I bought a five dollar slip-n-slide yesterday. You might as well call me a sucker. You know how those things work: You throw yourself down on the rock-hard ground and then slide along in the mud and bits of grass, giving yourself a nice grass burn, until you hit the end with a big splash of muddy water up your nose. It’s all very painful and insane. But it’s been hot and I’m trying to keep the kids from going too crazy. Beat-up and bruised or insane? I choose bruised.

And of course I had to show them how it’s done.

I am turning thirty-nine next week so I feel the need to brag that I’m not too old to slip-n-slide. What scratches all over my knees, elbows and upper thighs? Those are just beauty marks, right?