This Blog is Dead

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You know when I say something like, This blog is dead.  I don’t mean it. I could never kill this space. I need it. And usually whenever I claim I’m going to do (or not do) something I immediately do the opposite and make a fool of myself. So I’m not killing this blog. I’m just saying that my life isn’t here anymore.

It’s kind of sad. I miss the bi-weekly updates. I hate the fact that I do everything on my phone now and all my photos are downgraded to the best that instragram can provide. But it is the reality of this time and space. Mobile is where it’s at whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing and I, along with everyone else, am there all the time. So if you have been wondering where I am and what I am doing, I suggest you get an instagram account and follow me there.

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My life has been a whirlwind for a while now. My grandma died right after Thanksgiving. I didn’t have Bug this Thanksgiving (she was with her Dad and his family) so it was bittersweet that I got to be with my family and actually spend my Thanksgiving dinner sitting by my Grandma’s bed feeding her stuffing and turkey. I couldn’t ask for better memories of her in her last days.

The funeral was beautiful. There was a graveside for close family and it was really touching to see relatives that have not spoken for years standing together with tears running down their cheeks.  There are so many feelings that center around the matriarch of our family. Good and bad all mingled together.

She didn’t want us to be sad. She wanted us to wear bright colors and sing songs. So we did. We sang and sang and sniffled and made jokes. It was family at it’s best.

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My niece, Rapunzel (aka Amber), has been visiting us for a while now. It’s been nice to have her back around. She extended her stay extra long so she could get some dental work done here in Orange County so I’ve had a teenager in my house  for a while. It’s been really nice. Built in babysitter, random house-cleaner, back-up cook, tv programmer… She watches Bug for me and gives her baths and washes her hair. I wish she could live with us full time. She also brought her cat with her so that’s been fun having an extra cat in the house for a few weeks. Good thing he’s a super sweet guy.

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Wow. And Christmas happened too!  I have some normal photos of that but I haven’t processed them yet. I don’t know if I’ll get to that. Toby came over and spoiled Bug rotten with all kinds of motorized remote control vehicles. This year was the year of remote controlled boats and hovercraft AND puzzles.

Blast that stupid puzzle! I bought it thinking it would be as much fun as last year but it has turned out to be a major pain in my behind. It’s a picture of a geisha girl and the flowers and patterns are so mixed and complicated, it makes your eyes cross just trying to figure out what piece goes where. I thought I would finish it by New Year’s eve but yet… still here it sits, cluttering up my living room floor.  I think in another week I’m going to have to throw in the towel and box it up unfinished.

 

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Lastly, I’m dating. I’ve met someone who makes me laugh and smile. If you haven’t heard from me this is why. It’s so new and scary for me.  I don’t even know what I’m doing. Lots of people won’t approve so I keep it to myself. But just know that I’m trying really hard to be careful of my heart and other’s. So that’s where I’ve been.  There are lots more details but I’m not ready to share. The best glimpses you’ll get are on instagram.

Instagram killed the blog.

 

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16 Comments This Blog is Dead

  1. Jennifer

    I want to thank you for the past nine or ten years of blog posts–I’m really glad I got to cyber-know you. But enjoy living your life and don’t worry about how you do (or don’t) document it for others. Living it is the most important part! Best wishes always.

    Reply
  2. Nina

    I too have followed your blog for many years, remembering the posts when you were awaiting Bug’s arrival- Baby Bug back then.

    The illustrations, the ups and downs of life- I admired you for following your heart and making art your career, wistfully reading and wishing I had been brave enough to overcome parental pressure to become a teacher instead.

    And…thank you. Thank you so so much for the wonderful illustration you did of my daughter and her boyfriend. That darling image has been used in many ways- and it was on the stamps for their save-the-date cards. Your work charmed a lot of relatives and friends.

    I’m sorry your grandmother passed. There is no relationship like that between a grandma and a grandchild and I know you will love and miss her forever.

