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HOW DID I GET HERE?

how did I get here?

This post is from my good friend Angella from Dutch Blitz. Thank you Angella!

I am a woman in her mid-thirties. A wife of one and a mother of three. Some days I do not know how I arrived to this place. To this Thing Called Life that I am living.

I remember being a teenager. Full of pimples, plump with fat, ensconced with glasses. I daydreamed about Boys, talked about Boys with my girlfriends, wondered if I would ever have a Boy to call my own.

This same scenario continued into my twenties. I was a Girl. Hoping for a Boy. So that we could make Kids.

I wondered if it would really happen. If I would Find The One. My friends seemed to have no problem finding their Boy.

I remember talking to God and telling Him that I was totally fine with having no Boy, if that is what The Plan was. All I asked was that He take the desire for The Boy from my heart.

It was only fair.

Shortly thereafter, I met THE BOY. We had two weeks of dates, and four weeks later we were engaged. Five months later we were married.

I KNOW.

Fast forward eight years and we have somehow arrived to this Thing Called Life. Three kids under the age of six. Two boys, one girl. People stop me in the street, many times over. They make the comment, “Three kids! You must be busy”.

Sherlock. You are on to something.

Yes. We are busy.

Yes. It is crazy.

Yes. I lose my temper more than I should.

Yes. I have three of the most amazing children that Earth has ever seen.

Yes. I somehow managed to marry the most perfect match that I could have ever hoped for.

Yes. My laundry is a little behind.

Don’t even get me started on my bathrooms.

I often look in the rearview mirror at my three children and am sideswiped by the enormity of it all.

I am a WIFE.

I am a MOM.

I have THREE KIDS.

HOW DID I GET HERE?

I am baffled. Amazed. Tired. Astounded. Crazy. Awestruck.

I would not have it any other way.

20 Comments

  • Jummy

    Thanks for giving me hope, Angella. I think it’s time I talked to God, with faith and sincerity, just like my dad keeps telling me to! I love how you asked Him to take the desire away if it wasn’t part of The Plan for you to have a Boy of your own.

    From not even knowing him to engaged in six weeks! How brave and wonderful!

  • To Think Is To Create

    I’m in my 30’s and up until last Friday had 3 kids under 6 (oldest turned 6 on that day). I do that same in-the-rear-view-mirror mental roll call and am stunned. I think these things so often that you’d think I’d notice I’ve been a mom for over 6 years

  • nicole

    I can relate to looking in the rearview mirror and being sideswiped by it all. I have 2 kids. God is good and for all the angst we once had about a future spouse!! Nice to be on this side of it!

  • Jeanmarie

    Be careful what you wish for…..not everyone looks in the rear view mirror and SMILES when they say “How did I get here?”…some of us cry – and say – “Why did I settle?”

  • bethany actually

    “I was a Girl. Hoping for a Boy. So that we could make Kids.”

    Made me laugh out loud. :-)

    I have one cousin who has six kids, five of them born (on purpose!) within seven years of each other; and another cousin with two sets of twins born less than two years apart. Next time you feel crazily busy, think of them and feel the relief flow over you. That’s what I always do!

  • Elaine

    Look at you guys up there! Perfect picture!

    Isn’t it funny how we turn around and all the sudden life is exaclty what we’d hope for!? ; )

  • cindy

    What a great post! I felt the same way about babies. I wanted one so bad and tried for so long. I asked God to take away my desire to have them if I was not supposed to have them. And then I had three.
    Its almost as if I was supposed to have that surrender moment with God before I could have the babies.
    Thanks for this post :)

  • Gayle

    So glad you found what you were hoping for! I had that “surrender moment”, as cindy from the comments called it, regarding having children. We tried for seven years and then I remember so vividly coming to the realization that maybe children were not meant to be a part of my life. I was pregnant very soon after! Now I look at my children, ages 15, 12 and 10 and am so very thankful.

  • Jerri Ann

    I agree with you, “how did this happen?” In the last year I went from being a wahm as a blogger with 2 kids in tow, to owning a daycare and barely having time breathe to being back at home as a wahm as a blogger with one child here and one in kindergarten. How can all that happen without my permission?

  • bethany

    how cool … God works in funny ways doesn’t he?! Same kind of experience here … Wanting Boy and never having. Giving up and saying OK I’ll take it this way and move on with life, and then Boys crawling out of the woodwork! Took me awhile to find THE Boy, or rather admit that I HAD found THE boy, but God has been so good to us. I often have the “how on earth did I get HERE?” feeling. I don’t miss the angst :).

  • JennyC.No3

    Heaven help me – as i read “Sherlock. You are on to something.” i happened to be drinking my morning tea. 10 minutes later, i’d wiped up said tea that i had accidentally spit out in laughter. God bless you and thanks for perking up my morning (even if it *was* a messy one) :)

  • Donna

    Try looking in that rearview mirror and seeing no one anymore…you blink your eyes and suddenly your cute little one is TWENTY!…and away at college. I can’t believe where the time goes! Enjoy the sweet times while you can…they are so precious!

  • Rhi

    You are AMAZING. And – while the boy and I have been dating 3 WHOLE MONTHS now! Things are moving really fast, but I know they’re so right. So, reading your story just underlines the fact that when you “know” you know!

    xo

  • Missy

    I have three girls, under 6 years of age. I wish I had a dollar for every time someone said to me, “Three kids! You must be busy!”
    Great post!
    Missy