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    Normally, I hate crafts in a box. Why you ask? Because I can and should have invented them before they were a thing. In fact, I did try to create such a thing way back in the day.

    Whenever I blogged a craft, I tried to save up enough extra supplies to mail a few friends a “craft in a box” but it never worked out because I was always short one dowel or one button or one tiny tube of red paint or whatever.  The half-filled boxes sat around my house collecting dust and annoying me. Basically, I just never got my act together.

    You can imagine my chagrin when I walk down the aisles of Michael’s and I see any number of crafts that I invented for my job at alphamom.com all boxed up and on the shelf selling for a eight bucks a pop.

    But whatever. I am an inventor not a marketer. (Hold-up. I AM a marketer. What is wrong with me?!!)  I’m just not a mass-assembler-machine-robot. I work for myself with no extra elves shopping for me or sweatshops mass-producing what I tell them to. Excuses, excuses…

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    What is funny is that we get a lot of crafts-in-a boxes for gifts. I guess people think, They’re crafty. I should get them some crafts!  That’s logical enough and I am usually really happy to receive such things even though in my head I’m already thinking about how I can regift it to someone else because I am the CRAFT SNOB!! I invented the paintpen+mug/wooden button=mushroom/paint-your-own-teapot/tie-dye sock puppet craft FIRST!!!

    When I really start getting snobby-crazy is when they tell me that I should write a blog post about this really cool craft-in-a-box that they bought at Michaels. That’s when I start mumbling to myself and banging my head on the table… But whatever? Right?

    I know you are trying to remember if you ever gave me a craft-in-a-box and I assure you that it was not YOU and if you did, I am just about to turn this story around and tell you that YOU ARE MY SAVING GRACE and I will now eat humble pie so don’t get defensive just yet.

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    Guess what the kids have been doing for days now that I’m trying to work from home and babysit at the same time and summer vacation has been lasting for an eternity and a day? CRAFTS IN BOXES!!  That’s right. We are not too proud to open a box and bust out a craft. In fact, I LOVE THEM because my kid is now eight and very self motivated and she can do crafts by herself for hours and hours and hours. She can EVEN READ DIRECTIONS. It’s been amazing.

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    So thank you, Mom, and everybody else who got us crafts-in-boxes over the years. I’m glad now that I saved them on those very high closet shelves because now it is like Christmas and all day long the kids that file in and out of my superfun! house are being very crafty all by their very crafty selves.

    Crafts-in-boxes are a very beautiful thing. Whoever invented them should get a prize. Shoulda been me.