    Brenda, I have never gotten to meet you in person, but if you are ever in Tucson, we must meet up. I’m glad you’ll be staying connected to your readers through other means. And congratulations on the new relationship in your life- new steps and a new stage in your life to look forward to.

    Again- you have created a wonderful blog and I have enjoyed reading every bit of it. Thank you for sharing your life with us, your readers.

    Reply
  3. Jill

    I also feel like I know you, but I completely understand where you’re coming from on this. I’m glad you are laughing and smiling, everyone deserves that.

    Reply
  4. JanetS

    Oh, how you’ll laugh at this — I’ll follow you on Instagram as soon as I upgrade my dinosaur phone to a smart one.

    Reply
  5. Cathy

    Another long-time follower of your blog. Selfishly, I really, really hope you do the opposite and keep the blog alive! When I read it it’s like hearing from an old friend (and even, on occasion hearing from myself 10 years ago!) but I am so happy that you’re living life and doing well! Yay for you. Fortunately, I’ve finally jumped on Instagram. :) All the best and much happiness to you and Bug!

    Reply
  6. Jen Wilson

    You scared me for a minute there!!! I’m so glad this blog is not dead. It’s one of the first ones I ever read!!

    I’m so happy for you for the happy parts and sad with you for the sad parts. xo

    :)

    Reply
  7. Mary

    Oh boy, I’m going to miss you and like Cathy, I’m being selfish! But you remind me of ME as you live your life and it’s like checking in with my buddy once a week when I read your updates.
    However, I’m thrilled with all the good things happening for you, long may they continue. Be happy & live n’ love life :-)

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  8. Ashley S

    Ok, so dating should NOT be the last thing on the list! So excited for you that you’re venturing on to trying something new. Just remember the people who “wouldn’t approve” aren’t you, they’re not living your life and their thoughts of you don’t define you – you do. If this feels right that to heck in a handbasket with them :) Have fun!

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  9. a chris

    So sorry for the loss of your grandma. What a beautiful picture of her on the funeral program. I know from reading this blog that she was an inspirational lady!

    I hate to see this blog fade, but what can I say? I haven’t updated mine in aeons. Life takes up time!

    I feel compelled to echo Ashley S’ very good point about people who wouldn’t approve of dating not being you. If you don’t approve of it, quit it! Or at least, date someone different! :P Otherwise, I wish you the best experiences! I know you have great friends to help you navigate.

    Reply
  10. Kathryn S.

    I’m so sorry about your grandma. The funeral sounds like it was wonderful. I’m so glad your family was able to celebrate her life.

    I’m also glad to hear that you are dating. :) Enjoy it!

    I’m in denial that you are killing the blog. I know what you mean about everything being on the phone. It’s hard to keep up with a blog when there are so many other things to keep up with, but I hope you still do.

    Reply
  11. KarenG

    I am so very sorry to hear about your grandmother. I hope you find comfort in all of the good memories and beautiful photos you have of her. I will be happy to read whatever you post whenever you have time – it is always a good read. Enjoy life in 2014!

    Reply
  12. Jillian

    I’m sorry to hear about your grandma. Mine died in July and Christmas this year was very difficult. Her favorite holiday, without her there.

    And having been in several relationships that others were hard pressed to approve of, I say I fully support you. If he makes you laugh and makes you feel good about waking up in the morning and if you spend hours thinking about fun things the two of you can do together and if you wish that you could be 100% open about it because you just know that this is amazing and you want to share the happiness with everyone then you don’t need anyone else’s approval. You have your own. Best of luck to you. And I’ll totally be following you on insta.

    Reply
  13. islandmummy

    Your blog was the first one that I read. I’ve been reading since mid 2007, my daughter is just 2 months younger than Bug. I’ll be sorry if you do stop blogging, but I do understand that life moves on. As a longtime reader I am glad that you are both well and happy. Thank you for sharing the glimpse into your lives and your creativity. I wish you every happiness.

    Reply

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